Thumbs Up From Above

Yesterday morning I had a big, huge, major, whoa-my-gosh-what-a-world this-is-going-to-change-everything realization, which you can read about here, but just in case you don't want to, the summary goes like this (as said/read in a voice going the speed of light and never stopping for any breaths till the final period has been passed):

I have highs and lows and I've been wanting to figure out how to, essentially, stop them for good, but haven't been able to make the lows stop rolling through town on their dark horses; which while mystical, magical, beautiful and breath-taking, are too strong, too dark, and stomp out the love and light I try to live in, breath in, exhale out, be, see, and pass on, so, what can I do? How can I overcome them? What's the solution? (Will it ever end!?!) Well, BAM! Here comes yesterday to tell me: ACCEPT THEM, then they lose power over you, and then, like any competitive person likes to hear, "You Win!" Oh yes, oh yeah, that's the way to play. So, on the the accepting game!

Got it? More or less? Great, continuing on with today's amazements then...

(And yes, I may have just made up a new word, but it seems like in the English language, we are fond of taking a real word, adding a prefix or suffix to it that doesn't usually belong, and then calling it a word. Usually no one flinches. [Remind me again why I'm an English teacher, let alone preparing people for Cambridge Official Exams..? Hmm.. Shh, don't tell Cambridge.]) But back to the Amazements of The Day...

Paulo Coelho and Ralph Waldo Emerson once said/wrote/thought some variation of, "When you make a decision, the whole universe conspires in your favor to help you make it happen." And seeing as I have recently decided, with every cell of my Being, every part of my heart, and every assurance in my mind, to accept my lows with my highs, my moments that lack love with my moments of I-just-need-to-hug-a-stranger-right-now, my bright, beaming moments where there's no doubt I am a representation of God's Light, with the moments you'd hope I wasn't religious or engaged in a spiritual relationship, because, wait, where is He in all that sass, I am now putting forth a new practice of accepting all these phases of my cycle, today God has been delivering me so much information to support this. Essentially, I'm getting the Big Thumbs Up from the Universe right now. (Awesome. Always awesome. Feels better than a pat on your back.)

The first thing I found, which left me pretty stumped, and also reconsidering all the snide remarks I've made about astrology and star signs in the past, was this beautiful explanation of the New Moon in Aquarius on Mystic Mamma.

Aside from the insanely impeccable timing of the New Moon transitioning from Aquarius to Pisces (my sign, heeey!), which makes me feel almost certain that God has got His hand in this (causing the reconsideration of said snide, astrologically-directed past comments) a lot of the information I read resonated on a very deep level with me. It seems to apply wonderfully to the processes I've been, well, processing, as well as the realizations I've been coming to. One such example is this,

“…This powerful 29th degree Aquarius New Moon is all about anchoring in the Light but not doing it in a way to escape, deny or ignore the shadow. We do so that we can illuminate the shadow and help heal the rift and duality in ourselves and the world around us.”

I mean, I don't think I even need to write any commentary, because how much clearer does it get than that? It's exactly what I am processing and working on now!

And then, as if these Astral Insights weren't enough to make my Everything Is Aligned geek-dar start beeping, I clicked over to the Consciousness Videos tab on the site, and came upon this Vintage Ram Dass Gem!

Or here

Just like that, inner peace has been restored, and I'm so certain that this is going to help launch me into my next dimension of living, breathing, and Being!

Acceptance has always been the key, it's always been something I've known and tried to practice, but now, it's time to stop letting "how hard it is" or "how annoying/loud/disrespectful they are" stop me from actually using and doing it! Time to get accepting, people! I am that I am that I am and that I am is Good Good Good because it's from God! Amen!

I love you

Have a great week

Blessings

Love

&

Light

All Right

<3

Awkward Moments Chapter 4: Trying To Look Hot, While Sweating

Now, I know that there are some people out there that are just not genetically programmed to sweat, and these people ARE NOT FROM HERE! Believe me, I mean that in the kindest way possible, and from the very deepest, darkest, most jealous corners of my heart. I cannot comprehend how some people will leave their waist-length hair down, wear skinny jeans, dance all night on the overly-crowded dance floor, and not have a single drop of salty moisture running down any part of their bodies. You people out there are so lucky, I can't even look at you. Because there I will be, bra completely soaked and weighing more than it should because Victoria's Secret can't make a bra without adding 10 layers of padding to it (sorry guys, it is NOT all natural, and THAT is Victoria's Secret), no trace of make up left on my face except for some smeared eyeliner and mascara (which I consider lucky because it shows I actually had some on at some point. Hmm..double-edged sword now that I think about it.), hair dripping like I just took a dip, and red in the face like I just ate a whole case of habaneros.

A.D.D. Drift: It's been a while since I threw one of these down, but I have to for this... "habaneros," according to Google Chrome, is not a real word. So it suggests that I change it to either one of two words I can't even begin to pronounce, "handovers," or "headbangers." Hahah. Sorry, I think I find this mostly hilarious because as of last summer, I dedicated my life and soul to dubstep, drum and bass, and all other music forms that are heavy on the bass, therefore resulting in my adopting headbanging as my move of choice. And now, back on track...

So as I was saying, going to a club, or dance bar, or show for me is quite a stressful situation. Luckily there is always a little liquid courage to help me not think about how utterly disgusting I look, but that doesn't eliminate the fact that I am, in essence, a wet dog on the dance floor. It is such a shame to wear out some really hot, wonderful, utterly uncomfortable heels with a nice little skirt/top or dress, do my hair, actually put on eyeshadow, and head out the door thinking, "dang, I can really clean up when I want to," just to walk inside the humid establishment and start to sweat within the first minutes of my first dance. I do not feel attractive, I do not want to dance, and I do not want to think about or see how nasty the air inside is. And that, my friends, I think is the reason why so many college-aged people are black-out drunks. No one wants to think, see, or feel what they actually look like, are, and have become, so they continue to toss them back to get over any inhibitions and insecurities they have. I have seen it many times. To be a not-blacked-out-drunk at the bars or clubs is SO entertaining and I highly suggest that everyone try it (even for just half a night). Another little drift, I know.

All I'm saying is, it is SO awkward to try and look and act hot when you are so clearly in need of a shower. But will that ever stop us? Heck no! [DANCEPANTS4LYF<3] We will just continue to snag bar napkins and blot when we can, take frequent trips to the ladies' room to "touch up," and hope that you have consumed far more than us and don't even care, so long as you can escape the sausage-fest you came with and get a little estrogen in your atmosphere.

Today's Quote: "Beauty in things exists in the mind which contemplates them." -David Hume

Awkward Moments Chapter 3: Pulling Out

If you opened this with the expectation that I would be talking about something of a sexual nature, then I am sorry to have to disappoint you, but that is not what this chapter is about. When I say "pulling out," I am referring to when you are in your car. Those times when you are at a stop sign and no one seems to want to go, (even though we [should] all know that the person on the right goes first) so you all start going at once and do the gas-break-[dip;]-gas-break dance till someone grows a pair and decides, "I'll be the one, geez!" Or those other times when you are in your car and there is a pedestrian who can't make up their mind if they're in a hurry, can wait a few, or if they're even at the right intersection, so you usually end up almost hitting them because you decide to go at the same time. And there's also those times when you and another car are situated and they're waiting for you to pull out and make your turn so they can make theirs, but they're still in motion, so you can't really tell what's going on or what you're supposed to do.

This, like umbrella etiquette, is something that seems so simple and understandable, yet we all struggle with it and are forced to face these situations time and time again. I would like to pose some solutions to the aforementioned problems.

For instance, when you are at a stop sign and no one seems to want to go, WAVE to each other to signal one another. Some people just sit there and act like there's nothing going on, expecting you to read their mind or something and figure out what they want from you. If everyone would just pick their heads up and turn on their brains to a little higher level of functionality, we could probably avoid this frustrating scenario.

Next a note for all pedestrians: YOU HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY. If it is you v. vehicle, go ahead! Unless you are one of those horribly obnoxious people that thinks the world is your crosswalk and you can just mosey on across the street at whatever snail-pace suits you, with no regard for the people around you, then you need to get a grip and realize that it is not your world and I'm not just living in it, we share, and I am in something that could decimate you. Thanksss. And do not get mad and in a tissy at me because you waited so long to make your move that I decided to make mine, coincidentally when you finally begin to move, and we almost have a scene out of "Crash" on our hands. But again, here a simple wave or gesture of "no, you go ahead," would be quite suitable and alleviate many of the problems we have. It would probably save some lives in the process. Win, win? I think so!

And finally, for those people who expect you to make your left or right turn while they are still moving towards you in the process of making their right turn, even though there is clearly not a wide enough space for two cars to fit by, STOP. They're called breaks, and we could all benefit from an increase in their use. You can't look at me and wave me forward when you are still moving, we will never both fit. At least not in our non-Inspector Gadget cars.

Problems and solutions, people! We've all got em, and I am here to try and fix them. ;-)

I apologize that it has been so long since my last post, and that this one holds a certain sense of hostility, but I do live in LA now, and my writing tone is always influenced by what I am reading and watching. Which is currently Harry Potter #5 (no, not rereading, just finally reading), and since I spent my entire lunch hour yesterday watching Jenna Marbles videos on Youtube...... Well, you get where I'm going with this. And if not, Google her, watch her, laugh, and love.

Today's Quote: "A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road." Henry Ward Beecher

I'm A Big Kid Meow

Well folks I finally did something I set out to do! I came on this massive roadtrip with the hopes of finding myself a job down here in Los Angeles, and while it may not be a permanent position, it certainly is a paying job! I am back at Disney's ABC working in the communication administration department. It's a 6-week temp job, but could turn into something more permanent somewhere. So I have moved myself down to LA, into my uncles' home, and am beginning the next chapter of my life.

It's very strange jumping into this type of thing so quickly. I came down here to go to a few interviews and meetings, catch up with people I worked with during my internship, visit close friends, and try to snoop out a job. I never in a million years would have expected that me dropping in to say hi to a few old colleagues would lead to a short-term position right back where I was only a matter of months ago. But in a way it's very fitting, and in a strange way could have been expected simply because of how things go in my life. It is full of the unexpected, crazy things happening at crazy times, and little surprises that only God knows about.

I didn't have any time to adjust to the idea of moving out of Chico, so it's probably a good thing that I will be going back this weekend to gather my wardrobe and get in one last night of debauchery with my friends! And then it will be back down to LA, where I have pretty much always belonged, to continue my "adult life" and try to really make my mark in the world. In an interview I had last week one of the questions was about my long-term goals, goal for the next 5-10 years. I answered by saying that I will have moved up in the company from where I started and all that good stuff, but my biggest focus was the fact that I will be a force to be reckoned with in whatever industry or job I am doing. It's something that I've always thought, wanted, and known would come of my life, but to actually vocalize it that way felt so amazing. I think my confidence increased a few decibels in that sentence alone.

I would like to pose a "mission" to you all for the rest of the week... figure out what your goals are in life. Make them as big and outrageous as you possibly can. Say them to yourself, write them down, or if you're feeling like letting it all out, tell someone you know. Manifest destiny is a real thing and you can really apply it to your life if you believe and try. Keep God with you and He will enable you to do all things. Life is a crazy, messy ride, but it is the most wonderful thing that we can ever do. It is up to us to make it our own and make it what we want it to be, so don't hold back and no matter if it's the millionth time you've heard it, live your life with no regrets!! And if you need a little motivation to get out there and do something crazy, here are some pictures from our wonderful triple-threat-bday-bash of a weekend in LAS VEGAS! :)

 Can you say TWINNING!?!

 Triple-Threat

Today's Quote: "A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions." -Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. 

Vegas, Baby

What is it about Las Vegas that makes people lose their minds, act like they never have before, reach new heights, get wild, hop into limos with strangers, and run around in the most outrageous things you could possibly find, and would only expect to see in Jersey Shore!? Vegas has an aura about it that says, "come as you are, be who you want to be, put up any kind of front, and get as crazy as you possibly can, because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas (unless it's herpes;)!" It is one exquisite city, that's for dang sure. All the shows, people, entertainment, casinos, clubs, bars, pool parties, and heat make it a one of a kind place to go, be, and see.

I think there are a few main reasons why people go to Vegas, and they are as follows:

• You want to escape the (possibly) sad reality of your life. A getaway is what you need to just release everything within and feel free for even just a few days.
• You're bored and have decided, "let's go to Vegas!"
• You are going because EDC (Electric Daisy Carnival) is now there. :)
• You've never been and are visiting the United States (or possibly not even visiting from outside the country) and know that of all the cities in the country to see, it is right up there with Los Angeles, San Francisco, New York City, and the Grand Canyon.

And then my personal favorite and most used reason...
You have been before, therefore realizing that it is one of the greatest places in the world and know you have to go back at least once a year.

And as I mentioned in my last post, I will be leaving for the lovely LV in just a matter of hours. We will be having a triple-threat-bday-bash to celebrate Papa Bear Reeces Pieces birthday, Sassy Sam's 21st (!!!!!), and my birthday! It is going to be quite a joy. We will be attending Bassnectar at the Palms tomorrow and I couldn't be more excited than to be celebrating the big 2-3 with some of my dearest friends, in Las Vegas, while breaking my neck to some Bassneez! Hop on my Twitter and follow me around, I will try to post some pix to take you on the trip with us! :) Enjoy your life and have fun this weekend! Especially if you're in Cali, it's beach weather baby! Get out there and catch some rays!!

Today's Quote: "How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?" -Satchel Paige

For me, the answer to that is simple... Some days I would be 7, some 15, some 21, some 26, some 30, and others about 65. Haha. Varying maturity levels and actions depending on the given situation. :)

23's Never Looked So Good

People freak out about age far too often, I believe. The big ones that are actually worth tripping out over, in my opinion, are your 1st birthday (I mean, obviously, that is a fairly big landmark in a person's life. Even if we never remember it.), 13th (yay, I'm a teenager now!), 16th (Sweet 16? I will never really understand the great appeal to this one..), 18th (awesome, I can legally kill my lungs, pollute my mind, and be considered an "adult," no matter how far from the truth that may be), 21st (for very, very obvious reasons to us Americanos), 25th (a quarter century, if you so make it that far in the end anyways), 30th (probably the best year EVER), then from there I would say you go by 10's. And if you make it to the majorly old age of 100, you. GO. HARD!

Many of my friends and I are coming into our 23rd years of life, and the reactions have been very mixed. And while I don't think that any birthday should go uncelebrated, or that 23 is really that big of a deal, it still kind of is. At least for a bunch of us it marks the year that we are finally done with college and beginning to come into our "adult lives." Most of my friends have been and are dreading turning 23 and think there is absolutely no draw to it. People stress out and say that after you turn 21 it's all downhill from there. Well to all you naysayers out there I say, "STOP! That is ludicrous for you to think that way!"

I consider myself to be incredibly blessed that I can truly and honestly say that each year of my life seems to be even better than the last. It could be because I get wiser with each year that passes, but I think that it is because I just don't stop having fun. I can turn just about anything into a joke, try not to take myself too seriously, and love to have a good time wherever and with whomever. You never know how long you're going to be on mother earth, so you might as well live it up and have a good time while you still can!

The whole reason for all this word-vomit is that this past Sunday (February 26th) was MY 23rd birthday! It is a day I was looking forward to since just a couple months after my 22nd, and a year that I know and feel will be one of the greatest yet! I am going to begin my "big girl life" and move my butt back down to LA where it belongs, I will likely begin a career or some sort of job (that I absolutely love, of course, why bother doing anything else!?), and watch my life transform before my eyes. It will be glorious. You all are in for quite a treat as we embark on this journey together.

Once again, I apologize that it has been so many days. I am on a whirlwind road/"business" trip for a couple weeks and have been without internet this entire week. 8-O And considering that I am leaving for Las Vegas tomorrow to celebrate my birthday in correlation with two other friends', I can pretty much assure you that I will not be posting again until Sunday. Apologies in advance dear friends. Te quiero mucho!

Today's Quote: "All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much." -George Harrison

California Dreamin'

Today marks the first day in my SoCal adventure, and the second stop on my long journey. I started out at home in Stockton for a few days where I maxed out on family time, good food, and the Newsboys in concert. Now I find myself in sunny Santa Barbara with my little sis. She goes to Westmont College in Montecito and I am visiting her for the first time since she started back in August! The drive to get here reminded me just how beautiful the California landscape is. Most of our 6 hour drive was spent on the 5, but as soon as we got on the 126 and 101 my breath left me as I was surrounded by hills, lush greenery, and soon, the incredible ocean view. Passing through Ventura and Ojai is one of the prettiest sights you'll ever see, and the way the sun was shining through the clouds and hitting the fog on the ocean made it look like an early sunset. (These photos were taken with the Retro Camera app on my cellular.)

 Driving to SB on the 101 North

I am so excited to get out there tomorrow and take some pictures of the gorgeous scenery that surrounds this hidden gem of a campus. A bikeventure is calling my name, and my camera can't wait to be taken along!

Although I've traveled some other countries and seen a reasonable amount of sites, I still cannot forgo my appreciation for the beauty that surrounds us right here at home. We are blessed with snow and surf all in one happy place, and for that I will be eternally grateful. Always look around you and appreciate what is in front of you. And if you can't, find someone who isn't from there and bring them for a visit, they will undoubtedly point out a bit of beauty somewhere that you might have overlooked.

Today' Quote: "A thing of beauty is a joy forever: its loveliness increases, it will never pass into nothingness." -John Keats

Mash Me Up

I, like every other person I've ever known, LOVE MUSIC! It is one of the things I can honestly say my life would be lacking, boring, and empty without. Music keeps me alive just as much as food and water, and in most cases, gives me a much bigger dose of energy than any espresso. There is a song for any day, any emotion, any situation, and EVERY moment of your crazy life, and can take you to places you've never gone before. "My Heart Will Go On" takes me back to eighth grade in an instant. It was the year my life improved ten-fold and I finally saw Titanic. When I think about or hear that song I see myself standing in the shower belting out the words thinking I was Celine Dion herself. "Peaches & Cream" takes me back to eighth grade also, but in a very different way. It, on the other, more inappropriate hand, takes me back to winter Church camp with my best friend at the time. I see myself walking around the snow covered camp grounds with my hot pink compact disc player in hand, foam ear piece headphones on blast, Adidas sweatpants and doodled Converse shoes on, rapping to myself and playing the song on repeat so I could memorize every last line. (And yes, if you put it or "Fantasy" by Ludacris on, I will still bust out every word.:) When Benny Benassi's "Come Fly Away" catches my ear, I am suddenly in my best friend's Volvo our sophomore year of college. We're driving around Chico playing the music at an annoyingly high level, and letting our voices soar as we have an all-out car dance session. And now, whenever I hear that dirty, filthy, nasty, and delicious Bassnectar, I am taken back to the football field of the community college in South Shore, Lake Tahoe, during SnowGlobe. I see myself gigging harder than I ever have before, feeling the music course through every ounce of my body, making me move to it, feeling every vibration from the bass and drop of the beat thinking, "I hope I don't break my neck from whipping my head around so hard," and being caught up in the intimate experience he and I were sharing (never mind the thousands of others around).

Yes, music is quite an interesting thing. They say a picture's worth a thousand words, but I think that a song is worth much more. A string of memories, an instant rush of feelings, phrases, dance moves, or conversations shared, yup, music is the key to life my friends. And since I have been blessed with such a strong case of A.D.D., it makes sense that one of my favorite genres is mash-ups. They fit who I am and what I am quite perfectly. They're rarely staying the same for very long, but they're always a blend. Taking songs that are from genres as different as water and absinthe, but putting them together to make something incredible and brilliant. Mash-ups are a great way to describe any life. Different pieces of different people, places, things, ideas, cultures, and styles, that all play an important part in the finished product. Hardly ever boring, and generally unexpected, just like my life. :)

So here's a playlist my roomie and I recently discovered on 8tracks.com. It has some of the best mash-ups I've heard in a while, and is sure to put you in a good mood, and take you down memory lane!

CLICK ME & ENJOY

Today's Quote: "All good music resembles something. Good music stirs by its mysterious resemblance to the objects and feelings which motivated it." Jean Cocteau

Love Is In The Air

Welp it's that time of year again folks. The day that generates an absurd amount of revenue for the floral, candy, jewelry, card, and all other things romantic, industries. The day when shades of red and pink cover every surface in every supermarket, convenience store, or shop, and you can't escape the cheesy and horrible commercials on TV. Anyone in a relationship will flaunt it to the max, and all those lonely singles out there will wallow and hide, trying to escape the constant reminder that they don't have a lover sending them bouquets of roses and boxes of chocolates. And then there are the select few of us singles, who don't mind at all and are surprisingly content in our solo state.

Sure I say that Valentine's Day is a completely over commercialized crock like everyone else, but let's face it...if I were in a relationship, I would be going all out for the day just like anyone else. Now don't twist my words, this isn't to say that I wish I had that opportunity, I'm just being honest about how all of us singles feel, but are reluctant to say. We say we hate the day, but we know deep down if we had someone to share it with, we wouldn't feel that way. (See what I mean? The V-day spirit has taken over my body and I'm now spitting out rhymes! My gosh they're sneaky!)

I think that the reason I love Valentine's Day so much is because of how great it is when you're growing up. I realize that for some it may not have been a box of warm fuzzies, but in all my classes growing up, everyone had one. It was always so exciting to go to the market with my mom and pick out the Valentine's Day cards that I would be passing out to each of my classmates on the special day. There was always the really big one to give to your special crush, and those that you didn't care for too much to give to those kids you weren't so crazy about. The candy flowed like waterfalls and the buzz in the air was one of excitement and fun. And it was always so great when you realized that no one else had passed out the same cards you did! Ah yes, Valentine's Day is such a grand holiday when we're young, and then we stop showing love to EVERYONE around us, and stop enjoying the day as much. Interesting coincidence, don't you think? I think that for the majority of people, at least in the United States, we will always have some fond memories of this lover's day, and we can try to deny our passion for it as much as we want. But the bottom line is, everyone likes to feel loved, and make others feel loved as well. Enjoy your V-day people, and remember to live each day like it's your last!

Today's Quote: "A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge." -Thomas Carlyle

A Pop Song Kinda Life

I never, ever, ever, ever, ever thought that I would be saying something like this, but....
Britney Spears had it right. 

Phew. Just give me a moment to cope with the fact I just thought that for the thousandth time since I graduated before I continue. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Ok, I think I'm ready now...

But seriously, I really never could have imagined that the pop songs I grew up listening to and loving would come back and actually have some relevance in my later years; let alone be on repeat in my jumbled mind day after day! But since I am at this Crossroads in my life, I have found myself thinking that "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman" over and over again. It really is the perfect way to describe where I am.

To emphasize this, here are some facts:
WOMAN: I am now a college grad, which means the next logical step is to begin a career and start the next "adult" chapter of my life.
I cannot hide in the college bubble and just pass off any questions about what I'm doing with my life with the response, "I'm a student." It is no longer a feasible occupation.
Because of this new development in my life (graduating) I am now supposed to be financially responsible for myself and be able to take care of myself.
Before when I would come home for a visit people would ask me how school was going, which turned into questions about if I knew what I wanted to do next, and now, they will be asking what jobs I applied to.

The only problem with all of this is the flip-side...
GIRL: My fingernails are painted three different, neon colors, and my fingers are always decorated with at least 3 or 4 rings.
I still have on my SnowGlobe wristband from new year's weekend, as well as other "hippie" bracelets.
It is impossible for me to make a decision and stick to it, so how the heck am I supposed to settle on a career FOR LIFE!?!
I recently bought some collared, button-up shirts. Step in the right direction? Hah, you would think so! One is covered in skulls, the other is almost a crop-top.
I live in skinny jeans, and up until today I only had one pair of work pants to my name.

See what I mean? I am so NOT prepared for this thing I am deciding to call "the after life."

I know that technically that is the phase I need to enter, and I know I'm not the only one out there to go through this, but I just don't feel like that's what I am supposed to do with my life yet. The biggest struggle I have been facing is that I need to just get over my ideas and dreams about how my life should be (aka what I want it to be), and GET REAL. The only problem there is that while I have always been a very realistic person, I have also always been a very big dreamer. I believe that I can make a difference in the world and help make people realize that world peace is the only option, and that I can just live my life day to day and let things sort themselves out. But I have got to make myself see that a lot of things, I have to sort out on my own.

The time has come for me to just suck it up and deal with the fact that I can only release my young soul on the weekends, while I use the weeks to bring home the bacon and become the young professional I am possibly destined to become. Big changes are coming my way and all I can do is hope and pray that with each stepping stone I reach, my stiletto doesn't slip off the edge! ;)

Today's Quote: "I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see." -John Burroughs

Sign Me Up

You know how everyone has their own little things that they're "obsessed" with? Ok, well even if you don't (not sure how...), you're about to. For some it's boats, others it's shoes, for a few it's feet, and others might prefer pasta, wildlife, the ocean, birds, or houses. Everyone has something that they are drawn to and interested in for seemingly no reason, and to be honest, all of the aforementioned are little obsessions of mine (minus the foot thing, sorry if you love em, but that shiz is nastttt). But in this particular case, I'm talking about what people are obsessed with taking pictures of.

Today I went on a walk in the sun to snap some shots, and came to realize that there was a pattern in the objects I was shooting. It made me think about how each person that is known for photography seems to have their niche or certain subject matter that makes them famous or who they are. For me, there is one thing that I have always been fairly fascinated by and desired...signs.

I've always been the kind of person to want a big stop sign in my house, envy my friends who have them or other acquired signs, and spend an odd amount of time photographing/noticing them wherever I go. I'm really not sure what it is about them, but I think it has something to do with all the different colors, symbols, shapes, styles, and meanings that they can be or represent. The one in the picture above caught my eye because it is pretty decrepit looking. I love that a couple of the letters are missing and that the paint is chipped off. (Just ignore the tagging on the back, as I mentioned, these photos were taken during my walk today...in Stockton.) Speaking of my walk, here are more photos that I took while traveling the levy walking path that is near my parents' house, and you'll never guess what they're of ;)

See? They're pretty interesting, right? Ok, maybe not to you, but I enjoy looking at them. :) There are so many variations of signs, and especially fascinating to look at while traveling around different places, at least to me. Everyone has their something, signs just happen to be one of mine. Just another little glimpse into the oddities of my life for ya! And now I retire to bed, I've been fighting this damn cold for a week now and am determined to win! So have a great night, day, or afternoon, and think about it.. what are the strange things you tend to be drawn to in life?

Today's Quote: "A picture is a poem without words." -Horace

The Big Two-One

It is one of the most anticipated landmarks in a person's life. It literally opens doors everywhere you go, and gives your weekends that little kick they need after years of house partying have become something of a bore. It brings a new level of convenience to your life that you never before could understand. And it is one of the craziest, most celebrated days in a person's life. And it is... your 21st birthday!

I personally think that celebrating the "big 2-1" is right up there with the likes of a wedding reception. People come out of the wood works when there's a 21st to be celebrated, and everyone is ready to get wild and have a good time. It is such a joy to spend your time and money getting someone else completely plastered, and a joy that I feel is surrounding my life quite a lot as of late. At least one person I know is turning 21 this weekend,  not to mention the gradual increase in our 21-club members from the polo team, and many of my friends also have other friends or relatives turning the glorified age this weekend. It is an exciting and celebratory time for all of us, and I think that's one of the reasons why I love them so much. Anytime I get to see someone looking that happy and having that much fun, not to mention contribute to it, I am living on a high! Birthdays make people feel loved like never before, and like the world is their playground (which for some, birthdays mean it is..). Everyone is there for you, because of you, to help you have the best time ever. How awesome is that? I really can't think of anything better (other than being one of the people to help the birthday gal or guy feel such a way). And the moods that come along with birthday celebrations seem to cover any range of happy, positive, and care-free that you can imagine! People don't show up to a birthday party pissed off or wanting to cause problems, but instead they come through the door shouting "happy birthdays" and screaming with joy. Ahh yes, birthday season has begun, and I couldn't be happier!

Here are a couple of the photos that were produced as a result of my 21st birthday. I went to Dublin, Ireland with a multi-racial group of Americans, Frenchies, Australians, Norwegians, and Finns (Finland) and had one heck of a time!

 Quite an exceptional group of ladies, if I do say so myself ;)

One of my supremely great birthday faces..

Today's Quote: "How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?" -Satchel Paige

Just My Timing

Another day, another dollar! The phrase goes something like that, but for this gal right here..not quite. Day two of my no school/no work/no gym life has brought me some very new insight. And a realization that I really do want to be productive with my time (yay, go me!). Which if you could see me now, I'm sure you would agree. What with me sitting in my insanely comfortable bed of pillows and comforters and all, hah. And I'm sure you're all wondering if I finished my Spain app like I had so valiantly said I would (yesterday), and to that the answer is...NOPE! But hey, wait a second before you get all "go figure" on me!

Now, if you are going to be taken along on this ride I call my life, there is something you should know about me...I generally have the WORST timing when it comes to anything. Deadlines? Expect whatever it is to get to you practically moments before. (Unless it involves me coordinating/planning any sort of trip/event/etc.) Boys? I seem to always be finding one that could maaaaybe be a potential, but only he's either leaving the country soon, already graduated and moved away from where we've both, coincidentally, been living for years, he comes along the same time as another great find, or the timing is entirely off just because I am perpetually unprepared or unavailable in some capacity. You're out somewhere? We might as well just coordinate what time you'll be leaving, because that's when I'll likely be ready to go meet you. Eating? I can't time a meal worse. I cook and eat, then a roomie cooks, which makes me have immediate food envy and be so upset that I'm not also eating then (even though I'm full off my....). Another example: every time I am at work and snag bites of my snack bar or take my break (for which I've taken 3 in the whole 2.5 months I've worked there), I end up not having to stay and work for more than 45 minutes. Meaning: I could have likely waited and then satisfied myself with a real meal and skipped the extra calories from that delicious MoJo Bar.

You see what I mean?

And I'm pretty sure that's just the tip of the iceberg. I could probably go on for much longer about my bad timing, but will spare you and get back on track!

Yesterday I had made it my goal to finish the application to go abroad to Spain as a teaching assistant. I vowed I would not go to sleep until I had finished every part that needed to be done. I would complete the online portion, upload all the necessary documents, dot the "I's" and cross the "T's," all that jazz, and mail in the printed portion. So it just totally figures that on this day where I have decided with such vigor to complete this task that has been looming over my head and needing to be done since November (applications aren't due till the end of March though, so don't think I'm slacking too hard;), that the website is down for maintenance. The days that I cannot access it due to this maintenance? The 23-25!! The three days in a row where I have NOTHING to do (other than during the late-night when I'm called to be one of the assistant coaches to the women's water polo team).

THIS is how I feel when I think about it! But add a little cross-eyed action and my mouth contorting a little more into an "Ohhhh myyyyyy goshhhh." But the part where my head is about to explode off the northern end, that is entirely accurate.

Luckily I don't have work until four on Thursday, so I can set an early alarm (like 10:30am, let's be real..) and get that ish done before I have to go in! And I do solemnly swear, that I will not let Friday hit until I have raped that application of all its life and submitted it like I intended to do before the New Year! RAWR!

Today's Quote relates directly to time: "I took some time out for life." Story of my life James L. Brooks, story of my life!

Happy reading and a happy life are wished upon you all :)

*Knock Knock* Who's There? LIFE.

Pretty funny joke eh? NOT. Today marks the first day of the spring semester for thousands of students everywhere, as well as a SERIOUS smack in the face from reality and my life. I knew all along that when today came it would really hit me that I no longer am a student, and that it's time to get my life going, but I didn't realize how directionless it would make me feel. I don't have work this week except for Thursday, I can't get into the gym until it's time for the girls' practice (as I am one of the assistant coaches), and  I don't have classes to attend, as we've previously reviewed. Conclusion: I HAVE NOTHING GOING ON IN MY LIFE!! 8-O Waaaaaaa!!!

So what's this almost-23-year old gal supposed to do with her time of nothing-ness? Get into some new shows that are On Demand of course! Alcatraz and The Finder are my chosen ones :) Alcatraz had me hooked before the first commercial break came on, with all of it's mystery, crime, and action; and let's face it, I am no way going to not be obsessed with The Finder when it stars Geoff Stults! Can you say hunk!? And it also stars, in the words of Chelsea Handler, one of my favorite Chocolate Chunks, Michael Clark Duncan. But real talk, my goals for the day are to finish my application for the North American Language and Culture Assistants in Spain (finally...), as well as seek out other employment opportunities (those that are more along the "career path").

This week is officially a wake-up call to the fact that that whole phrase about today deciding tomorrow is more flipping true than I could have ever imagined. I've always known that whatever I'm currently doing is the status of my life, but now I really realize it. Me sitting here on my couch watching the first episode of The Finder is absolutely no way close to making a right step towards a positive future. I am not sleeping tonight until I finish my Spain app, and accomplish a couple more tasks of productivity on my to-do list. I also really need to figure out this whole gym thing.. I wonder if I can be a spin instructor without being a trained instructor? Guess there's no time like the present to find out, huh? ;)

I am taking things on with a whole new view on being productive. I think it helps knowing that everyone around me is being productive (ie. working, going to school, etc), so it makes me want to show that I'm not just doing nothing, but instead doing something! It's your life people, and you've gotta take a hold of the reigns and steer it in the direction that you want it to go! And I know for a fact I don't want mine going onto the couch everyday!

Today's Quote: "Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present." -Jim Rohn

Lost.

This whole game of life is quite an interesting one. We're born a beautiful ball of wonder and joy, with nothing in our minds other than all the colors, voices, and sounds around us. We can't talk, walk, and we can barely even express ourselves. Then as we grow up we learn how to crawl, which turns into walking (with the help of the most sturdy object around us), and eventually we can walk on our own, run, skip, and dance. Our whole lives consistent of chapters. For many like myself those chapters include pre-school, kindergarten, middle school, junior high, high school, college, and then. . .?

It is at this new, unknown, and unguided chapter that I find myself. Not sure of where I will end up, what I will do, who will be in my life, or if I will even be alive. I know that last one is a bit of a morbid direction to take things, but let's face it, I'm here to tell the raw truth. 

For many people out there, like my sister, they grow up knowing what they would like to do with their lives. They go through high school and apply to the universities that offer the best programs for their desired studies, and then go to college and study just that. Next comes graduating and beginning a career that they have always known to be "just what they wanted to do." But there's also a handful of us out there who know very little about what we want to do, and to be honest, for us it kinda sucks. Of course I enjoy the thrill of the unknown, but when the unknown is my entire future, it becomes a bit scarier. I think I would be more excited about the prospect of moving to a foreign country where I don't speak the language or know anyone, than not know in the slightest what my future has in store for me. 

I am a college grad who is still living in Chico (where I graduated), working a minimum wage job, part-time (and that's if I'm lucky that week). And since completing my studies in mid-December, I can't even tell you how many times I've had moments of, "What the fudge am I doing with my life!?" or "Is this really what I'm doing with my life right now!?" 8O =/ =E I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but I currently can't seem to see even a sliver of it. My usual positive, adventurous, don't-worry-everything-will-be-alright attitude is failing to make an appearance tonight, and I can only pray that it will strike up again in the morning. 

The world we live in is a very large place. One that holds many opportunities, chances, and destinies. And while I "wait around" for mine to find me, I can't help but reflect back on all those that have come and gone in my life and wonder if maybe one of them was "the one." But then again, I suppose if the "right" opportunity has come and gone, it wasn't ever right from the start...right? I would like to believe that we all end up where we're supposed to be, doing exactly what we're intended to be doing, but the impatient side of me is flipping out that the next big thing in my life hasn't taken form.

I have tomorrow off and think it is time for me to begin writing the next chapter of my life. I can't sit here and wait around for someone to start doing it for me, they need to be busy writing their own! Alas, this blog has once again proved to be an excellent form of self-therapy! :) So now that I am beginning to see a glimmer of light at the end of one [of my] tunnel[s], I will bid you all a'due! Get out there and write your story! 

Because, "If you can dream it, you can achieve it." -Walt Disney

CALIforeign

I'm sure you're all thinking to yourselves, "my, what a clever title that is," and I assure you it is. But while I wish I could take the credit, I must be sure to give it to its rightful source, my little sister, Katie Marie. My family and I were driving in our lovely red rental coming back from the Grand Canyon a few weeks ago and I mentioned that we are "foreign" in Arizona. She then proceeded to come up with "Califoreign," which is very suiting. While the people don't speak with some sort of unknown accent, there are many differences between California and Arizona (I can only speak of the places I have seen: Scottsdale, Phoenix, Sedona, and the Grand Canyon). These differences include, but are not limited to the following:


+The speed limit on most of the freeways we drove was 75mph v. 65 or 70. This was SUCH an amazing thing and I highly suggest that California follow up and do the same. The pace of life has changed and sped up, it's time the speed limits follow in suit!
+People tend to follow the traffic laws, both driving and pedestrian (ie. Actually waiting to cross the street till the pedestrian crossing light comes on, slowing down when the speed limit sign instructs, and etc).
+Where we have weeds and generally ugly shrubs, they have impressive, interesting, and oh-so-cool looking cactus.
+The terrain in general has red rock and random rock/mountain mounds/formations scattered about instead of farm land or vast expanses of, nothingness.
+The climate is generally warmer, and drier.
+The people are much more natural. They wear less make-up and just "do less."
+You can be driving in the desert one hour, and in a place covered with snow the next.


Overall, I LOVED the Arizona that I saw. Especially Scottsdale and Sedona. But as I previously mentioned, my parents took me to a movie right after picking me up, so my experience in Phoenix was minimal, but very good seeing as Sherlock Holmes was so great. Excellent cinematography, story, and acting. I can't express how excited I was to see Noomi Rapace of the Swedish ( and original) version of Girl With the Dragon Tattoo! She was phenomenal. The film was full of very artistic scenes and the expected/unexpected twists you expect from Holmes. And let's be real...how could I not be happy when I got to look at ginormous Robert Downey Jr.'s and Jude Law's beautiful faces!?! But onto the travels!


We drove from Scottsdale to the Grand Canyon, and while it was a 4 hour drive (of which approximately 2.5 I slept =/), it was incredible! The scenery was picturesque and so different from what I am used to seeing in the Golden State. 

 Sis and I getting our nap on :) 

Pinkie & Brain

 Just so you understand my family-- We flipped a U-turn on the highway so we could go back and snap this pic. And yes, I did insist that we do so. I'm sorry...

Beautiful white Birch Trees are all over

And then, we got the the South Rim of the Grand Canyon! It was one hell of a sight to see and leaves no doubt in my mind that it is one of the seven wonders of the world. It expands as far as the eye can see (here's a little perspective: to DRIVE from the South Rim to the North Rim would take about 5 hours 8-O ) and in order to get the true experience you have to stay for at least a couple hours, which is easy to do. We arrived around 12:30pm and spent the afternoon walking to the different view points and driving to the different look-outs. The colors change as the day passes, and when the shadows start to set in you can really see the details of its geography. 

 ~12:30pm

 ~2:30pm

I think that it is only after leaving the Canyon that you really start to appreciate its beauty and realize just how exquisite it really is. It took my family and I 10+ years to go see it, but I am glad that we went at a point in my life where I will always remember what I saw, and I have no doubt I will return. After all, I still have to take a helicopter ride above/through it. :) I highly suggest that everyone make it a goal to go see one of the wonders of the world that we happen to have right here in the U.S. Quite amazing to think about! 

Sedona was a true gem. The town is known for its red rock formations, and has the cutest area full of shops and places to dine. We had the most amazing buffalo nachos as an appetizer (I'm now hooked on buffalo meat!) in the Cowboy Club's Silver Saddle Room. I recommend stopping in to grab a bite and sip on a delicious, scrumptious, flavorful local Arizona brew if you ever find yourself in the neighborhood! I anxiously await the day I can return to Sedona and spend a bit more time there exploring all it has to offer.

The final city that I was blessed enough to see for a little while was Scottsdale. As soon as I found out that the giant "LOVE" was there, I made it my mission not to leave without getting a photo. And so I did :)

 Tried my darndest to get up in that "L"

 What can I say? They get it from their mama ;)

Sisters by chance, lovers by choice

And while the family vacation wasn't all lollipops and gum drops (but let's face it, when your family is in a car together/living together for that long, something is going to break out at some point), it was so much more fun than I could have ever expected, no offense fam! It was such a laugh-filled time and I am very excited to return to Arizona sometime and see more of what they've got to offer! 

Today's Quote: “No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow.” –Lin Yutang

Reflect Without Regret

Since we are in a new year, I find it only appropriate to look back on 2011 and compile a little list that explains why life is so good. I am sitting here, up way past my bedtime once more (but then again, can I really say I have a bedtime now that my life is "in my control" and no longer dictated by school, or much of a schedule at all for that matter?), and I can't help but be overwhelmed by joy and happiness about the things I have done, experienced, encountered, and what is to come. The future may be uncertain, but if the last 22+ years are any indication of what's to come, I know there is no reason to have any fears. And while we may be five days into the new year, I would like to take a moment to thank 2011 for being oh-so good to me :)


2011 started on a cruise ship for my family and I, and I would have had no way of knowing what this year would bring for me. Some things like my last season of water polo and graduating from college were sure to happen, but I could never have expected that I would enter into 2012 with such clarity and calmness. I started 2011 with a heart overflowing with love, in a place it might never have been before. And as the spring semester passed, it continued to fill with love and grow, and I entered 2012 with a heart overflowing with a different but equally as wonderful kind of love. Yes, graduating and completing my final season of polo are sad milestones to have passed, but it is because of the following reasons that I reflect on 2011 as being one of the best I've had yet!

• I learned to love again; to really open my heart and just let it in, and out, without holding back or fearing the outcome.
• The water polo season wasn't our most successful as far as our record is concerned, but our friendships grew so much and are running deeper than ever before.
• I rang in the new year (2011's) on a cruise ship with family that I love, and that can never be bad (unless of course it's the Titanic..).
• When I thought my summer would be spent in Chico working as a lifeguard, I ended up snagging an internship at Disney's ABC! It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life, and I was finally able to move down to LA, a dream I've had since I can remember. 
• Meeting some awesome Germans outside of a club, who ended up becoming my closest friends of the summer, and people I still plan to see in the near future.
• Getting to hang out with my SoCal family of friends, who are some of my dearest, and my uncles that I rarely see due to the distance.
• Expanding my family of friends through Mike CHEXXX
• Running off to EDC Las Vegas and having one of the best weekends of my life
• Random trip to San Diego with nothing but the clothes (swimsuits/cover-ups) we'd been wearing all day at Venice
• Going to the Music Box too many times ;)
• Learning about and growing to love an industry I had never considered before
• Figuring out a little more about the things I like, and those I don't
• Too many good times and so much love shared between new friends, who became the best of
• Kaitlyn Tolin (Toke) moved into our house in the fall, and it became a home.
• Ilona coming to visit from Finland
• Rhoan coming to visit, and bringing some new Aussies into our lives as well
• Arthur coming to visit from France with his luscious curly locks
• Last minute decision to go to San Bern for Halloween weekend and driving, literally, almost the whole Cali coast from SF to San Bern. --Family Reunion w/ the McGeekersons.
• Not getting worked up over school and studies, but instead investing my time in relationships and making memories that will prove to be more beneficial than any lesson they try and teach in a classroom.
• Beginning a blog, that I will use to guide me through the rest of my days

And while there are so many other things, the one that stands out most (possibly because it is the freshest in my mind) is New Year's weekend. I still cannot get over how great it was and how much love continues to flow through our group (via Facebook groups, obviously;). It makes me think, if I feel this kind of love from my friends, then the love that God has for me must be the most overpowering thing in the world. I feel crushed its weight, but lifted up by its greatness all at the same time. And if a group of people can make me feel this way, I have nothing to fear because the love my God has for me is even greater and will carry me through everything! 


Now that I have, once again, released the positive energy and love that is within me out into the universe, I hope it finds its way to you and can help carry you through any hard time you might be facing! When things start to feel hard, just stop moving for a moment, take a deep breath, and say, "We can do it." It is something I have been practicing with vigor the last few weeks, and I have never felt more stable or guided. Sleep well my little loves, we will meet again soon :)


Today's Quote: "All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on." -Henry Ellis

Word.

Airport Adventures

Original time of publish: 11:49am Pacific time. It did something funny w/ html coding and reposted after I corrected it. Now on w/ the good stuff!

Currently I am coming to you live from the Sacramento International Airport (terminal b for all you stalkers out there;). I've never had such an interesting gate experience. There's are seven people in wheelchairs! I look around and feel like I am at a convalescent home rather than the airport. But as long as there is no in-air emergency, I will be perfectly content with the situation.

My family arrived in Phoenix on Saturday, but b/c of work I am just meeting up with them today. In a matter of minutes I will board the plane and be flying sky high to a new place. I am so excited! I've never been to Phoenix or Scottsdale (Arizona at all for that matter), so it only seems natural that after my parents and sister pick me up we would.... go see a movie!? Hahaha. My life. What a trip. Just a peak at what I am a product of. But tomorrow will be eggcellent... For as long as my sister and I can remember, our parents have been telling us they would take us to the Grand Canyon, and it's finally happening!! Woo! I will be sure to write a travelers-post following or during the trip :)

But for now I will leave you with this... The celebrations that follow graduating are amazing and I am so happy I've been able to participate in the debauchery two semesters in a row. Hehe. And a big shout out to LA Riots, who performed in humble Chico on Friday at the El Rey and KILLED it. Small crowd w/ a lot of power, keep it up Cheeks!

I will be sure to put up a sentimental post about finishing school when I am not writing from a phone.

Today's Quote: "LIVE IT UP!!!"