This Stuff is Really Working!!!

You guys, I'm freaking out right now!!! You know the 5 Minute Meditations I have been doing the last few weeks? Well, THAT STUFF WORKS! And REALLY fast!! (Reference to "Bad Teacher," anyone? Anyone?) I cannot believe how awesome it is to witness all of this happening, and know exactly the source of the changes and greatness that I'm seeing before me and feeling inside! It's like a great mystery of great life has been uncovered!

So, if you're not up-to-date on what I'm talking about, go ahead and click on over to here, here, or here, and you can learn a little about these 5 Minute Medi's I'm doing. In short, I meditate for 5 minutes a day, focusing all my thoughts and energy on sending love to my students, and another 5 minutes, focusing it all on gratitude. And seriously, the changes in and around me have been too amazing not to comment on!

In the last update post I wrote, I mentioned that I didn't think they were really working, because I saw a group of the guys from the most difficult class, and they just laughed out loud, a lot, because of the way I was dressed, and how I had my hair. I figured the meditations weren't really having the influence I'd hoped or expected, but was determined not to give up. Instead, I cranked it up! SO MUCH MORE LOVE! Muahaha! And yet, I continued not to have class with the groups I'd been focusing most of my love on. It was so strange! Kind of like a backwards result, or like all the love I was sending out was just coming back to me and God was showing His grace (keeping me out of the class). But that could only last so long, and on Monday, I realized I was going to "face them" two days in a row, and so I have.

On Tuesday I finally had class with one of the groups, after about four weeks without seeing them (in the classroom). I tried to supress and deny all old thoughts I had about them, and focus on the fact it was, somehow, magically, going to be great. And while I was really optimistic about it, my insides were still a little reluctant to walk into the room.

I used my walk to work as a motivational time for myself, and gave thanks for the opportunity to face them. After all, what good were these meditations if I didn't ever see the students in the classroom? Could I really say I was trying to make it better, if I fist pumped every time I was told I didn't have class with them? Not even! So I decided I would take advantage of the class to crank it up even more, and make it an opportunity to look into their faces, and speak love straight into their souls. And I did!

When I walked into the room, I made eye contact with as many of them as I could, smiled, said hello, and went to my place in the front of the class. The class went really well, actually, and one of the boys who has always been sending out great amounts of "dark energy", and been one of the biggest sources of hardship with this group, was actually looking at me the entire hour with a sort of admiring look on his face. I couldn't believe it! (Though, I did start to think, maybe I've been sending too much love to him, and he's starting to feel it in a romantic way. Haha) And in the moments when the class started to feel out of control, the moments where before I'd usually slip into a place of thinking, "Can I please get out of here!?", I instead looked from one face to the next, focused on it, and said, "I love you." I went around the room at least four times that hour repeating this, and when I started to feel blown away by their lack of respect, I just remembered all the love I've been sending them, and couldn't feel anything but sympathy and kindness towards them. It was amazing.

The next day I also had class with them. This time, in one of the worst possible hours I have in my entire schedule. They do not respect the teacher at all, and each hour is an endless stream of talking, joking, and acting their age in a time when it's not appropriate to do so. This was the Big Kahuna, and I was ready for it! (Well, mostly.)

The moment I walked into the class, this same boy who used to look at us with looks of loathing, but had been admiring me the day before, said, "Allison, you look very pretty today," in perfect English.

(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) 

I WAS FREAKING OUT! It was so, so, so hard for me to try and contain my laughter, smiles, and shocked expression. Is this really happening? Am I seriously witnessing this right now?? Is this really the result I'm getting from these meditation?? AMAZING! Hahahaha.

I still can't believe how fast this stuff has worked, nor how it's worked! I knew the power of the mind was impressive, and that we can change everything around us with our thoughts, but to actually be consciously practicing it, seeing it, feeling it, observing it, and know exactly why it's happening, it's incredible. I cannot stress enough how important and life-changing this practice is. Seriously. Just do it.

And even though they were just as disrespectful to the teacher as they usually are, our interactions (theirs and mine) were filled with smiles, laughs, and warm feelings. Actually, it goes even further than that... the teacher would be speaking, they wouldn't really be listening, but then when I was asked to explain something, somehow they kind of all slipped into silence. They paid attention, were interacting with me unlike they used to do, and were involved for a moment. I have goosebumps all over just writing this, because really, it's so beautiful. It's so amazing what love can do. This practice has changed my entire life, and more importantly, is changing these kids' lives!

The whole hour was such an incredible insight into the affects these meditations are having. Instead of glaring at them, I smiled at them with kindness and understanding, instead of thinking about how unbelievably rude and/or spoiled they are, I thought about how much I love them and long for their awakening, and instead of leaving the classroom ready to hit walls, run home, strip off my clothes and do some yoga to calm down (which I've had to do before), I walked out smiling and feeling light, excited for the next time we have class.

This is truly amazing, I am so grateful for this practice.

Having a hard time? Try meditating love on it five minutes a day.
Feeling a lack of anything? Try meditating on feelings gratitude for what you have for five minutes a day.
You cannot practice this and not see positive results. It works, it's real. This is no hocus pocus. This is your life, and you deserve to love it and feel like you're thriving. Make it happen!

I love you

<3

5 Minute Meditations

I started doing 5 Minute Meditations as part of my Daily Practice a week and a half ago, and wanted to write a little update about how they're manifesting, because truly, it's been quite a crazy result. If you aren't sure what I'm talking about, you can check out more information here or here, and if you're just tuning in now, I'll fill you in really quickly.

Each day, I sit down, set a timer for 5 minutes and 30 seconds, and meditate. I do one meditation centering my mind and feelings around love, which I send to my students and coworkers, and then I do another 5 Minute Meditation of Gratitude. The gratitude one is simply me praying profuse thanks to God for whatever comes to mind. Sometimes I sing it, sometimes I say it as poetry, sometimes if I'm having a hard time mustering anything specific, I simply say, "I am so grateful," or "I love you," over-and-over again. The intention here, is to practice what I've believed for many years now: that the power of the mind is greater than anything else we've been given, and thoughts can change everything. So, I'm putting it to the test, to see what can/will happen if I meditate love and gratitude for five minutes apiece. And I've gotta be honest, the results so far have been a huge surprise!

In the high school, I have two groups that are particularly difficult to try and teach/interact with, and another couple that have some shining students in their midst. But when I say shining, I don't mean that their light is so bright and beautiful. Instead, it's the shining look of f-you they wear on their faces, and their light is burning quite bright with arrogance and cockiness. For that, it can be difficult to tap into the love I know is there inside.

Some days, it's really hard to believe I can find the love in me that deserves to be sent to them. And believe me, it does deserve to be sent. I am a firm believer in that those who are the hardest to love, are the ones that need it most. Also, since I have been that age before, though it may have been a decade ago, it all still feels fresh enough for me to understand that they are just lost, confused, and overly-influenced by media and the fairly close-minded society that surrounds them. So how can I really hold it against them? They're just living from a place that is not their true essence, and will hopefully awaken someday.

I don't really have a strict method for doing the 5 Minute Meditations. They might be more effective if I did them at the same time, in the same sequence, every day, but that's not really how I live my life, so it's not really how they've happened. I try to always do the 5 Minute Meditation of Love in the morning, and it's even better if done before the high school has started. I think that once they are in school (a place they seem to hate) and surrounded by their peers, their energy and attitude kicks up a couple notches, and it's harder for me to access the unlimited reserve of love that's within me. Especially since I live so close to the school, I don't doubt that their energy and mine can too-easily penetrate one another's from this distance. (And now I'm actually really curious to know what the other teachers observe/feel when they're with the group I'm meditation love towards at that moment. Hmm... would be pretty cool to find out!)

As for the 5 Minute Meditation of Gratitude, sometimes I do it before the Love one, to get me in a great mental state, sometimes after, sometimes at night, and sometimes not at all, because I've spent most of my day in moments of over-flowing gratitude, and feel it's been done in its own way. But I think the gratitude one is even more important than the love one, because when you are living from a place of gratitude, you appreciate all the things that are good in your life, which causes more to come about, and when you are noticing all the beauty around you, it's hard not to be full of love.

What I've observed so far is this:

• I am much happier, and when I see students who have that "I am so cool and don't care about you or anything because I'm hot" look on their face, it's easier to not tense up inside, because I just think about my practice. 
• For example: Just yesterday, I saw a group of boys from the most draining group, and some of the cockiest, I'm-the-cool-est, everyone else is ugly, lame and stupid-est ones, and they started laughing at me, because I had my hair in a ponytail on top of my head, like I always do when I wear a ponytail, and was sporting a Pocahontas scrunchy I've had since I was a child, purple tights, combat boots with striped socks pulled up to my mid-calf, a black dress, and a bright blue polyester coat I got at a second-hand shop in Brussels, that is also, literally, from the 80's. (I have spent a lot of time getting laughed at, judged, and criticized by Jr. high/high schoolers this year.) And yeah, at first, when I saw them, my instinct was to put on my attitude/tough, I'm-the-boss face (we tend to match that which we see), drop my smile, and not engage them. But instead of glaring at them, I just decided to keep my smile on, and walk by. (Not smiling directly at them probably wasn't the best way to handle it, but I didn't want to entangle my energy with theirs. I was in a great mood!) But after I'd walked by and been thoroughly laughed at, I processed the, "Are you kidding me, are you seriously that rude and insecure you little sh--," emotions, I just thought about the love I've been sending them, and while I felt a little defeated that it clearly doesn't seem to be working (I'd expect we'd share some smiles, not judgment), I felt better, knowing that at least my emotional/mental/energetic state is in a positive place. And, I even felt a little sympathetic for the kid, because I know he's just going through a tough age, and probably, will have a bit of a tough life, because he is really good-looking, and that usually means high levels of insecurity and self-imposed expectations for yourself and others, as well, his actions just mean he is not happy with himself or his life. So it became hard to be pissed at them for all the trouble they cause us teachers, and easier to just be glad that I'm a happy, loving, smiling person. And that's the whole point with these things anyways: To elevate and take your State of Being to such a good place, that the things that bothered you before, start to lose their grip, till they die off completely.
• Everything in my life seems to be falling into better alignment. The books I'm reading, the quotes I see, the messages that I get from everything around me, they all are starting to tell me the same things, on the same days, and usually, within short periods of time from one another.
• Because I'm focusing "so much" energy on love and gratitude, even when I enter a class that's not behaving so well, I care a lot less, because I'm in such a great mood, I don't care that their hormones are trying to run interference on my day, and then the class actually ends up going a lot better than I would have expected/it would have a couple weeks ago. (Related to the first bullet.)
• I haven't had any classes with a couple of the groups I try to focus most of my love on. It's incredible. I thought I was going to be softening them up, preparing myself energetically, and enter the classes to discover that, "Wow! All of a sudden, we're great together!" but instead, I just haven't entered with them. The teacher has a quiz, the class is on a field trip, the teacher needs to switch hours, they've got more field trips, any number of things have been happening to "keep me" from having class with them. This whole time, I've been trying to send love and gratitude out, and God just keeps the love coming back around, and giving me more to be grateful for. Who knew!

So, in short, I highly recommend taking up this practice if you have any sort of struggle in your life. It can be directed at anything, not just particular people. Your job, your town, any part of your circumstance can benefit and improve simply from sitting down, setting a timer, and Being silent or singing, focusing all your energy and thoughts on love and gratitude. Even if you feel full of detest for whatever it is, this will help! You know the saying, "Fake it till you make it"? Well, that's what we're doing here! And it works! And truly, you'll be amazed to see and feel how much love is locked up inside of you. Once you start to release it, it won't be able to stop. So let's break down those dams, and let the love flow!

Write me if you need any help, you have any questions, or you just want to say hi. I'm going to try and figure out how to use the camera on my computer so I can make some guided meditation videos, and then I'll share the links here. :) I hope you have an amazing day, night, afternoon, whatever, wherever, and smile and shine through everything that's going on!

I love you, I'm happy to exist with you!

Blessings, Love, Light & Wonder,

-Allison <3

Well That Was Fast!

Ok, so I've just gotta take a moment here to give some major props to God, the power of love, the power of thought and manifestation, all good forces and wonder in the world, and maybe brag a little bit...

I've been doing the 5 Minute Meditations of Love & Gratitude (part of My Modified Daily Practice) for only three days now, but already, I'm reaping rewards and seeing the results! And while they're not exactly manifesting in the ways I'd imagined, they're affect is undeniable and glaringly obvious.

Here I talked about the whole 5 Minute Meditation idea, where it came from, and why I'm doing them, so I won't get into in this one. I'm short on time, I've already said it, and this post is mostly just to update you all on the progress and process, and tell you of the wild ways this is already working in my life. I will however do a quick recap on what it means...

The 5 Minute Meditations are a time when I sit and meditate for five minutes, with a timer, and concentrate fully on Love, then reset the timer, and concentrate fully on Gratitude. The Love one is love I direct to my students, coworkers, anyone that is involved in my workplace, and especially directed at the groups that are more "difficult". The Gratitude one is directed to God, and it's simply me running through things I'm grateful for, and speaking thanks to Him. It's always a bit different, and today to switch it up, I said it all in my head as a poem. I loved it. (And have decided to do the 5 Minute Meditation of Gratitude before the Love one, because when we are in a state of thanks, it makes love come more easily and naturally. So I figure my love will be even better if it's first charged with gratitude.:)

Anyways, like I said, this morning was only the third time I've done them, and just now, I read a text from the teacher I'm supposed to work with tomorrow, telling me the group we have at the first hour (8:15, the dreaded early hour) is on a field trip and won't be there, so I don't need to show up that early. But not just that, the group we should have in the fifth hour (12:14-13:45) is going to be taking a quiz that will take up most of the class, so there's no point in me going to that either! SAY WHAT!?! I'm freakin' out!

I freak out, because the second group I'm supposed to be with tomorrow is easily the most difficult group to deal with on an energetic level. So the fact I've been sitting in silence and speaking love into their souls the last few days, and now won't even see them, is strangely awesome, not a result I would have expected, and also, perhaps a sign I'm not quite ready for all that.

It's possible that God is giving me this extra time off, to deepen and continue this practice, so when I am with them next I have had more than just a few days under my belt. A lot can change and happen in three days, but five months of hardships can't be undone in just 18 minutes (in this particular case). So, thank You, God, for this little break and chance to keep up with it before I step into the ring again (something I shouldn't even say, because simply making a comment like that demonstrates I'm considering it battle, which will only cause it to be/remain the same). And thank you, Love, for coming back around to me!

I knew that this probably wouldn't change their behavior so much, but as Captain Jack Sparrow said, "The problem isn't the problem. The problem is how your attitude about the problem." So, I've been sending deep love to all of their conflicted teen souls, and the whole time, it's been getting ready to come back around to me and give me an unexpected day off work! Amazing!

Thank you, All There Is 

<3

Update on 11/03/2015:

I just got home to read some messages from another teacher I'm meant to have two hours with tomorrow, and she forgot I was supposed to be with her, and has an exam in the classes, so I don't start at 8:15, but instead at 12:45. Seriously...this is unreal. Meditate Love onto anything that's giving you a hard time, it cannot persist if you do. That I swear!

Blessings, Love, Light & Wonder to all you magical Beings out there,

I adore you, I cherish you, I love you

-Allison :)

I Finally Know Why I'm Here

I am here because it's not where I would choose to be. I am here because where I work isn't where I would choose to work. I am here because so much of what takes up and requires most of my time and energy isn't what I would choose to dedicate it to. I am here, because so much of my life right now isn't what I want. And if none of that makes any sense, and you're wondering why on Earth I'm overflowing with gratitude right now in spite of having just said that the town in which I live isn't where I want to live, or the work I'm doing isn't the work I want to be doing, and you're wondering how in heck I'm thanking God profusely for it all in this moment, then you have stepped into my shoes and are sharing the same train of thought that was running round in my head for the last months, but no longer is. No longer is, as of about three minutes ago.

In previous posts and conversations I've mentioned that in one of my jobs I have some particularly hard groups, and the classes don't go so well. They've been torturous in some ways, and have taken a major toll on my energy, my mental health, and my overall state of Being. This has caused a ripple effect, and instead of living in a state of gratitude, I started to live in a state of dread. Getting out of bed in the morning was nearly impossible, and on most occasions, I just wanted to run away. I'd imagine just walking off and never looking back, and feel so deeply inside of me that life would be much happier that way. My face must have portrayed it, and my actions certainly did. I just didn't care about anything I was doing, and was certain I was just going through the motions, living entirely without passion or purpose. I guess I could say I was a bit depressed, and I know I could say I was bitter, angry, and disgusted with everything around me, but worse, in me.

All the while I've known and believed in the power of thought, and figured I could make some drastic changes if I simply applied my mental energy to thinking well of these groups or students, but haven't been strong enough to muster the energy to do it. I didn't know where to start, because, to be honest, the negative and adverse emotions/thoughts/feelings I had towards them were too strong and constant, and well, I just didn't want to. Satan had me strung up, and he wasn't about to let me off that easy. When facing this adversity a couple times a week, each week, there isn't much time in between battles to recover, gear up, get strong, and be loving when entering the next. It's a perpetual cycle, that while there are lag moments, it never really stops. Kind of like the washing machine. But finally, a break came! I've had some time and I have finally implemented a practice I decided I wanted to take on in order to test the power of the mind, and see some positive changes occur: 5 minutes a day of meditating love on these students and groups. Ya know, just to see what would happen..

Just moments before I started this post, I finished my first Five Minute Meditation, and moments before that, I decided to one-up it, and follow the Five Minutes Meditation of Love, with five minutes of meditating on thoughts/feelings of gratitude. So I set a timer for 6 minutes, allowing myself one extra minute to settle in, do an introduction, and begin; and stopped myself when I heard it buzzing. Then, I said some closing comments (everything done mentally), opened my eyes, and restarted the timer, this time shifting into Thankful Mode.

In just those 12 minutes, my entire life and perspective on my situation changed.

The love that I felt when picturing my students' faces was pure, was real, and was not a love I knew I could project on them considering how our time spent together goes. It overcame all the dark energy I felt before, and there was no doubt in my mind that I love them. I love them, because God fills me with love, and His Love is unconditional (a love I pray to have as best I can as a human). I invited the whole high school into my heart, and told it I was enveloping it in my love -- God's Love. I imagined certain groups, certain students, and spoke powerful amounts of love, understanding, and acceptance into them. It was a real love, and now that I've felt it and sent it to them, I know I can make it happen when I look into their eyes our next hour. And then, just like that, while I was still heating up, *buzz, buzz, buzz,* time to stop. And I did.

In the book I recently read, Choose Yourself, by James Altucher, he says that when we're working on something, it's good to stop when we're really excited about it (he's talking about writing a book, but it can apply to anything). He thinks that if we stop what we're doing while we're just starting to get really psyched up about it, it'll make it easier for us to return to it the next day. So, I'm applying this principle to these meditations, even though I didn't want to stop.

It would have been so easy for me to keep going. Love is an endless fountain and flow, so is our energy, so once it gets going and flowing, wow, it's really hard to stop it! But I want to be looking forward to the next Five Minute Meditation, and go straight to my mat excitedly, so I didn't let myself keep going for more than 30 seconds after the timer went off. Then I shifted gears.

I firmly believe, that if we give thanks for the good things in our life we will attract more of them. I also firmly believe, that we can trick ourselves into loving something we don't really love if we give thanks for it. What it is doesn't necessarily change, but our State of Being/Thinking/Feeling does, and well, that actually does change everything else that comes with it. So, during my Five Minute Meditation of Gratitude, I focused a lot of my thanks on this place I'm in, Écija, and my job.

Écija is a small town in Andalucía, an hour from Sevilla. It's a beautiful, historic town, and there are a lot of good people here, but as I've mentioned before, it's not my place. It and I do not mesh as well as we could, and it was incredibly hard for me to come here, after having spent an amazing year and a half in Sevilla, a city that suits me so well. But I came, and have been trying to love it as much as I can since. Or have I?

I spent a lot of time here not appreciating it, and finding it even harder to love it, because I am still working in a high school, and to leave a city that's been ranked one of the top five cities in the world to visit/live in (Sevilla), well, pretty much any transition is tough. I'd wanted to stay in Sevilla and assist in a primary school, change up the scene a bit, learn a new way of teaching, be around a different age group, and definitely, leave high school. (I mean, can you blame me? How many years do YOU want to spend in high school? My experience was relatively great, but it's still high school, and four years are enough.) But, it's not what God had in mind, and I've spent a lot of my time here questioning why this is what He chose for me instead. I trust God 100%, and know he doesn't make mistakes, but in light of my struggles at work, I just couldn't figure out what it was He had in mind for me this year. Until now.

Just now, during my Five Minute Meditation of Gratitude, God revealed to me why I am here, and I am SO grateful!

It's not because He wants me to change anything here, that's just going to be a ripple effect of my colorful, foreign presence; it's not because He wants to torture me, it's not because He wants me to feel like I'm wasting a year I could be using to volunteer and travel, nor any of the other pessimistic things I've been thinking. Simply put, it's because the largest factors of my daily life (where I live and the work I'm doing) are not what I want. Confusing? It was for me at first too, but let me explain...

He chose this situation for me, to give me a huge opportunity to put into practice and master all the practices, thoughts, and things I've been learning over the last years: Be Here Now, Give Thanks, Love Through Everything, Emit Your Own Frequency, Accept As Is, Be Your Best Self (all the time).

I'm here, because without this situation, I'd be in one that I am in love with, and these practices would flow freely from me, but that's not what really counts. It's easy to live and love in the now, accept and give thanks for what is, and Be My Best Self when things are going my way and what surrounds me fills me with love. What's not easy, is to apply all of this, to do all of this, to Be all of this, when the largest targets of time and energy are in contrast to what I want. (This applies to all of us.:)

He brought me here, to give me the chance to really practice what I preach, and watch what happens. He's giving me a chance to take a break from the fairly easy life I've had, and struggle with some stuff a bit. Wrestle with some alligators and figure out how to smile and give thanks the whole time I'm doing it! I've spent so long knowing all these things, and freely, easily practicing them while I travel, meet new people, do this, or do that, but those are all things that light my fire, they're my passions. It's important to apply these practices and Be my best self in these moments, but it comes naturally. Now, here, in this place, in these situations, it does not come naturally in the least, and that's why He's brought me here: to do it anyways, or at least, figure out and practice how to do it anyways.

Now, when I say thanks to Him for bringing me here, for this being my life and circumstance, it's not something I'm saying simply hoping to make it come true. I'm not just saying it because I believe I can trick myself into feeling it, or expect it to magically change something around me. No. Now when I give thanks for Him bringing me here, I can say it with passion, because I finally know why I'm here! It has been revealed, and it's awesome! It's just another great chance in life to improve myself, and set myself up for an even brighter future!

I can't wait to keep up with this practice, and keep you guys informed of the results I'm seeing and feeling from it. This is going to be an amazing way to finish out my time here in Spain, and an incredible way to set myself up for an even more wondrous pattern than I expected before!

I hope that if you're facing adverse circumstances, you can perhaps embark on this practice and journey with me. We can support each other, tell each other how we're feeling, and keep each other mindfully living. On those days we don't feel like meditating anything beautiful, we can remind each other of how beneficial this practice is, and how important it is to keep up with it. Let's be here for one another, and be amazed by the results we see from it! Get in touch with me anytime you need, I'm here for you, I love you.

I send you all my love and gratitude, and wish you a very happy Sunday!

Blessings, Love, Light & Wonder,

Allison :)

--> EgoActivation

In my last post, an update about My Deactivation Adventure, I mentioned I wasn't sure if I was becoming slightly more egotistical, but didn't want to elaborate too much on it in the moment. It wasn't the point of the post. But now I will, because I'm finding this process and potential realization very interesting.

Usually, on Facebook I am sharing A LOT of love. I comment nice, uplifting, encouraging things that are dripped in love, and I am sharing inspirational quotes, stories, messages, and images. A lot of my purpose and intention with the site is to use it as a platform to connect to others in an inspiring and beautiful way. Of course it plays a role in how I feel about myself, which is why I deactivated it and don't particularly care for it, but on the other hand, I am realizing how uplifting it also is. Because to give and share so much goodness from a pure place, results in the giver feeling extra great. Whatever we give, we also receive, so by eliminating this source of Goodness Giving, I've also taken it away from myself. And as a result, without this exchange of inspiration happening, I am focusing a lot more on myself.

All that energy and focus that was going to others and building them up, is now internalized, but in a different and not-so-pure way. Which, while overall it is having some positive affects, is also potentially having some negative ones in regards to Ego Boosting and Self-Centeredness. A lot more of my activity is directed at Me and done for myself instead of others, and there's just a lot of Me going on in general.

It's good to take time for ourselves, and it's important to focus on ourselves sometimes, but I think that too much of it can become a bad thing. I don't think I've necessarily hit this point of it being a bad thing, but the combination of having taken away my largest audience to indulge in exchanges of love and kindness with, the place where I have the highest concentration of conscious friends, and facing so many closed or unconscious/unaware adolescent/adult minds each day, and I kinda feel like I shut down the love factory a little bit. Of course, being physically sick as well wasn't probably helping the situation, and the more my health improves, the more my mind improves, the more my life improves, etc, but still, to feel like I'm hopping up on my high horse hasn't been very concerting.

This is all really just an introduction to what's going on, because it's something I've only just picked up on and began to observe. So we'll have to see where it goes in the next 4-5 days of deactivation, but these are my initial observations and assessments. However, last night I finally went to the Ateneo Culture Center here in Écija, and met some lovely people who are definitely living and thinking outside the box (just what I needed!), which is sure to change the course of everything all over again! (In the ways I really like/love:) Whatever happens, I'll keep you updated! ^_^

Have you experienced similar things at any time you took a break from social media, a person, a group, an activity, etc? I'd love to hear how your focus and Being responded to it all. :)

Hope you have a happy Saturday, filled with relaxation, laughter, and love! Life is lovely, give thanks, and take pleasure in everything that happens. :)

Blessings, Love & Light

<3

Don't Be Scared, There's Always Divorce

So I'm reading through this list of "The 50 Things You Don't Want to Regret When You Die," and I got to #24, then I couldn't keep going.

24. Not putting a ring on it. Commitment is a scary thing. What if he or she turns out not to be the right person? Well, that’s what divorce was created for.

Wait, what? Give me a moment to process this for a second.. Ummmm........

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?! 

Wow. It's no wonder that people's morals, aspirations, goals, and self-worth have just gone through the roof in the last couple generations, marriages are such a success, and people place such an amazingly high value on sex and marriage. (Please have picked up on the sarcasm..)

I actually couldn't continue reading the otherwise well-composed list (I can only speak of the items on it up until 24), until I'd written out my emotions and gotten the horribly irritated and semi-boiling water out of my heart. I was so blown away that someone could so simply write-off marriage (quite literally, and no, no pun was intended:), and just say, "Well, that's what divorce was created for." Ugh. Just rewriting it I feel like I'm committing a heinous crime against love; the one thought and thing that pulses through me constantly and gives me a reason to pursue in the ways I do. And I don't want to get tooo dramatic about it, but seriously, that's kind of like saying, "What if you have a pet or a kid and you find out it's not exactly the one you wanted? Well, that's what pounds and orphanages were created for."

Have we really entered into an age where divorce is so common and accepted, and marriage so undervalued and appreciated, that we think it's okay to just take the plunge, "put a ring on it," and find out later if we chose the right one?

As someone who isn't sure she wants to get married, but intends to spend her life with the love of her life, and someone who actually used to think similarly (many years ago I'd convinced myself it was okay to be scared to marry, but to do it anyways, because yeah, you could always get a divorce. But I also was still so immature that I thought it would be "fun" to "marry a few times"), I find myself so bothered by this "Thing You Don't Want to Regret When You Die." I'm not sure if it's because, as of my last relationship, I have experienced great, soulful, true, deep love, or if it's just part of being an awake, conscious, and somewhat-traditional person, who is deeply spiritual, as well as religious, but I cannot find it in me to accept this item on the list.

I believe that marriage is a special, sacred thing. It's possibly the biggest ceremony you will ever have in your honor/participate in, and what you do when you marry someone is probably the biggest gesture of trust, love, and devotion you could ever make as a human. And yes, commitment is a scary thing, but that's why you follow your heart, and marry the one whose soul you know belongs with yours, so you know that it's right, that he or she is the one, and that you could, would, and will spend the rest of your life with them, without ever wanting anything else.

I would so much rather die without ever having been married, than have gotten married simply so I wouldn't be on my death bed wishing it's an experience I could watch replay in My Life Movie as I take my last breath. I would SO much rather wait my entire life to find my one and only, my twin flame, my kindred spirit above all the rest, and the other whole to my whole, and marry that person and make it last a lifetime, than just try out some different husbands over the years to spare myself the possible regret later in life of never having done it. I mean, it's not exactly like we're talking about a pair of jeans here.

With jeans it's easy. You can try them on, buy them, and if you get home and realize you don't really like them, it's really no big deal. You just take them back for a full refund and continue your life pain-free. (Unless they were an all-sales-are-final item. But even then you can so easily do something else with them that won't leave any permanent scars or damage other than on your credit card, wallet, or bank balance.) But with another human being -- a human who you've tied yourself to, dedicated yourself to, vowed yourself to, and loved enough to walk all the way down that aisle or to that Elvis -- it's not that simple. Obviously I can't speak from experience, since I've never been married or divorced, but not only am I intelligent/do I have common sense, but I've read and seen plenty about divorce to have gathered a pretty factual idea that it's a bit more complicated than exchanging a pair of jeans that aren't quite right.

There are souls involved. There are emotions involved. There are HEARTS involved. And matters of the heart are never so simple as "just getting a divorce." (Not to mention all the legal papers, fees, documents, and drama you have to deal with.) So while I do think that marriage can be a beautiful thing, a wonderful thing to participate in, gesture to make, and experience to have, I do not, at all, think it is something you should do because you want to get over a fear of commitment. And I especially do not think it's something you should do because divorce exists and was "created for this reason."

Respect the institution of marriage. And respect yourself, your soul, and theirs enough to only deliver those vows once, make them count, give them everything you've got, and make it last. After all, if you have any doubts about saying that "I do," chances are the person in front of you doesn't have the soul yours has been searching for.

Love one another. Love yourselves. Love the earth.

Love,

The Soul

Blessings, Love & Light to all

<3

A Dedication of Love & Light

Very early this morning a beloved soul was lost to its original realm. It's always such a sad thing when a person dies, and it really reminds you how fast it can all change. In an instant, someone who's hand you could hold one day, is gone. Life is a very precious gift we have been granted, and it shouldn't be taken for granted. In light of this, I automatically think about what would happen if one of my best friends died, or if I died. Would there be things left unsaid? Would I have wished I made it more clear how important they were? Of course. So I have decided to write this post as a way to honor the life that was lost, by honoring those that still remain, with words of love, appreciation, and gratitude.

This is for all of my family, my friends, my kindred spirits, and opposing forces. 

It goes out to all those who I have loved, those I still do love, and those I might never be able to love. 

For all those counterparts to my being, and all those negative forces that make me stronger through the fight...

I LOVE YOU. I may not say it enough, I may not have said it ever, and you may not know, feel, see, or believe, but know now, that I love you so very much.

Even those of you who have never been very close to me, your time in my life was by design. I may not figure out or know why until further down the line, or ever, but there are no chance encounters in this life, and I thank you for the brief time you might have spent in mine. I cannot wish you anything but the best, no matter if you've treated me the worst. Be blessed! <3

And then there are those of you who have most certainly made your mark on my life. Those of you who I've been able to call a friend, and share some unforgettable, or completely unmemorable times with. If we've ever shared a laugh, a cry, or a moment at all, you have played a special role in my life, and given me something that many live without -- connection. Thank you so much for being a smile, and to you, all the happiness there is! <3

For those who have transcended the level of friend, and become family, I adore you. We are the family that we chose. We are lucky in life if we love the family we're born into, and given a beautiful opportunity to choose our own while we're here. I can't explain how happy I am we've found each other, and mutually decided, by the power vested in our souls, to spend the rest of our lives linked. It is because of you that I know love, share love, and love love. It is because of you that I am complete. Without you I would feel lost, without knowing why. Without you, my days would hold little meaning, and I would have no one to rely on. I would feel completely and utterly inhuman. You are gems, salt of the earth, the brightest shining stars, and the most glorified of all humans. You are a part of my soul. We are a greater collective being when we are together. The unconditional love that is shared is pure, it's rare, and it's the way we're meant to live. I can cry so easily when I think of you. To know we're so physically apart tears up my insides, but then I remember we're all just a bunch of souls, and then I shed tears of joy to know how special you are and that I am blessed enough to call you mine, and know the love I feel for you is reciprocated. Thank you for giving me a greater purpose, and making my life so much brighter and lighter! <3

And for the family I was born into: I am a lucky one. To have come to a place of such great love for the family that God placed me with, it's rare, it's lovely, and it's so beautiful. Each year of my life that passes makes me appreciate and understand you more. My love only grows, deepens, and becomes more pure towards you as the time passes on. You are all special, freaky, and a little bit off your rockers in your own ways, and I wouldn't change that. We are a crazy family, and I am so glad. What an eclectic group of people. Thank you for always supporting me in all the off-beat decisions that I make, and never trying to make me feel like I can't do what my heart and soul tell me to do. To know that I have the support system I do in you overwhelms me. I am so blessed and grateful for your presence in my life.

I cannot express enough the love I feel for you, humanity. What would we be without other people? We would be such lost souls on earth, trying, searching, needing, seeking that connection, and always finding temporary satisfaction in something, but never for long enough to quench the thirst. Our souls and our purpose is to connect and to love, and I am so grateful to each and every one of you for giving me the chance to fulfill my life's purpose with you.

Your beauty isn't something you can know, because it must be observed from the outside. But trust me when I say, YOU ARE WONDERFUL!

Please, hug as many people as you can, kiss as many as you can, love as many as you can and then some, and never, ever let the people in your life go for long without knowing how important they are to you!

Thank you, Will, for inspiring a generation, and being part of our soul family. I wish I'd been blessed with time to really get to know you, but the soul doesn't need time to know. I'm so excited for you to be able to no longer be bound in the physical world, and instead rocket around as a soul! Now, more than ever, you really are, A Time Traveling Diamond! To a lifetime in another realm<3 

OMFG, Dude, Rave!

Alright, yesterday's post was all serious and enlightening and stuff, so today, I'm taking a different angel..

I just watched the trailer for HARD Summer, and it legitimately made me fall back in love with raving. and remember why I loved it in the first place -- DANCE DANCE DANCE your face off, love everyone around you, and womp TFO. I realize that I am in Europe right now, where the parties literally don't stop till six [seven, eight, nine, whenever] in tha morn', and there are loads of EDM events, BUT that does not mean that Bassnectar, FlyLo, Crystal Castles, SBTRKT, Justice, XXYYXX, 2 Chainz, Azealia Banks, Dillon Francis, Breakbot, Empire of the Sun, and some select others will all be on the same bill.

Ok, yeah, chances are I can get all of them at any given event here, but not a single line up that I've seen for any fest happening this side of the sea this season has the Nectar on it, and let's face it, he's my all-time-bass-baby-everything-anything-whomp-a-doodle-scratch-skirt-whatever-love, so, therefore, #notsatisfied. And YES I just threw down a hashtag in a blog post // am being a total whiny little b-word about all this, in spite of the fact I am living my dreams overseas and whatnot. WHATEVS. A girl is allowed to get like this every once in a while and completely ignore the blessings around. ;)

(PS. If any of you lovely people know of an event that can deliver me that lineup, please pass the name along! Thank you, namaste <3)

America, you crazy, messed up, nutty-but-wonderful place you..enjoy that s---! Carry me there in spirit and send me videos of you wobble-ing out!

This probably is all stemming from the fact that the last two weekends were Coachella weekends, and I had to live through endless posts on all forms of social media about it. (Seriously, especially to my friends that went both weekends...good on you, and I am real jelly.) Also stemming from the fact that Lightning in a Bottle is practically just around the corner, and most of my festi fam is going to be there, and it pretty much changed my life last year, and this year I can't go, and waaahhhh!! Annnddd, I just need to rrrreeeeelaaaxxx and remember that now it's festival season, and my time will come again soon. (But can't at least some of my fam come on out here to get down with me EU-fest-style??)

Now that I've gotten that out of my system (but really, I feel so much better, and this is not webcasm [web-sarcasm]), I will share the trailer with you all that got my yoga pants in a bunch, because, I think it is clever as heck, and if it has the power to make me want to actually go to a rave again, then it's pretty heavy (in my opinion)...

People in the EDM world, try and tell me that's not a really clever and well-done trailer? One of the best I've seen. I like the blend of the dogs representing the artists (especially the beautiful blonde representing Bassnectar, I LOL-ed, like, for real, like, on that one...like), and the showing of the fest itself. Fine job to the editors.

Gah, I'm gushing PLUR all over the place now! I don't know

<< Blerppp..ADD Drift: I think just thinking about raves made me go e-tarded for a second, because instead of actually writing out "I don't know," like a good writing girl should, I wrote "Idk," at first, and then used periods instead of commas. WOW! FACEPALM, shaking my head, and all the rest of those things that have become normal things for us to say thanks to Twitter. >> 

But as I was saying... I don't know why I turned into such an old-raver-fogie-hipster for a while there and was hating on the scene, but now, I am back in love! But, that's also easy to say when I'm not at an event surrounded by people whose eyes are in the back of their heads, I have no room to dance, and the people who made the set times put all the people I really want to see on at the same time. (Another facepalm.) I guess the last four or five times I've gone and left thinking, "I'm over this scene, it's no longer for me, I'm not going to another rave anymore, just camping events that have more aspects than EDM (art, yoga, meditation, sustainability, etc)," weren't enough to really ward me off, because I want to go to a rave again! Ah! Haha. So easily swayed am I! What a perfect specimen of predictability. >.<

But really, that trailer just made me think peace, love, unity, and respect so hard, that I think I need to test myself at a rave once more! (Yay, I'm actually really excited about this, because they are really beautiful and fun places!) And I think the fact that I am now in love with myself in a way I wasn't before will have a huge impact on my level of enjoyment. Because really, to rave, is to be a part of a culture and community where you are accepted as you are, you accept everyone as they are, you don't have to hide yourself, and you can express yourself in a variety of ways, without being, for the most part, judged, AND you are all there for a common love (for some, it's the copious amounts of drugs they can consume and enjoy all the stimuli in the world, for others, the music, and for some, both [among other reasons]). It really is a beautiful place full of freaks and weirdo's, beauty queens and burn outs, and everyone in between. What a glorious parallel Universe it is!

And now, I think all the 100% puuurrrree...C---- cacao (how many of you thought I was going to say coke? Be honest!) has burned off, and it's time for me to hit the mat hard! (Yoga silly people! Although it is not uncommon for that to end with a session of some super heavy stepping!) I just wanted to share this burst of random energy with you all, and tell you how much I lalalalalalalalaloooove you! You're beautiful, you're wonderful, you're awakening, you've got it going on! Use it!

Enjoy life lovely souls!

<3 

As We Grow, We Learn

I screwed up BIG TIME when I went to school and majored in Marketing. But before I get into that, I will give a little glimpse into something else....

There is a fairly good chance I will not be able to go to Spain in January because I do not have any savings. That's right, my idiocy and love for material items could potentially kill the one dream I've had for what seems like my entire life. Pretty typical of us as humans, right? The lust for things tends to kill our true loves far too often, at least here in the U.S.. I remember being a really smart spender when I was younger, always questioning several times if I really needed the item before I bought it. This led me to not make the purchase most of the time, but somewhere along the line, I lost that trait. Now, instead of "do I really need this," I am asking myself, "how much do I love this," and "how high are my feelings of 'can't live without?'" Instead of basing my purchases on if I really need the item or not, I gauge it on how much I am in love with it, and how much it costs/what's its opportunity cost. Because I never absorbed and applied the lessons my parents tried to teach me about saving money and putting some away each month, I am now in a position where I may have to take an alternative path than the one I really want to travel (no pun intended).

So as I begin to look at alternate options for my future, just in case I am unable to go to Spain, I am realizing more and more that, while I may be naturally good at marketing and business, it's not really what I want to do for work, in the conventional way that is. The jobs I find myself more drawn to are more on the end of photography, writing, design, fashion, recreation, human/body studies, fitness, nutrition, travel, exploration, inspiration, and life as a whole. None of these studies were covered in Marketing. At least not in enough depth to really give me a chance of getting an interview for a lot of the jobs I find interesting.

There's a big problem with the way we do things here in the United States. I know I have not traveled the whole world, but I am confident when I say that I have a global understanding, and I know enough about other cultures to know that we are doing it wrong (at least for the kind of person that I am). Here, we are so focused on being born, learning how to talk and walk, going to preschool, kindergarten, grades 1-8, high school, and then, it's expected of us to graduate and go to college. (Well, used to be, now there are shows like "16 & Pregnant" that pretty much condone teen pregnancy, and "Real Housewives" that inspire females to grow up to be dramatic, plastic women instead of actual, real people, and do NOT even get me started on the Kardashians.) I have learned, through firsthand experience, that this is where the problem lies. Too many of us now a days are born into a culture where we have an overload of exposure right off the bat. This leads us to knowing bits and pieces about a lot of different things. For some, it's wonderful, because they learn early-on what it is they want to spend their time and lives doing, but for others, it just means we are left with this interest in a laundry list of things, and not sure what direction to take.

There are so few of us that are actually prepared for college when we are 18-years old. I was in no way ready to go off and begin to start a degree that I'm supposed to use to get a job that I have for the rest of my life. I'm still not ready for that. Sure, I have a better idea now what I would like to spend my life doing, but it's taken me five and a half years to get where I am now! And I realize that we can't just take however many years to figure it out, while we work some job, and then go to college when we have it figured out, but I also think there is something to this: working hard from the time you are allowed to work, saving up your money, and NOT going to college right out of high school, (unless you know what you want to do) but instead, traveling. This would allow us to have more exposure to other people, ways of life, and places, so we can start to learn who we are, what we like, and what we are interested in spending our lives doing. Not to mention, it would instill in people a sense of ownership and a habit of working hard, something I fear too many of us lack these days. It's a flawed system, like so many of them are, and we have outgrown them.

The point is this: I'm looking at jobs I have little chance of ever getting because my degree doesn't match up to what they want, but I know without a doubt I could do the work and do it well. That sucks. And it isn't any better to know that I was swayed from my real interests because we just assume that people will grow out of most of them, and should pick a more generic path that will bring them "success." That is the peril of being influenced and controllable.

Today's thoughts: If I had just followed my desire to work in fashion when I graduated high school, then who knows where I would be today? (This is just one example of paths I thought of pursuing, but did not because I didn't make my own decisions, and because I let my lust for money trump my love.) I am now going backwards because I was too afraid that I wouldn't make a decent living doing what I really love, and that is a shame.

My name is Allison Fedor, and I am done being a sheep!

Where Is The Love?

Every single one of us is born with certain desires and questions. The desire to love and be loved is one, and the never-ending question and exploration about what our purpose is in life is another. Both of these are things I have struggled with for my entire life in one way or another.

I remember being in the first and second grades. There was a group of us girls that were "BFF's" and always "stuck together." We always fought over one of the girls, Michelle, and for some reason had decided that she was the ultimate BFF, the one we all wanted to share our friendship necklaces and secrets with. Now, I'm not sure how this cruel game came to be, but I distinctly remember that we would alternate excluding one of the girls. A few of us would completely exclude her and make her feel like she wasn't part of the group anymore. We would walk past whoever was out of the group for the week and say things like, "I can't wait to spend the night at your house tonight! It's going to be so much fun!" We would say it loud enough, and deliberately enough that whoever we were shunning that week would hear, feel sad and jealous, and know that she was missing out on something, even though no sleep overs were ever actually planned. And one thing I remember more than any of it, was how it felt to be the girl sitting against the cement building, watching as my so-called "best friends" walked by, bragging about the plans they were making, and excluding me from. Even though I was part of doing that to others, I felt like I was on the outside more than the inside. It brings tears to my eyes and pain to my heart to recall these times.

I don't know how or why girls are so viscous, and why when we are young we feel the need to prove "how cool we are" by completely bringing down other people. And the fact that we never were really planning a sleep over, just means that we premeditated the pain we were inflicting. How sad and gross. When we are that young, we do not realize the psychological damage that we are inflicting on our fellow lady friends, and it's no wonder so many grow up to be depressed adults, constantly seeking the attention, approval, and acceptance of others, and generally finding it in the company of men. And if this is the kind of thing that was going on back in 1996, I can't even imagine what goes on today now that kids are exposed to so much more violence and hardship.

Our society is full of problems, but one of the greatest, by far, is our inability to simply give into, accept, and go with one of our only desires -- to love and be loved. If all we want from the time we are born is to feel loved, then why do we waste so much energy and time doing exactly the opposite to those around us? Why not just give in to the fact that we want to be loved, and realize that in order to be loved, we must also love?

There's a real problem these days, and as I've demonstrated, it's been going on for years, more likely decades and centuries, with people and the way we treat one another. If we weren't put on this earth to take care of each other, then why are there so many of us? So many people have children and pets because they want that bundle of joy that validates them. A baby or pet loves you, needs you, adores you, and is there for you. What else feels as good as a baby looking up at you, smiling, with its arms outstretched for you to hold it? Or a dog that gets excited and races up to you for love when it sees you? And what feels worse than being dissed by a baby or dog? Very little. This innate need to love and be loved is something we all have, so why don't we express it more?

I believe that we can see changes in the world. But I also know for a fact that the only way to see these changes are to love and be loved. We can't keep closing ourselves off to the possibility of great love, refusing to give it, and hope that things will get better. It's impossible, and I don't need to be a poli sci major or politician to know it.

Let's work on loving each other, unconditionally. :)

Today's Thought: If every person gave as much love as they had, and every person received all the love that was offered to them (not meaning sex), then the world would be the most beautiful place. But maybe that's not the point. Maybe earth isn't supposed to be that happy, because then what desire would any of us have to move onto Heaven (whatever your idea of heaven/after life might be)?

Love Too Much

I am so unmotivated right now.

I cannot think of what to write about, because the topics that I have on my "to-write about" slate are lacking all appeal in the current moment, and honestly, I think everything is.

The only things that I really want to do right now are (1) go home, (2) cuddle, and (3) sleep. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I have been waking up at 5:15am each morning this week to go to Runyon and walk/jog/run, and my body hasn't yet adjusted to start letting me fall asleep before 10:45, which translates to not enough sleep, and a semi-grouchy, tired, unmotivated, and careless Allison (in the sense that I literally don't care about much right now other than getting and giving love). 

It's times like these that I think to myself how much I "need" my A.D.D. medicine back in my life, and then that thought makes me mad because I do not ever want to think to myself that a pharmaceutical is what I need to feel better, when in fact, all I need is a good hug. 

I am becoming increasingly aware of how needy I am when it comes to affection, and how much love I have in my heart. I have a constant need to be in loving contact with people, whether it be touching, smiling, laughing, or having some sort of uplifting conversation, I need that all. the. time. It becomes quite a hassle when I live alone, having all these needs for affection and love, and an even bigger hassle considering that my man lives an hour away, on a good traffic day. 

Because I am constantly over-flowing with love for people, I often find myself looking at people I don't even know, but am drawn to, wanting to walk up to them and just wrap my arms around them. I think that's what I like so much about festivals: that's completely acceptable behavior. I tried it at the club I went to in Hollywood on Friday night to see Pleasurekraft (a GREAT show I might add), and it was received with a bit of shock. Although they handled my random passing-of-energy better than I would have expected in that setting. At a festival, anytime you bend down to stretch, you are suddenly feeling hands on you rubbing you out. And usually, when you stand up and look to your friend to say "thanks," there's some random person walking away from you -- it's amazing. 

Yep, I think I shall become a gypsy soon. Living with very little life-plan other than to love and be loved. I honestly don't need much else other than produce, water, and protein in my life, so why not? ;) 

Today's Thought/Question: Consider becoming a traveler and a gypsy -- what are the four things in life you feel you could not live without? 

Stress, Peace, & Brazil's Big Mistake

Yesterday I returned to Mosaic Hollywood for the Sunday morning service and the pastor was talking about stress. He asked us to look to the person next to us and tell them three things that really stress us out. Mine were (1) the crossroads I am at in my life, and knowing what decision I should make or what path I am supposed to go down next, (2) money, and the third was a bit harder for me to come up with, and I can't even remember what I said now. After we were done, I sat there thinking about things that really stress me out. The first I listed is a huge source of stress and provokes a lot of thought in my life, and money, yes, it can be stressful, but I've figured out my budget and am prepared not to let money be a stresser in my life, so that one really didn't need to be said. As for the third, I was quite pleased, and shocked that I was having such a hard time thinking of a third thing that reeeeally stresses me out, but when we were finished I realized the biggest thing I stress about is a world and people without peace and love.

I know that sounds like some load of complete hippie crock, but it is absolutely true. I am a surprisingly empathetic person, and when others are in a bad situation and feeling pain, I take it on as my own and it makes me incredibly sad. I get tears in my eyes almost daily when I exit the freeway and see someone standing there with a sign, asking for help. When I see an elderly person who is alone and struggling, I cry because I fear they have no loved one to take care of them, and when I see a family that is in a bad situation, it makes me feel broken inside.

Our world has so many wonderful, beautiful people in it still, but the overall things that people care about and do with their time are not reflective of a positive and loving life. I read an article today about Brazil. Their President, Dilma, has given the okay for the beginning of a construction build to help produce electricity. Now, I'm into electricity, I love to be able to charge things and use things like lights and stoves, but when the cost of all of that is spending money that isn't really there, that's a problem. But what's an even bigger problem, and pretty much the only one when we consider that money doesn't matter and people do, is that this construction is going to displace over 40,000 indigenous and local people. The hydroelectric plant is going to ruin at least 400,000 hectares of forest land. (If you would like to sign a petition against this heinous behavior, click here.)

How is it possible that we've come to the point where people are willing to destroy the lives of tens of thousands of people just to make more money and provide more comfort for those who already have it? We have got to stop putting all the focus on stuff, things, material goods, and money, and start putting it on the only things that will really ensure our survival and happiness...peace, love, respect, coexisting, and taking care of one another. We are all going to end up killing one another at the rate we're going. We've got to unite and learn to care for each other, understand each other, and learn from one another. If we don't life is sure to get boring because everyone will be the same, and there will be even more mindless drones walking around.

Just some stuff to think about.

Lightning in a Bottle

This weekend I was blessed with one of the most amazing experiences of my life -- I went to the Lightning in a Bottle Festival. It is a music, yoga, art, and meditation festival that focuses on sustainability and celebrating life. I was there from Friday afternoon till Monday afternoon, camped outside for the first time in my life, didn't shower for almost four days, and have never had a better time. I've never been so dirty and so happy before.

Living there for those days I experienced the most incredible culture. Every person that I came into contact with was positive, loving, giving, and wonderful. Any randomly yelled out response that was given in response to the randomness that came from my heart being so overwhelmed with love, joy, and peace, was one of reciprocated love. A mass amount of people taking life back to a simpler and more blessed way. Trading and bartering in place of buying, and each person contributing what they could and had to the group.

We were far beyond blessed with the family that we established. Among us there were artists and lovers of every sort -- face painters, air brushers, singers, guitarists, rhinestone-ers, lollipop makers, dancers and lovers. I went into the weekend knowing two people in the area in which we camped, and ended up becoming part of the most incredible group we could have found. Beautiful people with beautiful hearts. 

  The beautiful Jordan geming the lovely Jo

 Kate the Great transforming into Ganesha

 Words cannot express my love for Jeremy

 Daniel, the amazing airbrusher

 Anthony and Daniel's tag-team work is outstanding

 Creeping on Chris while he's asleep

  Still held up after sleeping on it!

 Jo made a perfect canvas 

 Mel becoming the hot-bot

 Our neighborhood <3 

We created a world within the one that we all generally live in. There were no rules other than to love and be loved, and no one was there to judge or be judged. Each person was welcome to express themselves however they desired, and were loved and embraced all the more for it. It was truly amazing to know that outside of the Canyon walls was the rest of the world, living unaware of the one we'd created for ourselves. I salute The Do Lab for their amazing work, and will anxiously await the day I can buy my 2013 ticket. 

Today's Quote: "Of course it's happening inside your head [Harry], but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" -HP & The Deathly Hallows, Pt. 2

God Loves Gays Too

I presume that this post will stir the pot of controversy (if anyone even reads it), but that is fine by me! It's time that I write something a little bolder and passion-filled.

To start, I have been raised in a Christian home. My family and I started going to church when I was in the second grade (1996), and I still go to that same church on Sundays when I am in Stockton. I have strong faith, am a firm believer, and trust God with my life, but there are certain things about religion that I view in a very nontraditional way. Namely, homosexuality and marriage.

Homosexuality and Christianity rarely fit like PB&J, but I refuse to accept that God doesn't love gays.

People always say that you should love yourself, that you've been created in God's own image, are perfect in His eyes, and shouldn't deface your body or not love yourself because He made you just the way you are, the way He WANTED. Well if that's the case, I think everyone should reconsider before they decide that a G/L/B/T shouldn't be loved and treated the same as the next straight person that comes along. Because since we're all created in His own image, and made how we are because He so chose, no person should disrespect Him by saying homosexuality is ungodly.

Another thing, God has control over everything. He gives us freewill to choose, to sin, and to live how we want, but the facts are that He has laid out a plan for us and calculated each and every step and moment of our lives before we were even born. This being true, don't you think He would have left homosexuality out when He was dishing out who and what if it really was a concern of His or something He didn't want? If you think it's because He gave us freewill and wanted people not to chose sin, then you're forgetting that lying is a sin.

How can anyone suggest that a homosexual should live their life as though they are straight because of what the Bible says about man and wife? What do you want them to do? Deny who they are, marry someone they might love, but not desire, and reproduce? A marriage without desire is just as good as a marriage without love! Lying is sinful, so how can you ask someone to LIVE a lie?

Throughout the Bible God puts the most emphasis on one thing consistently, and that is love. It is abudantly clear that God wants us to love another, and love our enemies even more. He places the highest value on relationships and loving one another, so how can someone do the exact opposite?

I believe that the Bible is God's word, but I also believe that He loves each of His children equally and wants us all to be with Him when the time comes. I will forever pray that people become more accepting, because if we all continue to turn against each other, we're all doomed.


Today's Verse: "Therefore, putting away lying, let each of you speak truth with his neighbor. For we are all members of one another." Ephesians 4:25

!NCREASE THE PEACE

Love Is In The Air

Welp it's that time of year again folks. The day that generates an absurd amount of revenue for the floral, candy, jewelry, card, and all other things romantic, industries. The day when shades of red and pink cover every surface in every supermarket, convenience store, or shop, and you can't escape the cheesy and horrible commercials on TV. Anyone in a relationship will flaunt it to the max, and all those lonely singles out there will wallow and hide, trying to escape the constant reminder that they don't have a lover sending them bouquets of roses and boxes of chocolates. And then there are the select few of us singles, who don't mind at all and are surprisingly content in our solo state.

Sure I say that Valentine's Day is a completely over commercialized crock like everyone else, but let's face it...if I were in a relationship, I would be going all out for the day just like anyone else. Now don't twist my words, this isn't to say that I wish I had that opportunity, I'm just being honest about how all of us singles feel, but are reluctant to say. We say we hate the day, but we know deep down if we had someone to share it with, we wouldn't feel that way. (See what I mean? The V-day spirit has taken over my body and I'm now spitting out rhymes! My gosh they're sneaky!)

I think that the reason I love Valentine's Day so much is because of how great it is when you're growing up. I realize that for some it may not have been a box of warm fuzzies, but in all my classes growing up, everyone had one. It was always so exciting to go to the market with my mom and pick out the Valentine's Day cards that I would be passing out to each of my classmates on the special day. There was always the really big one to give to your special crush, and those that you didn't care for too much to give to those kids you weren't so crazy about. The candy flowed like waterfalls and the buzz in the air was one of excitement and fun. And it was always so great when you realized that no one else had passed out the same cards you did! Ah yes, Valentine's Day is such a grand holiday when we're young, and then we stop showing love to EVERYONE around us, and stop enjoying the day as much. Interesting coincidence, don't you think? I think that for the majority of people, at least in the United States, we will always have some fond memories of this lover's day, and we can try to deny our passion for it as much as we want. But the bottom line is, everyone likes to feel loved, and make others feel loved as well. Enjoy your V-day people, and remember to live each day like it's your last!

Today's Quote: "A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge." -Thomas Carlyle