Something I Really Don't Understand

I know you're all just dying for me to write about Rome and the little Italian towns I visited over the long weekend, but first I must write about something that came to me last night, and has left me pondering a bit since, stumped in utter confusion, and feeling strangely speechless. Well, except for all the words to come...

If you've been following along on Instagram (a_fedorio), Facebook, or here, you know I've been traveling quite a lot this school year. So far in 2015, I've caught 15 flights, been to five new countries and over 15 new cities, and have a lot more traveling coming up/planned/in mind. It is my passion, it is what ignites my fire, it is the thing that makes me feel like I am being my best self as often as humanly possible, and it truly is what I organize my life around. I have found "my thing," and plan to dedicate as much of my time, energy, money, thought and existence to it as I can. Why would I do anything other than that? It would be silly for me to know what my passion is, know what I want to do, know what makes me truly happy, and then choose not to do it, and/but instead revolve around other things, right? But unfortunately, that is exactly what so many people do in life, and that is the question and instance I've been left unable to fathom.

Last night, I had a moment of thinking, "Oh my gosh, I am still here for four more weeks, how can I wait that long to get on to doing what I love to do most?" Because, at the end of four weeks, I'm going to begin a 7-week trip, and it will lead into the next adventure -- living/working in California for a little, and traveling around the States -- which will then lead into honestly, a whole life designed around being able to live out of a backpack and travel all the time. Now, I realize four weeks is very little time, and considering this week is already half-way through, I actually have even less than that. But still, when I know what I want to do with my life, why, and better how, can I spend any of my time and energy on anything else?? But that's what most people do, isn't it?

This morning, I decided to live each day like I'm on vacation, because really, with only four weeks left in my school year, and every other thing coming set to only last 5-6 months unless I chose/want more, everyday might as well be a holiday, and every moment might as well be enjoyed to the max! Time on Earth is a gift, and I shan't be wasting mine with unhappiness and things I can't infuse with passion. No way, no thanks.

And yet, there are so many people out there that continue to put up with situations that don't make them happy, and I just can't understand it! If I'm struggling to accept I've gotta stick around for another four weeks, and my situation isn't even one that makes me wildly unhappy, then how does a person who pretty much hates theirs, stick it out for years? Some doing so for their entire lives! 

These situations can be anything -- jobs, relationships, location, activities, whatever -- that makes up a substantial part of your life, that doesn't make you feel happy, satisfied, ignited or impassioned. And there is a ridiculous number of people living within this unhappiness, usually because of fear and/or self-doubt, for extended periods of time, without ever stepping away from it. This I really cannot understand.

But really, truly, above all else, the thing I don't understand are the people who live in these unhappy situations, when they know perfectly well what they want to be doing, what would make them happy, what lights their fire and makes them feel like they are eagles soaring high above it all.

How can you possibly allow yourself to stay somewhere you aren't happy, remain in that existence for years, when you know [perfectly well] what would put a smile in your soul?? How can you keep going head on into something that doesn't make you feel good, when you're aware of what would and/or does? How do you tell yourself whatever it is you tell yourself to stay, so many times, that you remain there for years on end, and allow your dreams to remain just that.. dreams? Why don't you think they should become a reality? What's stopping you???

{{ Input is welcome, encouraged, and really requested, 

because I'd love to understand this apparent epidemic. }}

Perhaps I'm lucky because I've created my own reality and decided to be a little selfish, live out my dreams, and break the chains, but I do believe every single person on Earth deserves to live and feel happy about their life and what's around them. We have dreams for a reason: so we can chase them, turn them into reality, and relish in them as often as possible. If we lived in a dreamless world, so little of what we know today would even be. Nothing would be as it is. It's dreams that have got us here, and it's dreams that will get us out, take us through, keep us going, and make what's next. So why not make it be your dream?

YOU DESERVE TO MAKE YOUR OWN REALITY AND LIVE YOUR DREAMS!

Sending you support, encouragement, love, light, blessings, and an endless capacity to dream AND believe!

I love you family,

Allie-Sun <3 

Allow Yourself to Embrace Your...

Writing a book has been something I've wanted to do for longer than I'd like to admit. It's also a dream I suppressed so much, and felt so strange about, that I actually couldn't really admit how long I've wanted to be a published author if I wanted to, since every time I thought about it, I immediately denied myself the pleasure of indulging in the dream. Instead, the instant it entered my mind, it was followed with excuses why it wouldn't make sense. My mind would flood with thoughts like, "Do you really think you can write a book?" "Who would even read it?" "What would you write about?" "Do you honestly think you have enough to say to write a book?" "Who do you think you are anyways? That's pretty egotistical of you, don't you think? You must really believe you're something or someone if you think you could write a book and be successful." Or, "Don't give yourself so much credit," and any number of other negative, discouraging things. And I'm not sure when I decided to just shut all that down with a big, "SCREW YOU! I'm going to do this even if no one reads it! I'm doing it for me, because I want to, because it's MY dream, and one I truly do have the power to fulfill, regardless of the outcome! I am doing this for me. I'm going for this one! It's time for you fears to STEP ASIDE!!!"

I know to a lot of people that know me, it seems like I'm living some sort of fearless, bold, dream-chasing life, and I will say, in a lot of ways I am. But the life I'm living feels so incredibly authentic and natural to me, that while I still consider each day and moment a new adventure, I definitely don't have the ability to see myself as brave or out of the ordinary. And while I know I Am an Adventurer, I am still surprised by some of the reactions, responses and encouraging words people pass my way. This is simply my path, and I'm fulfilling it. That's what we're meant to do, right? Just as someone who has a burning fire for education goes on to teach, and do an amazing job at it. I happened to draw Adventurer and Explorer when I reached into the bag, that's all.

So while it may seem to you all that I've been living my dreams and making my life exactly what I want it to be, which don't get me wrong, I definitely have been, but to level with you, I've still been holding a lot in. There are still so many things I'm too scared to do or try, so many things I want to learn, see, become, and attempt, and I'm sure there's an endless list of them that's buried too deep within me to be reached thus far. Writing a book, especially about my adventures, was one of the things I've been holding back on for too long now, wanting for too long without allowing myself to have it, and the time has come to stop!

Like I said, I don't care if I don't make any money on it. I'm going to self-publish it, and what I will gain from it -- knowing that I decided not to let my fears of failure, judgement, and inadequacy get me down, again, and that I actually have published a book -- are going to be the only payment and reward my satisfied soul will need! And that is what I'm focusing on here, and why I have officially started writing my first book!

It's going to be a biography, which makes me feel incredibly egotistical and self-conscious, but I think my story is a pretty inspiring and adventurous one, and I'd like to share it! I'm starting it back in Los Angeles, where I was in love, living and working before I came here, and then will go through the last couple years. Of course, it could always parlay into into a series of short stories, where I include some of the wildest travel stories I've acquired, and best bits of wisdom I've gained along the way. It's still untitled, less than 10 pages long, and going to keep transforming as I write it, but one thing is for sure: by New Year's 2015, by the time we tick into next year, I will be a self-published author!!!

You hear that UnivEarth!?!?! 

I'M GOING TO BE A PUBLISHED AUTHOR!!!!!! 

(Satan, don't you even try and stop me with all that negative mess you were throwing my way before, this. is. happening!!!)

It can be really hard to admit our dreams, because a lot of people around us tend to try and bring our feet back down to touch the ground. Do you know how many times I heard, "That sounds like a great plan, but it's not very realistic," when I was running around telling everyone my big plan about moving back to Spain? I don't even know how many times; and they were all coming at me from my family! Sometimes, people say this to try and help us, like was the case with my family. They were concerned that I was going to give up an incredible opportunity (I was working for the Disney/ABC Television Group before I moved out here), and what's more, that I was putting all my eggs in one basket that might just break.

Other times, people will try and drop the word "realistic" on you, because they get freaked out when they see someone who is chasing their dreams. And when I say "their dreams", I mean theirs, yours, and everyone-in-between's. Unfortunately, it's all too common for people to try and get other people to chicken out on something they'd be too scared to do themselves. They project their fears and feelings on others, often without realizing it, just grasping for someone to meet them on their level. So when they look bewildered by your plans, ideas, dreams, and goals, and tell you, "It sounds great, but isn't very realistic," just know, they're doing this weird human thing we do, where we try to keep others from having the success we want for ourselves. It's all of our fears that hold us back, triggering, firing, and making us feel badly and insecure, in turn causing us to try and get that other person who seems to be so shining down to our level.

An incredibly wise pastor once said, "If you don't have any enemies, you must not be following Him too closely." He was referring to Jesus, but you can just as easily swap that out for anything -- your dreams, your hopes, your desires, your goals, your wishes, your moral standings, your practices, anything and everything can be switched into that place. In general, people are drawn to those that shine because they're living true to themselves, but there will always be those voices, inside and outside, that try to stop you. Just remember this:

If the pressure's rising, it's probably because you're about to blast off!

I hope you are having a wonderful start to your week, and consider accepting and embracing a dream you might have been pushing aside till now. Give it a shot, just start it somehow, and you'll probably be surprised by the reaction you get from the people you were worried would judge you. I know I have been! 

Happy, happy life and lots of love to all my brothers and sisters out there,

You Are Amazing!

Blessings, Love, Light & Wonder,

Allison <3

Introspection Time

This morning I watched a sermon from Elevation Church in North Carolina. I became obsessed with this church sometime back in October or November, and frequent the website and YouTube channels to watch sermons and listen to worship music. And now, one of the top items on my To Hit List, is an eight day trip to NC, so I can go to Elevation... twice.

I'm going to take a moment to digress, just to address something that tends to be an eyebrow raiser for people. And that is, my religion.

If it hasn't been made apparent in my previous posts, I am here to tell you now, I am a practicing, worshiping, singing, loving, and spreading-the-word kind of Christian. There was an elongated period of time in which religion and my relationship with God were the furthest things from my radar, but in the last three years, I have been regressing -- and of the good kind, to the proper good stuff this time! The last four months have been especially revealing and impactful for me, and I decided that I want to dedicate my life to Christ, and construct my life around Him and what He wants for me. It has definitely not been easy, with all my former habits being generally unaligned with what this relationship requests of me, but I'm persevering in my pursuits of becoming a woman of God. I'm not saying I'm a poster child for Christianity or anything, oh no, no. I've got about a decade's worth of bad habits to overcome, this process takes time. But, I am on my way, and that's what counts. And I'm learning A LOT about myself in the process.

But back to "the point". . . . .

In the sermon, Pastor Steven (whom I recommend all of you listen to, because he is fire!) posed two questions to all of us:

1. What gets your fire going?
2. What are your core convictions? 

(Trigger deep thought and introspection here)

Now, I have a habit of asking myself, "What do you want to do, Allison?" at various moments during the day/week. I do it so I can stop, check in with myself, and determine what it is I'm in the mood for. I've got a lot of hobbies at my disposal, so there's generally something enhancing to choose from, and yes, of course, sometimes the answer comes up, "Watch a movie on YouTube," so that's what I do. I try to do this often, most especially when I can tell I'm being a little erratic and my energy is just flying all over the place, off-center, and somewhat insane. And these questions, especially #1, I have considered so many times in my growing years, I'm not sure how it still stumps me when it is posed. However, considering that I'm entering a major year of change and doing "investing activities for my future," it's incredibly important that I stop, think, and reconsider the question. (And come up with some answers.)

I've been struggling a bit to determine what really gets my fire going, because for some reason, travel, loving people, interacting with people, being and feeling Spiritually liberated, and doing what I feel like doing in the moment, don't seem like good enough answers. Ok, let me rephrase that, they don't seem like inadequate answers, but are they ones that can support me throughout my life and be what I build it up around?  

Travel has always been the thing that I know gets my fire burning the hottest. Travel, and planning things. And while this is all good and great, in life, we tend to have to earn some amount of income in order to make it. So in spite of the fact I'd like to be as sustainable and off-grid as possible, it's still important for me to think about income. To question how I can turn my life into something that centers around travel and planning things, as I should, since it's proven that we are most successful at things when we are passionate about them, but that will also enable me to live without stressing about how I'll get my next meal or flight? (Since this is a question I've often asked myself and the answer always remains the same, I already have lists of things I can do in order to make a life of travel. But that's not really why I am writing this post, so we'll leave it for now.) The next question, "What are your core convictions," is a newer one for me to ask myself. 

There have been many times when I've thought about the kind of person I want to be, which is in essence the same thing, but I'd never heard it said with those words in that order before. So it got me thinking, "What are my core convictions?" And when I ask myself that, the only answer that I can come up with is the following:

I want my life to be an example of what it means to live and love for the Lord, through His love, in His love, and be a beacon of love, light, and positivity wherever I go.
I want people to know me, think of me, and remember me as a happy, loving, kind person, and one with whom the time they spent with me was spent well.
I want to know that when I leave someone's presence, I am leaving it brighter than it was before, and/or have contributed in a positive way to their attitude and time. 

I figure, if I can manage to do that -- live in and spread love, light, gratitude, and positivity -- the rest will fall into place, life will continue to be great, and I'll get to places I didn't even know I wanted to arrive.

I still can't think of anything else I want to do than travel around the world and love them, giving out hugs everywhere I go, and making people feel visible, loved, cherished, and important, while reminding and showing them that yes, there are many reasons to smile and give thanks to God. But I still can't figure out just how that's going to become my full-time occupation. (Although I've already come up with the title/job description: Healing with Hugs Through the Holy Spirit.:) 

One thing I know for sure is, I trust God with all I've got, and I know He'll get me where I'm meant to be, so long as I continue to walk by faith and let the Spirit guide me. And I also know, that since when I close my eyes and think about my future, all I see is me on dirt roads, in crowded places, surrounded by people whose native language is different than mine, bent down, looking into their eyes, and giving them a hug and a big smile because we've shared something special, then that's what will become my reality. It already is in many ways, and I'm grateful for that, but really, really excited to watch my scope grow! 

We've gotta put our energy into making our lives all we want them to be. I know I am not at all keen on spending my Earth Time filling my life with things that don't satisfy and make my soul sing!

So what about you? Have you asked yourself what gets your fire going? Or how about what your core convictions are? What kind of person do you want to be? And what are you doing to be him/her and accomplish all your dreams? 

These are some of the most important questions you or anyone will ever ask in your lifetime, and are meant to be considered and answers honored. We have one shot at life on Earth, one chance to live a life that satisfies our souls, so don't let it go to waste, working for a better future that will give you the time/money/etc you need to do what you want to do now. Opportunities are everywhere, don't let anyone tell you they are scarce. And remember, they're even more prevalent when you're chasing your dreams and living your life passionately. NIKE!

I'm sending you strength, love, light, and everything good and pure in the Universe. I hope it finds you easily, and blesses your days beautifully. 

Endless 

Blessings, Love & Light

From Above

<3

Opportunities Always Knock

Growing up and entering the job market usually means hearing something about "opportunities knocking on the door" at least a couple times. We have it in our heads that when an appealing opportunity comes knocking, we should jump on it, because it probably won't be coming around again, and maybe no others will either. But I am here to debunk that one, because for one, I've never agreed, and two, now that I have long since made the choice to say, "actually, I think it will, and if not, I'll make it," and follow my dreams, I have figured out that it will if I approach it and/or want it to! I've also come to figure out that other, probably more perfect opportunities will come knocking, that will be developed by the experiences, growth, and knowledge you gain through shutting some doors, while deciding to walk through others.

When I was trying to decide if I would accept my placement to come to Spain as a language and culture assistant, I was working in Burbank/Los Angeles for the Disney/ABC Television Group (DATG); a Fortune 100 company, a highly sought-after employer, and one of the best known names around the world, synonymous with entertainment and Mickey Mouse. I had a job in a company that people could only dream of working for, and was making connections with high-level executives, directors, managers, and people across the boards. I was in a very blessed position, and on a path that many hope to find themselves on in life. I was going to red carpet events, premieres, press junkets, seeing Hollywood stars, in charge of the weekly employee electronic newspaper that's sent to thousands of people, helping with events and payment of major checks, and in one of the highest grossing industries on the planet, with one of the top companies in that industry.

Now, as much as it could seem like it, I'm not saying these things to be vain or brag. I'm saying them to paint a picture for you, so you realize what I "gave up" when I decided to stop looking for a new role in the company, and instead move to Spain, to a city where I knew no one, and a country where I could barely communicate, to make just 700€ a month, as an assistant teacher, in a high school. For these, and select other reasons, it was the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my life to-date.

I talked to various people in my family when I found out I had been accepted, and one of the things that a lot of people reminded me of was that I currently was in a very blessed position; a position and shot that most people would kill for, and it would be wise to consider if it would be worth it to give it up just for one year abroad, in hopes of whatever growth and satisfaction I was after. (I don't think they really realized I wasn't just thinking of leaving the country for a year, but that it would be the year that would begin years of living abroad and travel.) I still remember being told that the position I was currently in wasn't an easy one to get into, and that the kinds of opportunities that were in front of me at the time, weren't the kind that would wait for me to get back. They were the kind that get passed off to the next qualified and wanting person, and would likely not end up on my doorstep again in the future. I was told that by the time I came back, things would have probably changed too much, I'd likely be too far behind the game by then, and I probably wouldn't be a good candidate for hire. And of course, I was told that it wasn't very realistic (any/all of it).

As a 23-year old recent college grad who didn't really know what she wanted to do with her life, hearing things like that definitely made me stop, and gave me something to consider. I didn't really believe anything that they said, what with my head being so hard and my will so strong, but considering that I was young and new, and they were "old" and experienced, I figured it was advice worth thinking about.

In the end, I decided that while opportunities like those don't wait on the doorstep, but instead move onto the next one, it wouldn't be the end of opportunities for me. And, clearly I made the choice to come, since I'm writing this from Sevilla, Spain, where I was placed in in October of 2012, and have been living and working since January of 2013. 

Oh yeah, and did I mention that I applied for a third year, have been assigned a different school in a different city for the coming year, and possibly going to accept the placement? Or that if I don't accept this placement and go, the other ideas I'm flirting with are:

1. Stay in Sevilla and just work in the academy again
2. Go to Lima, Peru to teach
3. Go to Hawaii to WWOOF (work on organic farms and connect with natural healers)
4. Anything else that comes to me in the next 3.5 weeks before I leave for Cali (a new idea, usually that involves a new continent, seems to find its way into my mind each week)

I know a lot of people who want to travel, want to change their lives, try something new, and move to a new place, but don't because they realize how blessed their current position is, and are fearful of not being able to regain any ground they "lose" while they're abroad or trying something different. But if there's anything I've learned while I've been abroad, it's been that so many people make the big choice to drop everything and move away. It's not as uncommon as society makes it out to be. And, even more, those people, if they do decide to return to a life similar to the one they had before, they don't find it hard to integrate and get into a role that's just as good (or better) as where they were before. 

There is absolutely no way to know what will happen in the future. We'll never know what we'll win, lose, miss, gain, have, find, or fail. But there's one thing that's for sure, if there's something you want to do and try, JUST DO IT! You'll never know what reward
s will come if you don't give it a shot! And as a quote I once read goes, "Stop thinking of what could go wrong, and think of what could go right."

Get out there and live your life the way you want, the way that makes you happy! There's only one of them you get to live, and time is finite. Don't waste it on unhappiness and dreams that are never pursued! GO LIVE BIG!

Sending charged up energy of determination and drive your way! Passing you all the power you need to do anything that faces you on this day and those to come! And hoping that you take a big chance and leap towards the life you dream of! 

Blessings, Love & MAJOR Light to all!! 

<3

Get On My Spain Game / Day Dreamin'

The latest news in regards to my trip to Spain is this: I still don't know if I'll be going. LOL, I know, a bit redundant  but that is really where I'm at, where I've been, and where I presume I'll continue to be until I get my CBC (criminal background check) back from the FBI...in West Virginia...where I sent it the day before Sandy. (Makes a little more sense now why the news hasn't really changed, huh?)

But in other, new news, my friend Megan told me that the program adviser for our study abroad program in Bilbao was looking for an au-pair to come in January and help his kids further their English-speaking skills, which would match up perfectly if I can't go to Sevilla. Sure my flight might be to Sevilla, but getting from one end of Spain to another is much easier (cheaper) than it is to get from just Sacramento to Los Angeles. But before I could tell Megan to tell Ibon that I want the job, I needed to see if I could still go to Sevilla or not. So I followed up with the program in Sevilla to make sure that it's okay for me to go in January. I'm not sure it will take me until January to have my visa, but to be honest, I'm thinking giving myself two months for all of this to work out was a good idea considering that we're already in mid-November. They said it's okay for me to go that late, it is just unfortunate, but hey, what can we do? I screwed up royally in the beginning, and now I shall reap the consequences and uncertainties. 

I really am not sure if this is going to end up happening for me at all at this point. Now, I know I'm one of the biggest promoters of positive thinking, manifestation, and getting what you want, but I really am not sure if this is right...still...big surprise. I haven't been manifesting anything lately, or even trying to. I've just been a sitting duck here in Stockton, not really sure what I want to do, should do, or am called to do. It's a really weird place to be considering that I graduated and got a job at a great company already, and it's almost like I'm moving backwards now.  

Today I went on a very long walk on the levee by my house that is a perfect place to think and be with nature, and over-sized homes in the gated community near my neighborhood. I didn't have my phone, didn't have any music, just me, an apple, a Klean Kanteen, God, and my thoughts. I spent a lot of time thinking, reviewing, deciding, and trying to figure out what it is that I'm going to do. One thing is for sure: I will never figure it out sitting here. If I continue to stay here stagnant, I will never figure it out or find out. I have to get out, but to where, I do not know, and that is the frustrating part.

Today's Thought: There are so many different possibilities of things I could do, be, and see, and I want to experience it all. That doesn't make it easy to find a profession and stick with it, so I really do have to create my own. (Anyone want to pay me to be their happy companion and just keep them company and smiling?) Another thing I realized, even further, is that I don't care what it is, just being outside is where I am supposed to be. The sky is so big, there's plenty of room for all my thoughts to go, wander, bounce, and fill. 

Enjoy your life. As long as it makes you happy and isn't hurting anyone else, just do it. :) 

Reality, Check!

I am more than proud and excited to say that I only have one final remaining! Tomorrow morning at 10am I will be presented with the last college exam of my life!! And as I sit here at our student recreation center (Wrec), laptop open, trying to study for the upcoming final, I suddenly realized that my life as I've known it for the last 4.5 years ends tomorrow. But with that realization comes one that the rest of my life will truly begin tomorrow! Everything I've become used to as my reality will be changed and replaced. It's a scary thought, a strange thought, a confusing and unbelievable thought, but also an incredibly exciting one. But if I'm being completely honest, as I promise to always be with you, the feelings of excitement I used to feel are no where to be found at the current moment. They are replaced by feelings of fear and uncertainty. Fear that my life may not work out in the way I hope it will, and uncertainty because I know the things I want in life are among the biggest of all dreams. However, it is in my nature to believe that I can make anything happen and achieve whatever I set out to, so my optimism will return and I will be overtaken by the knowledge that I've held onto for the last few months: God has an incredibly big plan for my life. I do not yet know what it is, where it will take me, or anything that it might involve, but I do know that it is great and will be worth while. We're going to do very big things together and make a positive impact and change on this wonderful world He's created. 


And now that I've once again used this blog as a self-help/calming sesh, I will return to my studies. One of my roommates has hit the landmark I will reach tomorrow (completion of undergrad studies) and we are celebrating tonight! Which means I need to get all my studying in now so I can really let loose and help her celebrate the beginning of the rest of her life!


Today's quote is one that I use, and will always use, to help me stay on track and keep my ultimate goal in mind (ultimate goal being to make a positive change in the world, help people, and help guide the world towards peace and unity): "Be the change you wish to see in the world." -Gandhi 

Absolutely Wretched.

Alright, so I'm not sure why I am soooo incredibly bad at this whole blogging thing, other than to say that, I am living my life, and doing it in quite a lazy fashion. I will be setting a new goal for myself, and that is to write a new blog entry simply once a week (which in Allison-land, means we're lucky to get one every two). I am going to mark it on my calendar, and try to put out a new post every Sunday. Sunday will become my day of accomplishments (pending my weekly-changing work schedule). 

ADD Drift: Growing up I went to summer camp and we were instructed to create a "camp name." These names were supposed to include our real names somehow, but be creative and made-up. I went into the first day of my first year with no camp name, but was given one on my first night by a fellow, and might I add, more creative camper. She deemed me "Allison-Wonderland," coming from none other than "Alice in Wonderland." I never could have known how appropriate this would prove to be to my life, since I tend to live in "wonderland" and "Allison-land." And now back on track!

Update: Currently I am back on my ADD medication! But fear not, the ADD drifts and randomness that is my life will not fade! I have got to finish out the semester strong and focused, and trying to do so without my meds was proving not to be the wisest of choices. So it has been one week (perhaps two??), and I am not sure how much of a difference I feel. Although I'm sure it would help if I could remember to take it every day. Am I sounding like an 80-year old? Because I certainly have been feeling like one! My mind has left me and become a jumbled mess of fairy tales, dreams, and a constant shift in what I would like to do with my future. 

My current conclusion: Be a travel writer/blogger! And then form an organization whose purpose is to help other people and make a positive change/difference in the world!

I presume that there are many of you out there, hanging on my every word, depressed beyond belief when I take my 3 week leaves and give you nothing, but ecstatic and loving me right back once I give you something to read. (As we can see, I like to use my imagination, but hey, what is life without dreams!?) So it is you that I will depend on to help me gain fame and recognition, which will ultimately help me gain funding to do charitable work with my life. And as I have decided that there are without a doubt many of you out there wondering what I will do with my life, here you go! The following would be my ideal future (at least for the next few years):

1) Finish everything I need to for school and pass those classes! Included in this is to finally finish my application for Profex (being a teaching assistant in Spain).

2) Save tons of CHEDDA!

I have big plans and they are going to require some capital! I will be done with school in 3 short weeks, and plan to work full-time and save up as much as I can (for the rest of my big plan, of course)!

3) Leave in July for SPAIN! I will begin the hunt for an apartment, and get myself settled in. 

4) Attend TOMORROWLAND in BOOM, Belgium from Friday, July 27-Sunday, July 29!!! Now listen here faithful followers, this is the music festival of all music festivals! I know we in the U.S. have EDC, LovEvolution, Coachella, Ultra, and many, many more, but Tomorrowland is truly special. In a similar fashion to Burning Man, they create a whole new world. And since I plan to be living in Europe in the upcoming year anyways, I figure I might as well get there early, enjoy the European summer, and hit up one of the most epic festivals to hit planet earth!

5) Come October, I will (and please note, that here I would put "hopefully," but as I intend to make all of this happen, I will not be using that word, as it implies a chance of these glorious things not happening) be an English teaching assistant to some cute lil Spanish munchkins (not to imply they are of short-stature)! 

And finally, this will all coincide with my blogging. Which will be about the places I go, the people of those places, their cultures, food, and I will likely use an annoying amount of photos. I will use photos to depict the beauty of the places I see, as well as share some of the sadness. I realize that sharing sad images is not really a conventional way to gain a following, but I have a much larger goal and aspiration: WORLD PEACE.

Call me crazy, but I am determined to do what I can to help guide this wonderful world in a more peaceful and loving direction :) 

So within my traveling and what-not-ing, I hope to connect with people who have the common hope of making a positive difference in the world. (Attention TOMS and similar organizations: If you are reading this, I LOVE what you're doing and would love even more to be a part of it-- HIRE ME!?!)

And now that I have laid it all out, while I feel as though I could continue to write for a while, I will end this entry, and carry the joy of writing into a new day, not one that is 3 weeks away! 

Today's quote comes straight to us from Tomorrowland itself: "Yesterday is history. Today is a gift. Tomorrow is a mystery."

DREAM ON PEOPLE!!!!!