Saturday, April 27, 2013

A Dedication of Love & Light

Very early this morning a beloved soul was lost to its original realm. It's always such a sad thing when a person dies, and it really reminds you how fast it can all change. In an instant, someone who's hand you could hold one day, is gone. Life is a very precious gift we have been granted, and it shouldn't be taken for granted. In light of this, I automatically think about what would happen if one of my best friends died, or if I died. Would there be things left unsaid? Would I have wished I made it more clear how important they were? Of course. So I have decided to write this post as a way to honor the life that was lost, by honoring those that still remain, with words of love, appreciation, and gratitude.

This is for all of my family, my friends, my kindred spirits, and opposing forces. 
It goes out to all those who I have loved, those I still do love, and those I might never be able to love. 
For all those counterparts to my being, and all those negative forces that make me stronger through the fight...

I LOVE YOU. I may not say it enough, I may not have said it ever, and you may not know, feel, see, or believe, but know now, that I love you so very much.

Even those of you who have never been very close to me, your time in my life was by design. I may not figure out or know why until further down the line, or ever, but there are no chance encounters in this life, and I thank you for the brief time you might have spent in mine. I cannot wish you anything but the best, no matter if you've treated me the worst. Be blessed! <3

And then there are those of you who have most certainly made your mark on my life. Those of you who I've been able to call a friend, and share some unforgettable, or completely unmemorable times with. If we've ever shared a laugh, a cry, or a moment at all, you have played a special role in my life, and given me something that many live without -- connection. Thank you so much for being a smile, and to you, all the happiness there is! <3

For those who have transcended the level of friend, and become family, I adore you. We are the family that we chose. We are lucky in life if we love the family we're born into, and given a beautiful opportunity to choose our own while we're here. I can't explain how happy I am we've found each other, and mutually decided, by the power vested in our souls, to spend the rest of our lives linked. It is because of you that I know love, share love, and love love. It is because of you that I am complete. Without you I would feel lost, without knowing why. Without you, my days would hold little meaning, and I would have no one to rely on. I would feel completely and utterly inhuman. You are gems, salt of the earth, the brightest shining stars, and the most glorified of all humans. You are a part of my soul. We are a greater collective being when we are together. The unconditional love that is shared is pure, it's rare, and it's the way we're meant to live. I can cry so easily when I think of you. To know we're so physically apart tears up my insides, but then I remember we're all just a bunch of souls, and then I shed tears of joy to know how special you are and that I am blessed enough to call you mine, and know the love I feel for you is reciprocated. Thank you for giving me a greater purpose, and making my life so much brighter and lighter! <3

And for the family I was born into: I am a lucky one. To have come to a place of such great love for the family that God placed me with, it's rare, it's lovely, and it's so beautiful. Each year of my life that passes makes me appreciate and understand you more. My love only grows, deepens, and becomes more pure towards you as the time passes on. You are all special, freaky, and a little bit off your rockers in your own ways, and I wouldn't change that. We are a crazy family, and I am so glad. What an eclectic group of people. Thank you for always supporting me in all the off-beat decisions that I make, and never trying to make me feel like I can't do what my heart and soul tell me to do. To know that I have the support system I do in you overwhelms me. I am so blessed and grateful for your presence in my life.

I cannot express enough the love I feel for you, humanity. What would we be without other people? We would be such lost souls on earth, trying, searching, needing, seeking that connection, and always finding temporary satisfaction in something, but never for long enough to quench the thirst. Our souls and our purpose is to connect and to love, and I am so grateful to each and every one of you for giving me the chance to fulfill my life's purpose with you.

Your beauty isn't something you can know, because it must be observed from the outside. But trust me when I say, YOU ARE WONDERFUL!

Please, hug as many people as you can, kiss as many as you can, love as many as you can and then some, and never, ever let the people in your life go for long without knowing how important they are to you!


Thank you, Will, for inspiring a generation, and being part of our soul family. I wish I'd been blessed with time to really get to know you, but the soul doesn't need time to know. I'm so excited for you to be able to no longer be bound in the physical world, and instead rocket around as a soul! Now, more than ever, you really are, A Time Traveling Diamond! To a lifetime in another realm<3 


Tuesday, April 23, 2013

OMFG, Dude, Rave!

Alright, yesterday's post was all serious and enlightening and stuff, so today, I'm taking a different angel..

I just watched the trailer for HARD Summer, and it legitimately made me fall back in love with raving. and remember why I loved it in the first place -- DANCE DANCE DANCE your face off, love everyone around you, and womp TFO. I realize that I am in Europe right now, where the parties literally don't stop till six [seven, eight, nine, whenever] in tha morn', and there are loads of EDM events, BUT that does not mean that Bassnectar, FlyLo, Crystal Castles, SBTRKT, Justice, XXYYXX, 2 Chainz, Azealia Banks, Dillon Francis, Breakbot, Empire of the Sun, and some select others will all be on the same bill.

Ok, yeah, chances are I can get all of them at any given event here, but not a single line up that I've seen for any fest happening this side of the sea this season has the Nectar on it, and let's face it, he's my all-time-bass-baby-everything-anything-whomp-a-doodle-scratch-skirt-whatever-love, so, therefore, #notsatisfied. And YES I just threw down a hashtag in a blog post // am being a total whiny little b-word about all this, in spite of the fact I am living my dreams overseas and whatnot. WHATEVS. A girl is allowed to get like this every once in a while and completely ignore the blessings around. ;)

(PS. If any of you lovely people know of an event that can deliver me that lineup, please pass the name along! Thank you, namaste <3)

America, you crazy, messed up, nutty-but-wonderful place you..enjoy that s---! Carry me there in spirit and send me videos of you wobble-ing out!

This probably is all stemming from the fact that the last two weekends were Coachella weekends, and I had to live through endless posts on all forms of social media about it. (Seriously, especially to my friends that went both weekends...good on you, and I am real jelly.) Also stemming from the fact that Lightning in a Bottle is practically just around the corner, and most of my festi fam is going to be there, and it pretty much changed my life last year, and this year I can't go, and waaahhhh!! Annnddd, I just need to rrrreeeeelaaaxxx and remember that now it's festival season, and my time will come again soon. (But can't at least some of my fam come on out here to get down with me EU-fest-style??)

Now that I've gotten that out of my system (but really, I feel so much better, and this is not webcasm [web-sarcasm]), I will share the trailer with you all that got my yoga pants in a bunch, because, I think it is clever as heck, and if it has the power to make me want to actually go to a rave again, then it's pretty heavy (in my opinion)...


People in the EDM world, try and tell me that's not a really clever and well-done trailer? One of the best I've seen. I like the blend of the dogs representing the artists (especially the beautiful blonde representing Bassnectar, I LOL-ed, like, for real, like, on that one...like), and the showing of the fest itself. Fine job to the editors.

Gah, I'm gushing PLUR all over the place now! I don't know

<< Blerppp..ADD Drift: I think just thinking about raves made me go e-tarded for a second, because instead of actually writing out "I don't know," like a good writing girl should, I wrote "Idk," at first, and then used periods instead of commas. WOW! FACEPALM, shaking my head, and all the rest of those things that have become normal things for us to say thanks to Twitter. >> 

But as I was saying... I don't know why I turned into such an old-raver-fogie-hipster for a while there and was hating on the scene, but now, I am back in love! But, that's also easy to say when I'm not at an event surrounded by people whose eyes are in the back of their heads, I have no room to dance, and the people who made the set times put all the people I really want to see on at the same time. (Another facepalm.) I guess the last four or five times I've gone and left thinking, "I'm over this scene, it's no longer for me, I'm not going to another rave anymore, just camping events that have more aspects than EDM (art, yoga, meditation, sustainability, etc)," weren't enough to really ward me off, because I want to go to a rave again! Ah! Haha. So easily swayed am I! What a perfect specimen of predictability. >.<

But really, that trailer just made me think peace, love, unity, and respect so hard, that I think I need to test myself at a rave once more! (Yay, I'm actually really excited about this, because they are really beautiful and fun places!) And I think the fact that I am now in love with myself in a way I wasn't before will have a huge impact on my level of enjoyment. Because really, to rave, is to be a part of a culture and community where you are accepted as you are, you accept everyone as they are, you don't have to hide yourself, and you can express yourself in a variety of ways, without being, for the most part, judged, AND you are all there for a common love (for some, it's the copious amounts of drugs they can consume and enjoy all the stimuli in the world, for others, the music, and for some, both [among other reasons]). It really is a beautiful place full of freaks and weirdo's, beauty queens and burn outs, and everyone in between. What a glorious parallel Universe it is!

And now, I think all the 100% puuurrrree...C---- cacao (how many of you thought I was going to say coke? Be honest!) has burned off, and it's time for me to hit the mat hard! (Yoga silly people! Although it is not uncommon for that to end with a session of some super heavy stepping!) I just wanted to share this burst of random energy with you all, and tell you how much I lalalalalalalalaloooove you! You're beautiful, you're wonderful, you're awakening, you've got it going on! Use it!

Enjoy life lovely souls!

<3 

Monday, April 22, 2013

Why Moving Out of Chico was the Best Thing That's Ever Happened to Me

There comes a time in the lives of many where everything changes drastically, you are left wondering who you are, nowadays you're left wondering what you're going to do, and every single thing you knew before, is no longer the same. That time generally comes when you graduate college.

It's a horrific time -- a celebration that you don't realize signifies the end of an ear, the completion of the years where you can act a fool and no one really says anything, and the end of, especially for those of us in Chico, a period in our lives where we literally do not live in the real world, and instead, enjoy living in a bubble (normally formed by Keystone Light). No one can prepare you for the emotions you are going to face when you graduate, because you really have to experience them yourself in order to understand it. It is a VERY strange time in our lives, and you really just have to go through it, try to remain positive, and remember that the good times aren't dead, they're simply different now, more...mature.

But in spite of all the depression that follows one of the most epic weekends of celebrating we'll ever endure (I actually talked myself up for the Feria de abril in Sevilla last week by saying to myself, "Think: grad weekend! If you can rally and do that, you can do anything."), there is a very, very bright light at the end of the tunnel for some of us! Hopefully all, but of course, blanket statements are ALWAYS bad (unless you are making a blanket statement about blanket statements;), and not everyone finds their way after they leave the college bubble. For me, this light really started to shine when I moved here to Spain to follow my heart and my dreams. I can now honestly say, something that will truly shock many, might kill some, and piss off others, that: graduating from college and moving out of Chico was THE BEST thing that has ever happened to me.

Yes, let me repeat that once more to make sure you are really thrown down into your chair..

Graduating college and moving OUT OF Chico was THE BEST thing that has ever happened to me.

Are you fully blown away? Good, I've got your attention.

Now, I will never ever look back on my time in Chico and think, "my gosh, I really wish I didn't have those years of my life." I met some of the most amazing people, got to live in a truly wonderful city, and love so much that I had those experiences, but now that I have been removed from that place for just over a year (which translates to many, many more years in post-grad life), I can really see how detrimental it was on so many different levels.

For one, why is it that we think we aren't drunk enough unless we are completely blacked out? Is it so bad to actually remember our nights? And when did blacking out become the new standard for drinking anyways? I really remember [the beginning of] each night of drinking, being in the process, and I can probably pinpoint at which shot I was sufficiently drunk (in most cases), but did not think it was enough because I was still pretty coherent. I mean, come on, how many of us have "cheers'd" with a shot in hand and actually said, "this will be the one that puts me over"? Yeah, now you're remembering all those times, huh? (*Cough, cough, last weekend, cough cough* <-- If you're still there;) I think it made it even worse that 90% of the time I could be blacked out, and wouldn't appear to be so to those around me, or even aware of it myself. We became experts at hiding how drunk we really were -- our true subject of study. So when you mix that with the desire to be as trashed as everyone around you so you too can make sloppy, bad choices, you get a great, big, awesome mess of a time! (I'm so sorry parents, grandparents, church people, teachers, employers, and etc who are reading this. Please know that I am no longer this way.)

Alcohol is literally the devil's drink. Now that I don't really drink very often, and when I do, drink much, MUCH less, I can honestly say that I think that I used drinking a lot of alcohol as an excuse to do things that I wouldn't do sober. How many people do we know that either made out with or actually slept with more than one or two guys in a night because she was too drunk to decide she probably didn't want to do that? Too many. How many of us have woken up in the morning with low self-esteem because we did something the night before that we would NEVER consider doing had we not been drunk? Too many of us. And how many times did we wake up trying to piece together our nights and no one really knows about large chunks of time? Too many.

THIS IS NOT NORMAL. We are so desensitized these days by movies, TV, and life in general, that it just seems so okay to get hammered and become completely disconnected from ourselves. Yes, of course, sometimes it is really necessary to let loose, forget most of your morals, and just live without inhibitions for a little, but every weekend? Every night? Not so necessary.

 This is me on Halloween in Barcelona in 2009. I think it goes w/o saying that there was a lot of alcohol consumed before this photo was taken.
Here, is the same chick, at about six or seven am after a night of going out when I was in Bilbao just a couple weekends back. The difference? I didn't black out or consume way more than I should have.
And here I am once more, completely stone-cold sober.

<<  Pretty incredible the difference, huh? O_o  >>

My darling dino love said something to me once that really stuck, and is so completely true: "Alcohol disconnects us from our spiritual selves."

This might not mean much to many people, but to me, as someone who is now highly spiritual and really focused on it, that's scary. And since he said it, the couple times I've gone out and drank, without even getting wasted, I could feel it, and I could tell that I was completely disconnected from the me that I have been working to become. I did not like to realize that.

And it is because of this reason that I really feel that leaving Chico was the best thing that could have happened for me. I don't think I would have ever found this deep sense of spirituality had I stayed there. It's possible, because I was definitely starting to acquire it in the final months that I was there, but there, it's so hard not to be a rager when most everyone you know is.

When I got back from studying abroad, things were different. I still went out a lot, obviously still drank too much on given nights, and did some things that I would rather have skipped, but I definitely started to respect myself more, make some changes, and try. But trying can only get you so far if your surroundings do nothing to help. << Friends, I do not mean, in any way, that you prevented my growth. Spiritual growth is something that others can only assist you in, in the end, it all comes down to the person and their actively working to become that way. I love you all, miss you, and know we will have more good times in the future. Perhaps just a little more tasteful.. :) >>

My life and my mentality have changed so drastically since I left Chico, and all those former feelings of depression, confusion, anxiety, and fear that I had when I first graduated and left are completely gone. I feel so much more in touch with myself and the world, and that is incredible. And that is why I can honestly say that graduating from college and moving away from and out of Chico has been the best thing to happen to me yet. (Perhaps it also has something to do with following my heart and pursuing my dreams though? Something I highly suggest everyone do, no matter how scary and impossible they might seem!)

I know there are many who find this type of spirituality, self-awareness, self-love, and so on and so forth while they are in Chico. I mean, let's face it, Chico is a great hippie place. It's a great place to connect with nature, become one with the world, and really explore new things, but for me, being forced to leave was the best thing God could have done for me. I fully support "to each his own," and know that all I'm saying doesn't apply to every single person there (remember, no blanket statements here:), but for myself, and many that I know, to escape it and really discover myself, soberly, separately, has been such a blessing. I will always love Chico and thank it and the people there for those times, but I will forever be grateful that college wasn't more years than it was for me. :)

And those are today, and many of my recent days' thoughts!

Love yourself, love your neighbors, and especially..love OUR EARTH! <3 

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Living Life Fully Alive, Better to Really Thrive

What an amazing life it has been with the changing in the weather! I didn't realize how much different life would be when the winter weather had passed, maybe because I had been living in L.A. where it rarely ever passes, but we are officially in spring/summer, and Sevilla is ALIVE!

It all started with Semana Santa at the end of March (Holy Week). The weather was still not-so-hot, but that week kind of kicks off the start of all the festivities in Sevilla -- the time of year you surely don't want to miss if you're looking for a highly-cultural experience. I decided to leave Sevilla for Semana Santa, since I'd experienced it back in 2010, been overwhelmed, not enjoyed the city itself as much, and wanted to escape to somewhere new! (Travel posts about where I went soon to come!)

But here is a sneak peek :)



After Semana Santa, we had one regular week of classes, but then, a good friend of mine came with her friend to visit for the weekend, so it wasn't really a "normal week" at all! Especially since there was an alternative thinking festival in Sevilla that weekend, and it brought me exactly what I needed -- some time to be around a certain type of people, mentality, openness, and form of expression that I had grown accustomed to back home, some yoga and meditation in nature, and some bomb vegetarian food! It was a really wonderful reset, and it fell on the first days of real spring weather we had, so it really set the tone and set up my mentality for the coming days, weeks, and moments!



And then! The next week, was the Comenius Project at our high school. This project includes students from bilingual programs in high schools in Poland, Slovakia, Slovenia, Italy, Spain, and I think one other country. The students and some teachers come together for a week in a one of the countres to exchange language, culture, and food! It is the coolest thing, and I was so blessed that my time at the school happened right when the other students would be having their fifth meeting, and be coming to Sevilla. I was even luckier that I got to tag along and help out with the field trips!

Monday of that week (two weeks ago) was a normal school day, but on Tuesday, I went with them to see the Royal Alcazar (palace/gardens/overall amazing, incredible place in Sevilla, and a must-see if you come [travel post/review about it to come]), the Cathedral (another must-see/post to come soon), and the Ghiralda (same as the previously mentioned two items). It was so cool to get to see these high points of Sevilla, and experience them with a big mashup of cultures.



Wednesday was probably the highlight for me, because it included an afternoon at the beach (hehe). We started out by going to a wine cellar in a village outside Sevilla, and we got to taste some brandy that is over 50-years old! Then we took them all to Donana National Park, which is one of the biggest natural parks in Spain, and one of the best bird watching places in the world, and spent a bit of time there. We didn't really get to go into the park too deeply because of time, but we walked through it a little bit, and it's somewhere I plan to return to again soon! Next, we went to Matalascanas. It's a beach town that is built on the coast, with the dunes of Donana running along the other side of it. It's a place where many people from Sevilla have second homes, and go when the weather permits. We got lucky that it wasn't quite prime weather to go, and also that we were there during the week, so it was essentially just us. Being able to play in the sand and the sea equates a highlight of a lifetime for me, and I couldn't get enough! It was glorious!



After the beach, we took the group to El Rocio, a small, western town near Matalascanas. This place has no pavement, no parking stalls, in front of everything they just have the western wooden posts for people to tie their horses to! It's such a cool place to see, and really felt like I was back in the western days! It's a place where each year people make a pilgrimage with horses, carriages, etc, for however long it takes them from where they start, to come and see the Virgen they have in their church. They come and make requests for bounty in the coming year, and bring her their requests. The Virgen wasn't there when we were, but the church and the scenery were breathtaking!



The project wrapped up on Thursday at the school, with a big performance by a variety of the students. Some of them (one girl and guy in particular) performed the flamenco, she sang songs like an angel some typical flamenco/Sevillana songs, other students performed the Sevillana (similar to flamenco, but also completely different, and the typical dance done during the Feria here in Sevilla), there was a group from another school in Mairena that performed on drums, and a variety of other things. It was such a blast, and at the end of it, the group that had been playing the flamenco instruments continued to play, and everyone was up and dancing in a circle -- I even got dragged in by one of the high schoolers at one point to practice the Sevillana.







And when the performance part of the day was over, we had a HUGE spread of homemade, typical Spanish dishes, and of course, a paella!



So, life has basically been like one big vacation lately, and this past week was no exception to that!

Oh my, how could I forget that following this week of wonder, I went up to Bilbao to visit my friends, celebrate a birthday, and reconnect with the place where my love affair really started!? Wow! Now that I am writing this all out, I really don't feel so badly that it's been so long since I blogged, and I feel so, so, soooo blessed! What an incredible path I've been traveling! So much goodness, laughter, light, and love! Gah! I'm gushing now.. ^_^

But yeah, so following all that, I went up to Bilbao and had a great time with my old friends. It was so nice to rekindle the friendships and reignite the connections! And laugh A LOT. :)


Now this week was another really special week here. Aside from Semana Santa, the other massive week that happens in Spain, that happens best in Sevilla, is the Feria de Abril (feria = fair). People come from all over, especially all over Spain, to partake in Sevilla's Feria de Abril, and it's the feria that kicks off five months of feria's taking place all over Spain. It's the biggest and it's the most well-known of them all. And after going and experiencing it, I understand why. (I will put up a post specifically about feria soon!) But in short, it is an eight day fair that involves heavy drinking, flamenco dresses, and non-stop dancing of the Sevillana. Oh, and good food, always, always good food!


So that has pretty much been my life for the last month, and it wrapped up with yesterday, having a completely new beach experience -- I went with the phys ed teacher from the high school, who has become a friend of mine, and we took his two bikes back to Matalascanas and rode on the beach! It was so packed with people yesterday since the weather is now beachy, but the trick is to bike past all of it. We ended up alone on the beach, able to just bike for as long as we wanted. The whole way is 33km, and we did about seven or eight each way, but just going two or three you end up apart from all the people.

It was a real adventure too! I have never biked on the beach before, and I could have expected it would be hard to bike in the sand, but man, some parts of it were pretty killer! Not to mention that there were inlets all over the beach, so we kept having to pick up the bikes and trek through the water, sometimes up to our hips, in order to continue on. It was really amazing though, and a really great way to, instead of getting frustrated and annoyed that we kept having to stop and carry the bikes, remember to adapt to nature, respect her, and a great way to remember that she is so strong and Mother Earth is in charge! It was a great way to feel alive too, to try and charge through some of the water, just to find out if we could make it by or not!

At one point, my friend decided to stop, but said I should go on if I wanted. I felt inside me that I wanted to, and have learned to just listen to my heart, so I went on for about another mile, and then stopped and took a nice swim in my skin in the sea. That's one of the things I love so much about Spain, even if I was around other people, swimming nude in the ocean is completely accepted here! It's great! And, to top it off, I looked to the sky, and on one side of me there was the moon, with the sun on the other side. We made a perfect triangle, and it was a perfect moment of realignment. I haven't ever felt so free as I did in that moment to just be one with the sea and just simple be. Grateful doesn't even begin to cover it! :)



Today's Thoughts: You know, it's really remarkable what connecting with the earth does for your soul. To stand there and speak to her, thank her, ask her salty waters to remove any impurities in you, and leave behind just pure, good, love and light, it's an amazing thing. "Ask and you shall receive." Try to spend some time with nature today, and if you can, everyday! Even if it means sitting next to a tree than man has planted, just to share the air with something else that's alive and thriving is a beautiful thing. We are all one, we are all connected, love one another, and you too shall feel the goodness and warmth!


I love you all -- those of you who I've met and loved, you will always be a part of me. Those of you I've met and we haven't really loved each other, you'll always be a part of me too, and I respect you, cherish you, and can only wish you the best. Those of you I do not know, I love you, possibly the most of all. It is your vibrations on this earth that impact my life in unseen ways, and I can only think well of you, because this life is so lovely. I hope nothing but the best for everyone! 

Live a life that makes you happy, live a life that you love, there's no time or reason for anything else! 
<3 :)

Friday, April 19, 2013

The Battle Field is Blazing... Within.

It's a bit of a conflict I'm feeling today with what I am doing with my life -- on the one hand, I am living my dreams, making my own reality, sharing myself with people, loving, living, and taking advantage of each and every moment of this beautiful life I've been gifted. It's wonderful, it's incredible. I'm doing, seeing, being, and living in a way that many people only dream of, or are too scared to live, think they don't deserve, or don't think they can have. I feel blessed every single day of my life, say thanks to God many times a day, and am living in a perpetual state of happiness (aside from those human moments where less pleasurable emotions surface and momentarily take hold). I feel like I am living the way we were intended to live -- free, roaming, wandering, wild, curious, and not by the book. And because I feel this way, I know my vibrations and frequencies have a greater impact, a better impact, and just generally are projected in a more positive way than they would be if I was working 40 hours a week from a cubicle. So, because of all this, I feel like I am doing my duty to the earth by living the life I want and making it my own instead of theirs. I consider that because I am doing this, I can reach my full potential, do what I am intended to do, and I am not harming the energy of the Universe by suppressing my dreams and letting them remain as just that.

But, on the other hand, I see what is going on back in the country I am physically from, and I cry because I feel like I am off living this lovely life of adventure, and not doing my duty to my homeland by being there to try and impact and awaken those at home who are rapidly approaching a government-induced death, illness, or things of the like. I had a moment this morning where I really thought, "What am I doing here? I need to go home right now! I need to be there, I have to help my family, my friends, the souls there who are perishing without even realizing it! There's so much work to be done there, a horrible fate is quickly coming, and I'm just over here traveling around and loving all the time. I must return home at once and become more involved, do more, be more, help more!" Of course the Ego makes me think that I am important enough that simply by going home and trying to work on things there it will help a lot, but you know what, it's the I Am that says YOU ARE. You Are valuable enough, your impact great enough, and every single soul counts so much! And because I think and feel this way, it makes it really hard for me to know that I am just over here, living my dreams, and not helping to try and save the land I love and the people in it.

Do you see now why I am conflicted? (Do you have a similar conflict? I'd love to hear about it and share in this human moment with you -- comment below!)

Although, in writing this just now, as usually happens, I have realized something greater that I had not considered before (thank you blog for serving as a self-therapist once more) -- there are no borders, there are no countries, we are not from one country, we are children of the EARTH. I am an Earthling, not an American! We are all connected through natural energy that seeps out of us and into the Universe, and because we are all one, it would be crushing the Universe for me to not live my dreams. By me living the life I love, I am happy and I put out that frequency into the world. It has affects I can't begin to understand or know, and if I were to be living an unsatisfactory life, I would be putting out negative frequencies that would harm instead of help. I would be adding to the problem.

So I guess that by me being here and trying to repost things, ignite the fire in others, share things I think are critical for us to know and consider, and by living a life that causes me to project love and light on the world, I am doing what I can. Of course there is so much more to be done, and I intend to take it to the next level, but baby steps.. :) It is still really hard to know that there are really awful things brewing back home though and that so many people I care about are there to suffer, whether realized or not. (Please friends, souls, everyone, look into what you can do, what's going on, and come together peacefully to take back our country!)

Remember: You are matter, and YOU MATTER! Your impact goes far beyond the distance we can see, so please, send out thanks, blessings, love, and light as much as possible (aka all the time:)! You're lovely, I love you, shine on!