Every End of the Emotional Spectrum

It hit me on Sunday whilst I was in Amsterdam: 

This is my last week in Spain, and I'm not even there right now.

Oh. My. GOSH! O_o

I averted the panic that was trying to sink in, took a deep breath, looked up to God, and returned to the present moment and physical place I was in. I couldn't think about it then, nor can I or should I now.

We tend to do this thing whenever we're alive, where we forget that it's temporary and will have an end date. This causes us to forget to appreciate every single moment, smile in them as often as possible, give thanks for whatever is (whether we like it or not), and just enjoy the ride. I know I did this for some great lengths of time during my stay in Spain. Saying that I've been here for nearly 2 1/2 years isn't any excuse. The period of time you are in a place shouldn't make a difference on your ability to give thanks and accept all that is, because there is only The Now and it is a practice for life.

In an hour I will begin my fourth-to-the-last work day in Spain. I've no idea how many I've had, but I know there have been a lot of them. And now, I am in the middle of saying all my goodbyes, trying to sneak in a final trip to Sevilla, pack all my belongings and filter them through the "Are you making it to the next round of life" question, prepare for my summer travels, and keep myself emotionally pulled together enough through these processes. The reality of my departure is finally starting to sink in.

It's quite a crazy time for me emotionally. I feel and know I am ready for the next thing, that my time here is meant to end, and that I've given it possibly more time than I was meant to. But that doesn't negate the sadness that creeps up on me, and will certainly not stop the tears from gushing forth from my eyes as I am on a bus out of my beloved Andalucia. Add the uncontrollable excitement I feel about the fact I'm going to be moving back to California for a while, and well, I'm living on almost every end of the emotional spectrum right now.

Friends are starting to write me with their excitement about my return, festivals back home are posting relentlessly, reminding me what awaits, and knowing that I get to reconnect with the friends I made over the first 24 years of my life is making my heart sing some pretty amazing songs! It's going to be so hard to leave, but I know what I'm leaving for is quite worth it -- the chance to participate in my family's life, support my friends, perhaps actually attend a wedding instead of just see the pictures on Facebook, hug my grandmother every day, and explore a massive country that I once called home. Yes, it's a wild/exciting/interesting time To Be Alive, and I'm thrilled to Be walking the path that I Am!

As with each new chapter of life we are able to say, "Things will never be the same again," this statement seems to somehow ring truer than it ever might have before. The adventure is not ending my friends, it is simply continuing, and will do so as long as I walk this incredible Earth. I hope you stick with me, and request special prayers and pumps of energy and support as I close out this immeasurably impactful chapter, and begin to write some new ones. :)

Thank you, I love you, I Am here for YOU!

Blessings, Love, Light & Wonder,

Allie-Sun <3 

Puerta O's Hostal Internacional

Note: This post was originally written a few weeks ago when I first moved into my apartment. It is the "first impression post," and will be followed with a new post about what my housing situation has turned out to be like. :) Love life :)

If you are my Facebook friend, then this isn't going to be new information to you, and I'm not sure I actually have any readers who aren't my Facebook friends, so this one goes out to my family. (Hopefully they read my blog... haha.)

I have now been living in sweet Sevilla for one month and ten days. It's been full of little adventures, missteps, getting lost, getting found, and following God. When I first came here, I was graciously offered a place to stay by the family of a friend of mine in Bilbao. It was such a blessing to have an unfamiliar, but familiar, face pick me up from the airport and bring me to the flat, and more than that, to have a place to stay while I got adjusted and settled in. The flat looks out on the river, and was large and beautiful. But, it was too large for just me. I often felt more alone than I needed to, because when I got home, there I was, all alone, in this giant apartment meant for a family of four. I kept the master bedroom and other bedroom doors shut, because to look into the dark, unfamiliar space when I got up in the middle of the night to pee was a bit scary. I also kept the door to the living room, aka "The Fridge," closed, because it was like a giant snow globe and I only entered it to exercise. (Shout out to my amazing FestiFam, can't even write the word "snow globe" without thinking about them, smiling, and getting a warm, powerful feeling of love sweeping over me! Love you guys, miss you all, come soon my beautiful soul stars!) So I pretty much confined myself to the room I was staying in, the bathroom, and the kitchen.

The time I spent there was very nice. It gave me a chance to really dive in deep to my relationship with God, talk to Him often, and as usual, talk to myself. Many-a-dance sessions were had in the flat; some headbanging went on that left my neck sore for days, and some conversations with myself that left me cracking up crying. All in all, it was a good time, but I needed to make connections with other people and begin to live a life full of interaction and Spanish.

I looked only at two apartments before making my decision, partly because I don't speak enough Spanish to want to go and have partial conversations with countless people, trying to figure out if I like them, and understand all they say, and partly because since I started and ended college, I've moved 12 times and do not have the energy or motivation for house hunting, especially when just for five months. So, I didn't really try too hard, and figured I'd just do what I always do, and follow my heart and soul. I put my profile up on a website and was flooded with emails. I looked at pictures of the flats and the locations on the map, so I guess you could say I tried hard (hah), but I only actually went and saw two in person.

The first was on a street that gave me the creeps and had me thinking, "Law & Order episode." The flat wasn't very large, and the room I would have taken was completely fun-sized, with a bed that could flip up against the wall and all! But, the benefit to this place was that three Spanish girls lived there who don't speak English. They seemed incredibly nice, and a friend of mine went with me, and verified this fact, so I know it wasn't just because we had a language barrier that I thought that. And as they say, actions speak louder than words, and they really do! Especially when you can't fully communicate with words, they speak volumes, so the tray of coffee and magdalenas (muffins) said a lot about their kindness. They even had a poster of a VW van that said "California!" It gave me good vibes, but in the end, I didn't choose this place.

I am now living in an international hostel. Not really, but basically. When I came to visit the place, I met a gal from Spain and a guy from Uruguay (who's lived here 11 years), and was told that the other girl was from England. There was some dog food on the terrace, so I asked if they had a dog, and I was told that no, but the girl from England's boyfriend does, and that it was there some nights, some nights not. So naturally, I figured that meant the bf was too. The flat itself is quite large, and it has a nice big area that we can hang out on outside (balcony/terrace/whatever). The guy saw my fork-ring and showed me some hair pieces he makes out of spoons, and the girl also makes jewelry. I picked up on the super hippie vibe, and was a little intimidated, but also stoked. So, after a couple weeks of debating with myself, I decided to move in. The location was on point, and I liked the people.

I started to move my things over on Saturday (the ninth), and when I brought over my first load, I was quite surprised by what I learned...

TWO Brits, one Uruguayan, TWO Spaniards, myself, and a dog. Instead of the original one Brit that I was aware of, another girl came out of the room across the hall from mine, also from England. And instead of the bf and the dog being here some nights, they live here always (he's the other Spaniard). And instead of the house constantly speaking Spanish because the original Brit I knew about is fluent, there are actually more of us that speak English than Spanish (as a first language). Which is good because I can't have too much conversation in Spanish, but bad because I need to be able to, and now, there's more English being spoken than I thought there would be. Oh yeah, and I learned that the gal from Spain and the guy from Uruguay are actually a couple and share a room, not "two of my three roommates." That one took a couple days for me to figure out.

So the situation is pretty much the opposite of what I expected I was going to get. I don't want to say that I was tricked, but that's almost how it feels. Instead of four, we are six and a dog, and instead of only Spanish + English when I'm asking how to say something, it's take your pick, but mostly English. The redeeming factor in it all is that I really do like these people, we have similar interests, or they know about things I'd like to learn, and everyone is really clean, so the place is actually better kept than in homes I've lived with fewer people and no dog.

Of course, it's entirely possible that I just didn't understand everything, but I am pretty certain that some of the bigger factors (two instead of one, permanent instead of part-time) aren't things I simply misunderstood. I know I'm here for a reason, and I know that this is going to be great, it's just a matter of adapting and waiting to find out what it is. Like I said, I really like the people that I'm living with (what I know, see, and feel so far), and there's a reason why I didn't know that it would be the way it is, because if I did, I wouldn't have moved in. Obviously this is where God wants me to be, or I would have known it all from the start. It's a great lesson in patience, waiting to see the end result and look back thinking, "best decision ever."

And I can learn Spanish, but also speak English when Spanish becomes too exhausting, and I can learn how to do some cool, creative, healthy, crafty things along the way as well. It really is a good situation, especially because everyone is clean. So this, this is great. :)

Today's Thoughts: We can think all the ideas, images, and thoughts we want in our heads about a situation and our lives, but we have to remember, we're not actually in charge. We can control just about everything through our thoughts, but in the end, God's got the final word, and sometimes, all those visualizations, don't actually come to be real life (when we expect them to). And in these cases, we have to know, it's for the better, and what will come in the end will surpass all of our previously thought thoughts and visualizations. "Don't worry about a thing, 'cause every little thing's, gonna be alright." -Bob <3

Scared, Surreal, Sublime

Hello again my lovely friends and family, and to all of you that I do not know but who read this, thank you, and you are beautiful (never forget it)!

Now I am settled into the apartment that I will be living in until at least June, have internet, and can catch up on some posts that are long over-due. Again, I have so much I want to write about, and feel I need to write about, to get you (and my blog) up to speed on my life. I think I'll start at the beginning though, and then come back to my housing situation. I've already written a post about it, which I will post up as the "initial/first impression" post, and then make amendments as the months pass on and I learn, grow, and love more. :)

But for now, there is something I want to share with you that I wrote on the airplanes coming over here. It's in the notebook I often use to write poetry, thoughts, and entries. This entry is dated from 10/01/2013 (the day that I was arriving in Spain last month, 10th of Jan.)...

Scared. Surreal. Sublime.

Initially, FREAKING OUT. 

Questioning if I could even do this.

What was I thinking?

Almost screaming, "TURN THE PLANE AROUND!! I have to get off, I can't do this!!" As if it were a ride at a theme park.

Nope, hunny, this is now your life. 

Satan was getting in my head, making me think I'm not strong enough, brave enough, or capable at all. 

And you know what?

That means I'm on a hot trail, and on the brink of doing the right thing, and something big.

They always say that if your dreams don't scare you, they aren't big enough. 

Well, I think it goes the same for everything in life. If it doesn't scare you at least a little, you're taking the easy route or the easy way out. 

Life isn't supposed to be fearless. It's good to get the blood pumping every once in a while, otherwise, you're killing yourself. Our minds, bodies, and souls were created to do great things. We can't deny them that opportunity because we choose to live in fear instead. 

I actually think the word "innate" needs to be used here. When something is innate, it means that it is inborn, natural, and originating in the mind. I think it is an innate desire of our souls to do something big and impactful with our lives. I've yet to see a baby that isn't curious about everything that goes on around it, so where does that curiosity go?

I know a lot of us remain those curious beings, wandering off from the group to look or observe, questioning constantly, seeking and finding, just to seek again. So what about the rest? 

I know too many people that have the same wants I do, for a life of adventure and travel; wants for the life that I am about to begin living, but they have fallen prey to societal bounds. They've become so paralyzed by their fear for breaking the mold, that they don't realize how much they're suffocating. 

On the upside, at least many of them still enjoy their lives. They are happy, like their friends, families if they're at that stage in life, and even like their jobs. But you know what? Not a single one of them said, "man, I'm so glad I never did something like you're doing," or, "if I was your age and had the choice, I'd go corporate and start your work life." No, not a single person said I shouldn't do this. But everyone of them said they wished they had. 

[So yeah, it's great if you are living a life you love, that's what it's all about. "Love the life you live, live the life you love." As long as you enjoy your blessed and gifted time on earth, then you're good doing what you're doing. But life's certainly not about looking back and wishing you'd done things you didn't. That's the worst thing a person can do, hold regrets about their own life. (This portion is in parenthesis because it wasn't originally in what I wrote on the 10th, but is a very important note. I've left what I wrote in it's original format, and unedited to let the emotions of the moment shine through more.)]

My 2012 resolution was to live my life with no regrets, and so far, I've done a killer job. A few things here and there I would have done differently, but when I look back, I'm pleased. But pleased and really satisfied are a far cry from the same thing.

Here I talked about my 2012. My 2012 kicked butt. I lived it up, drank it down, grew a lot, and rocked out hard, but as I said in that post, I want more. 

I want more than festivals and raves and the same experience in a variation over and over again. No, 2013 is all about having those experiences, in other countries, and then some!

See, now this is why they are ADD Adventures, I was going to write about the three feelings I've spent most of the last 30 hours with, and instead, I ended up with this. Haha. 

I'll pick up at the end of scared... Actually, I think terrified beyond belief is better. I was really questioning myself and what I was thinking doing something like this. I was sad too though. To be leaving my family and friends behind was a hard pill to swallow. I've gotten used to being with my family, and knowing we would be so far away was killing me inside. 

Luckily, "Pitch Perfect" was the film they showed during the SF to Chicago leg. I was so happy when they said that would be the film. I needed those laughs so much, and had been wanting to see it again. (If you haven't already, you should watch it, it is hilarious.) God was looking out for me on that one!

So the first flight I enjoyed "scared shitless" and "sad."

By the time I was on the plane to Madrid from Chicago (a quick hour between this and the first leg), surreal had sunk in. I sat there, completely bewildered, that this plane would be taking me to Spain. Then, the more I thought about it, the excitement started to sink in. 

[I was actually going back. The thought, the thing, the life I had been craving, thinking, wanting, manifesting, and hoping for almost every single day for two and a half years, was finally going to be mine once more. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I was sitting on a plane, bags packed, moving back to Spain. It's one of the craziest realities I've accepted so far.]

The self-assured-ness that I'd been feeling came rushing back, and immediately my mentality switched. I am moving back to Spain. Wow. I still can't believe it's actually happening  And now, I will land in Madrid in less than 40 minutes, and I am feeling like I'm on the upward climb, peddling my heart out, to sublime. 

Side note -- I'll feel even closer to sublime after I brush my teeth and change my socks. Haha. 

A life full of new experiences starts right now. LEGGO!

                                                                                                                           

So, as you can see, I'm not really as brave as many people told me I am. I am in the sense that I actually did this, am here, and am living it, but it's not like I'm some superhero with no fears (how great would that be!?). I'm human, I am scared, and I'm still not completely comfortable, but I'm getting there. I really had to tell myself that it isn't acceptable, or going to work, to scream for them to turn the plane around and let me out. I kept picturing my amazing dad standing there outside security, watching me inch closer and closer to the point of no return, waving and working his way up the stairs and out, as I worked my way forward and on. It still makes me cry (as I now am) when I think about, picture and feel that, but it also makes me remember how blessed and fortunate I am to even have this option. 

That was one heck of a roller-coaster I was on for about 28 hours (traveling here), and it still is one. I've had two mental breakdowns since I got here, and doubted myself more times than I can count. But it's these moments of fear, questioning, and doubt, they have also brought strength, assurance, and confidence. If I wasn't on a hot trail for God and goodness, Satan wouldn't be trying so dang hard to make me think I can't, so I'm going to keep on keepin' on!

Today's Thoughts: I've come a long way since the stupid kid I was my senior year in high school or the party girl I was for so long. I'm really proud of who I've become, what I want to do with my life, and what I'm doing. I hope that each and every one of you gets to this point, because it's the only way to live your life -- constantly loving on yourself, so you can project it out to others. Live well, be well, and as always, MAKE YOUR OWN REALITY! 

<3 Love, blessings, and excessive amounts of joy to all! <3

Looking Forward

My big move back to Spain is happening in just three days! Three days, THREE days, Three DAYS, THREE DAYS! Three, three, three! Ok, I'm done, I'm sorry, but I'm starting to feel the reality of it all aka freak-out-a-little-bit-when-I-think-about-it-too-much (like I clearly am right now).

I remember when I first found out my visa wasn't going to be ready in time for my November 9th flight and I had to reschedule my flight, leaving it for the 9th of January. That was a hard pill to swallow...semi-dreadful too. I remember thinking, "Oh my goodness, how am I going to survive two more months of living at home with nothing to do!?" I was going to be leaving the country, so there was no reason to look for a job, and I didn't really know what I wanted to get into while I was here, knowing I would be leaving so soon, so I kind of did nothing. (With the exception of hanging out with my grandma a couple times a week, which was awesome in many ways.) But, now, the time has come for me to pack up, ship out, and move forward.

And while the whole thought of moving to a city I've only briefly visited, essentially by myself, is incredibly frightening, it's also very appealing. It's exactly the kind of thing I envisioned myself doing -- going out and traveling a path traveled only by me, and letting my life happen according to nature and God's design. It's going to be the beginning of the rest of my life in a way, and I'm incredibly curious to see what happens. There's a lot to look forward to, but also a lot I will miss.

I've grown used to being with my family and being surrounded by them, and now I am going to embark on a journey all by myself. I will miss my friends and family so very much, and miss being in a familiar place where I know the in's and out's. I am entering unknown territory, but I'm strangely comfortable with that. But while there are many things I'm going to miss, there are also many things I'm looking forward to, like. . .

**Getting back out on my own, which means.... my diet is back under my control (which means my weight will also get under control). Living at home I have some control over what I'm eating, but because it's not just me on my own, I am subject to many things I normally don't buy for myself (ie. white rice and take out food). Also, as much as I adore hanging out with my grandma, eating out so many times a week is really taking its toll. I have gained 10 pounds in the last three months of being home, which is only five pounds less than I gained in the whole nine months I was abroad before. (Luckily I stared out 12 lbs. lighter than I was then, so I've really just gotten back to what used to be my standard weight.) Yikes. So I am absolutely looking forward to getting back into a cleaner-eating lifestyle. No white rice, no daily desserts, lots of small meals each day instead of two or three giant ones, and way more produce!

**Another big thing that I'm looking forward to about this year/move: NO TV! Weeellll, I probably shouldn't say no, but very little, and far less than in the last three months. The last time I was abroad, I didn't watch the television at all. We didn't have cable, I couldn't understand the programming, and what I could tell, it was not good. Of course there were the online movies or movies on computers that were watched, but the TV intake was incredibly minimal. Here, because 1,000 cable channels are available and I have very little to do, TV watching is at an all-time high. I am a total addict, and I'm looking forward to returning to a life without it. When I lived in L.A. I didn't have cable, and when I got home from work I would sew clothes, cut them up, design, and do other crafty things. No TV = better, more creative me. No more couch potato kicks off in THREE DAYS! 

**And then there are of course the things like, getting to know a new culture, enjoying a new part of the world, traveling, learning from other people and about other people, and returning to a life of travel, experience, and enhancement, which I will get into in a different post, because this one is getting a bit long, and those things I am so excited about, that they require more text than I'd give them right now.

I have always been number 13 in all the sports I've played for the last 12 years, so I know that 2013 is my year without a doubt! Some may think the number unlucky, but I'm quite pleased with my life and how I've performed in sports, so I have no fear. (Although I do hold certain other superstitions.) I can't wait to see what it brings, what happens, where my life goes, and how everything I've been manifesting comes to be reality. I hope you'll continue to join me on this journey, and please spread the word -- I'm hoping to snag a travel writing job somewhere along the way! :) 

Today's Thoughts: Go out there and do it! If you live in fear, you're probably not really living at all. Take chances, do things that scare you, and do not worry about what could go wrong, because there are so many things that could go right! 

~WE ARE ONE~ Listen, Love, & Never Judge ~ 

Reflecting on the First Time

For almost two and a half years now I have been plotting how I would return to Spain. I was in Bilbao, Spain, from September 2009 through May 2010, living, studying, traveling, and learning. It was the best nine months that I could have hoped for, and since my tearful return to the U.S., I have thought almost daily about how I could go back and resume my European life and cultural expansion.

I still remember being on the plane coming home. The moment that we were above U.S. soil and I saw it and realized that I was really back, I started to bawl. I was heartbroken that the life I had created in Spain was now just a memory and a thing of the past, no longer my reality. It was a hard adjustment. Coming back to the life I had known to be mine, but trying to live it while feeling like a different person. Most everything around me had stayed the same while I was gone, but I had changed more than I could have imagined. I grew up, matured, expanded my horizons, and welcomed a global perspective and new way of thinking and living. I had visited seven countries, made friends from two or three times that many, and lived a life full of experiences rich in culture and knowledge that few are blessed with.

Thinking back on it all, it still seems like such a surreal time. I look at pictures and am reminded of all the great times I had, and great people that I met. They take me back to that time and place and I can see and feel everything from that moment. But then, weeks pass, and I forget about the experiences that I've had and the blessings that have been laid upon me. It's that feeling that has compelled me not to give up hope of returning to Spain and to a life full of travel, culture, interaction, and learning.

I seek a life full of adventure. A life with purpose. A life that benefits others and changes lives for the better. And that is what I will accomplish and find when I begin this next adventure to Spain. I want to get to know people, study how they live, learn what they do, and why, and assimilate myself to their culture. I want to get to know them, find out their greatest needs, and figure out innovative ways to help them. I know it's a curious path I desire to travel, but that is why I know it is the right one for me.

In 20 days I will on a plane, moving back to Spain. This time, I travel to Sevilla, a city where I know very few people. I will be embarking on this journey by myself, with only God to guide me. It is a terrifying thought, but also an exhilarating one, and one I welcome. My life might have been on a bit of a hold these past few months, but I know it's just because things are about to take off and all my manifestations are going to begin to take form. World, I hope you are ready for some change, because here it comes!

Today's Thought: As the time for me to board draws nearer, I am overwhelmed with a mix of emotions, but know without a doubt everything will be great. It is because I think this way, that it will be so. Remember to make your own destiny, make your own reality, and always manifest the best!

2012, A Year To Remember

This morning when I went on Facebook, it gave me the option to see my 2012 in review. Naturally, I clicked it to see what it would say, and the following items were what I was shown:

• The photo album I posted after last year's SnowGlobe Music Festival (NYE in South Lake Tahoe)
• The day that Steven and I became Facebook friends after we met at said NYE festival
• My birthday on February 26 when many beloved friends of mine wished me well
• When I started working at the Disney/ABC Television Group in March
• A glorious trip to Vegas that I took with some of my closest to see Bassnectar and celebrate my birthday, my birthday twin's birthday, and our Papa Bear's birthday
• The end of the job I started at DATG in March, and the start of a new position there
• Photos and video from Coachella with the Famaree
• Photos from the utterly life-changing Lightning in a Bottle experience that I shared with some of my favorites, new and old
• Photos from my fifth and last EDC in Las Vegas
• A funny "Brotip" that I shared that states, "Ladies, guys are sick of hearing you ask where all of the "nice guys" are. They're in the friend zone, where you left them." (So true, by the way.)
• The end of my other job at DATG
• Posts about this year's SnowGlobe Music Festival
• The making of Steven and my relationship "Facebook Official," and it's end
• And the assortment of friends I've added, and pages I've liked

Overall, looking at the year 2012, I see so many good times, with so many dear friends. I am so blessed by the experiences that I've had and the people that I know and have met. I need to remember to say thank you to my Lord far more often than I do. 

Now, because I tend to view things from multiple points of view, I see the amazing life that I have lived and been given and am thankful for it, but at the same time, I see an array of experiences I've had before. 

I love music festivals and music, but do I want all my years to consist of just that? No. While they bring to me a new love for life and remind me that there are peaceful people out there like myself, I know that I want more than just that. With the exception of my jobs and having a boyfriend, Facebook could only find music festivals or raves to show me as highlights of my year. I want more! 

So it is with great joy, overflowing joy, that I tell you that I have finally acquired the final pieces of the puzzle that I needed in order to go to Spain and return to my European life! (Which is even better news, because as I was searching for alternative job options in case I couldn't go to Spain, I realized that none will work for my wild spirit and I just yet.) I am overjoyed and cannot wait to return to the life I have felt pulled to for years. I couldn't be happier, and I haven't felt so right about something in quite a while. Praise be to God! 

Today's Thoughts: I can't wait to see what my "year in review" for 2013 will look like! I have a feeling it's going to be a year I am incredibly proud of. God's plans for us are so much greater than our own. We will never understand His timing, but we must trust it, and not worry, because in the end, everything works out, and if it doesn't, it's not the end. 

It's The Final Countdown

As all of you who have been reading my blog the last couple of months know, I am trying to move back to Spain, but have been having a little bit of a hard time getting my visa squared away. Well folks, I am here to finally present some wonderful news... I now have all of the paperwork in that I need in order for them to issue me a visa!! YAY! Rejoice!

I'll be honest though, I had another moment of doubt when I showed up to the Spanish Consulate yesterday and the gate was closed over the door. I was left, once again, questioning if it was the right choice to make, or if I was supposed to just give up the dream. But I realized, once again, that if you want something badly enough, you will make it happen no matter what. And that is exactly what I'm doing. So I went back to the Consulate today, after calling to make sure they were open, and got it all in to them no fuss. Now, I just have to keep my fingers crossed that I get my passport back by the time my family and I are supposed to be going to Central America on a cruise. I'm pushing the envelope of time again on this one, since the visas usually take 10 days to be issued and received in the mail and we're leaving on the 21st for the cruise. Yikes. But I have hope, faith, and believe that it, as all things in my life seem to, will work out just fine, and just in time. Besides, what's life without a little excitement? :)

It feels like I can really breath again. This process is finally done, now I just have to figure out the funding to survive over there till I get my first check, but that, in comparison to all the hoops I've jumped through till now, seems very slight and I am not going to stress about it. So cheers to accomplishing things and pursuing dreams! Make them large, be in charge, and make it happen!

Today's Thought: Even if I don't end up going to Spain for a variety of things that could come up, I will always be able to know that I tried and did what I could to make it happen, then, if it doesn't work out, I know without a doubt it wasn't meant to be. There are huge things coming in this life of mine, and I am very excited to find out what they are! I hope you'll stick around for the ride. <3

Get On My Spain Game / Day Dreamin'

The latest news in regards to my trip to Spain is this: I still don't know if I'll be going. LOL, I know, a bit redundant  but that is really where I'm at, where I've been, and where I presume I'll continue to be until I get my CBC (criminal background check) back from the FBI...in West Virginia...where I sent it the day before Sandy. (Makes a little more sense now why the news hasn't really changed, huh?)

But in other, new news, my friend Megan told me that the program adviser for our study abroad program in Bilbao was looking for an au-pair to come in January and help his kids further their English-speaking skills, which would match up perfectly if I can't go to Sevilla. Sure my flight might be to Sevilla, but getting from one end of Spain to another is much easier (cheaper) than it is to get from just Sacramento to Los Angeles. But before I could tell Megan to tell Ibon that I want the job, I needed to see if I could still go to Sevilla or not. So I followed up with the program in Sevilla to make sure that it's okay for me to go in January. I'm not sure it will take me until January to have my visa, but to be honest, I'm thinking giving myself two months for all of this to work out was a good idea considering that we're already in mid-November. They said it's okay for me to go that late, it is just unfortunate, but hey, what can we do? I screwed up royally in the beginning, and now I shall reap the consequences and uncertainties. 

I really am not sure if this is going to end up happening for me at all at this point. Now, I know I'm one of the biggest promoters of positive thinking, manifestation, and getting what you want, but I really am not sure if this is right...still...big surprise. I haven't been manifesting anything lately, or even trying to. I've just been a sitting duck here in Stockton, not really sure what I want to do, should do, or am called to do. It's a really weird place to be considering that I graduated and got a job at a great company already, and it's almost like I'm moving backwards now.  

Today I went on a very long walk on the levee by my house that is a perfect place to think and be with nature, and over-sized homes in the gated community near my neighborhood. I didn't have my phone, didn't have any music, just me, an apple, a Klean Kanteen, God, and my thoughts. I spent a lot of time thinking, reviewing, deciding, and trying to figure out what it is that I'm going to do. One thing is for sure: I will never figure it out sitting here. If I continue to stay here stagnant, I will never figure it out or find out. I have to get out, but to where, I do not know, and that is the frustrating part.

Today's Thought: There are so many different possibilities of things I could do, be, and see, and I want to experience it all. That doesn't make it easy to find a profession and stick with it, so I really do have to create my own. (Anyone want to pay me to be their happy companion and just keep them company and smiling?) Another thing I realized, even further, is that I don't care what it is, just being outside is where I am supposed to be. The sky is so big, there's plenty of room for all my thoughts to go, wander, bounce, and fill. 

Enjoy your life. As long as it makes you happy and isn't hurting anyone else, just do it. :) 

Re-Book Business

Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. That is how I can sum up all of this so far. First, let me start by saying, that at the current moment, I should be in an airplane that took off from Chicago, and would land in Madrid, Spain, sometime in the early AM's. Clearly, since I am writing this, I am not.

Yesterday I went through the glorious process of re-booking my flight. I first was going to try and cancel it, and assumed that since I had purchased the trip insurance when I bought the ticket, that it would all work out. Well, let me give you my next piece of advice when you are planning an overseas trip: Do not book/pay for your flight until you know for sure that you will have your visa, or have it, but if you must book the flight ahead of time, do not use a cheap website (online service that gives you price comparisons), or finalize everything until you have really checked out all the details.

I was told not to book the flight itself, but to just get an online booking to present at my visa appointment so they can see my trip itinerary and when I am expected to be flying out/arriving. I should have listened. But instead, I thought that giving the Consulate 12 business days to complete the process and return my passport, visa inside, to me would be plenty of time, so I went ahead and purchased the flight. HUGE, monumental, absolutely massive mistake. Actually, let me clarify, it wouldn't have been such a huge, monumental, absolutely massive mistake had the trip insurance I purchased with the ticket been something that covered any and all reasons why you can't make your flight.

I always use Skyscanner.com to book my flights. I think they are the best website out there that gives you flight comparisons, and they give it to you all in one window, instead of many windows that pop up simultaneously. (For someone with ADD, that is never a good thing.) So, naturally, I used Skyscanner again to look at flight prices and find the one I would use to skip town. It redirected me to the GetawayASAP website, which is actually run by a travel agency of some sort, I think. I booked my flight on this site, and purchased the insurance that comes from a different agency, I guess. Not good.

When I originally contacted the company that I used to book the flight, they told me that there is a $400 fee for cancelling or changing the flight, and that if I got the insurance, then I needed to contact the company who I purchased the insurance from, and ask them to give me the refund. I did this, and came to find out that any, and I mean ANY excuse under the sun counts as ones that you can use to get a full refund for being unable to take your flight, EXCEPT if it's because [you're dealing with government agencies,] and haven't gotten your visa yet. Grrrreatt. I was going to go over-the-top and make up some sort of story about why I couldn't go, but came to realize that I was going to need a flight at some point anyways, so I should just re-book.

I spent from 9:00am till 3:30pm yesterday working on all of this. Looking at different costs for different days, locations, times, and etc for changing the flight, finding the most reasonable one, the best date, best option, and had it down to a flight change to January 9 for less than $260. Not too bad at all. The only problem? I cannot change the flight through the Iberia website, because I used a travel agent (I guess) to book the flight. As if you can even qualify me looking at and comparing flights for myself, on my own, as an agent!

In the end, I contacted GetawayASAP's customer support (who I might add are very responsive and helpful, I would suggest this site because of how great their customer support is) at 3:00 to see what I could do, and realized that God was once again, ultimately, on my side. I was told that I had until 3:30 to cancel, change, or take the flight I already had booked before it was lost or wasted. PHEW! Something good! So I "paid" the $400, and am now am scheduled to fly out on January 9. Whether I am on that flight is entirely up to the FBI, Spanish Consulate, and whatever other agencies I must deal with between now and then. Once again, my best wishes are sent to those on the East Coast dealing with the aftermath of the storms, but I am mostly praying for myself here, because I desperately need the FBI to get me my CBC back. Sorry.

As you can see, this is a perfect guide of exactly what NOT to do when you are trying to move abroad. I hope that lessons can be learned from my unfortunate case of procrastination and self-ruin, so that your travels might be much less stressful and costly than mine.

Today's Thought: If all this ends up happening, I am going to make everyone I meet pat me on the back, because I'll be deserving of some serious pats if I make it over there. This has sucked big time, and I have wanted to give up more often than not, but have not. Which leads me to the main thought: your dreams are not supposed to come easily. I highly doubt it if Bill Gates hit Microsoft's programming in one shot, and I know that Thomas Edison failed over a thousand times before he got the light bulb right, so why should any of our dreams come any easier? It's a hard pill to swallow, especially since all of us want instant gratification and have no concept of this so-called thing they call "patience," but that is how it goes. If you want it badly enough, you'll find a way to make it happen, and stop at nothing before you've done it. And that is what makes thing so much sweeter in the end -- knowing we worked our tails off, cried many times, probably bled a little (ladies), and thought we had failed and would never make it happen, but succeeded in the end. My dreams are too big for this world, but that's why I know they will work. Work hard for what you want, because if you persevere, in the end, you'll be proud.

My City & My Struggles

I have been very bad about keeping up with posts, but once I give you the run-down, you will forgive me, and likely end up feelings quite sorry for me. *Please leave your sympathies in the comment box below ;-)*

Friday morning I woke up around 4am to use the restroom, and when I went and laid back down on my semi-deflated air mattress, I noticed the notification light was blinking on my phone, so, naturally, I had to check what was going on. It was at this time that I saw I had the long-awaited email from the program I plan to go to Spain through -- the email with my city of placement. And when I opened, deciphered (they email all in Spanish), and saw, my heart stopped...Sevilla.

Sevilla is the fourth largest city in Spain, it's in the south, and it is absolutely amazing. I was blessed enough to go there over my Easter break while I was studying there, and got to see it in it's most-popular time of year, Easter.

When I saw that Sevilla was where I was placed, I will be honest, I was disappointed. I've been there before, and was so hoping I would end up going somewhere new, living in a beach town so I could finally fulfill my destiny as a surf and beach bum. This is something that probably didn't happen because I would surely end up with the dreads I've been wanting, and likely never return to a state of reality, which I wouldn't consider bad, but society thinks otherwise (To which I say, screw society! Make your own rules, and make your own reality!). So after lying there trying to go back to sleep, my head reeling with thoughts about Sevilla and what this meant for me, I finally fell asleep, and woke up with a better perspective.

This all happened on Friday morning. Since then, I spent Friday night in San Clemente, and then returned to L.A.. Saturday involved locking in the storage unit and getting all the necessary items: a lock, a packing package that came with boxes, tape, and packing wrap, the insurance, and everything else and it goes without saying that after this, everything went downhill and really started to suck.

My boyfriend was with me, and without him, I would have never been able to accomplish what I did. Sunday consisted of church, and then going home to begin packing up my entire apartment. I was supposed to be completely out of it on Tuesday, so I was going to move out on Tuesday, spend the night at my grandparent's house in Bakersfield that night, and then go on to Stockton on Wednesday, for all my appointments on Thursday. Well, our plans are not always what ends up happening, and this was no different. I got a call on Tuesday morning to confirm my dental appointment...for Wednesday morning. WELL, there went the plan. Suddenly, I had to go from packing up my apartment and putting remaining items into storage, to packing up my wardrobe and putting it in my car, getting my boyfriend back to Mission Viejo (45 min w/o traffic, 2 hours with, each way), and going all the way to Stockton in one day/night. Awesome.

To sum it up, nothing ended up happening how I thought it would. I got my stuff into storage on Monday, had to go back on Tuesday to leave stuff, and then had to pack up the rest of my things that I planned to bring to Stockton. Ended up filling my car as much as I could with his stuff and mine, going to Costa Mesa, leaving things at his mom's, then we went out for our typical dinner...sushi. :) From there, I went back to my apartment, got there around 10pm, and still had to load the rest of my stuff. Around 10:45 I realized that there wasn't room in my car to fit any of the items in my two closets, and had to make a quick call to my uncle. I stayed in LA on Tuesday night at his house and left a few large items there to pick up next week. I then got less than four hours of sleep, woke up at 5am on Wednesday, went to my apartment to load up the rest of my stuff and do a final wipe-down, and was on the road to Stockton at 6:25am. I made it to Stockton in time to stop at my parents' house, grab a car that wasn't packed to the top with my stuff, and get to the appointment at 11:10, right on time! I then came home, and unpacked my car gradually. My bed, still covered...

It has been a whirlwind, and I still am questioning if going to Spain is the right thing for me to do, but right now, I need some breakfast, so I will continue with this later and dive deeper into this internal turmoil that I am dealing with.

Me leaving LA with eyes puffy from crying for about 10 hours on-and-off, packing up, and hitting the road, before 6:30am. Death.

Today's Thought: I always have believed in my dreams and know that they often are telling me something about life or what's to come in the future. Last night, I kept dreaming I lived in SF, does this mean that is my next destination, not Spain?

Indecisive

Today I feel like crud. I am not in the mood to do any of the remaining things that I need to do in order to leave, and I'm questioning if I even want to go.

I love my life. I have great friends, an amazing family, a completely wonderful boyfriend, and am finally starting to develop more of a social life and stake my claim in the social world again. It's so hard to think about leaving right now when things are going so well. I am not sure if I'm making the right choice, or if I'm just making the "easy" one.

It's always been my dream to go back, and I know it will only get harder to go as time goes on, but I am worried about losing all that I have now while I run off and try to achieve my big dreams. And to know that I would be breaking two hearts in the process makes it even worse.

There is no easy way out on this one, and I am scared s------- that I will make the wrong choice. But then again, is there really a wrong choice?

No matter what I do, I'll be happy. I will have fun, make friends, have a lot of laughs, and enjoy memorable experiences. So it just comes down to what feels right, which, unfortunately has changed daily since I learned about my acceptance to the program.

One thing I do know for sure: I cannot make this decision based on which option is more appealing in comparison to the other. On the one hand, I have to pack up my entire apartment, rent a Uhaul, move it all into a storage unit, and handle everything else I've outlined, and on the other, I have to accept that I will be turning down an opportunity I have been manifesting in my life for the last two years AND look for a job. Both have really great outcomes, neither involve much that I want to actually do. If only I could have been born an heiress of something, then I could just travel, enjoy a lavish life, and help people, without having to be concerned with any of these sorts of things. Oh, to dream.

Moving on... it's time to look for some jobs I could be happy doing around these parts, and put a storage unit on hold in the event that I do fulfill this going abroad thing.

Today's Thought: What do I do? What am I supposed to do?

Over-Flowing Passion

Now that one of the bigger parts of this journey has been resolved (getting out of my lease), it's on to the next items on my list! Here I outlined the things that I would have to do before my departure, and I am very proud to say that since I wrote out this list, I have been able to check something off each day! Don't worry, I'm surprised by myself in this situation too! ;-D

I now have an orthodontist appointment, dentist appointment, and hair cut scheduled, as well as having figured out how I will get out of my lease, get my flight paid for, and manage seeing the people I need to see, in the midst of handling everything that needs to be handled. Still to be done are many things, among them, finding out which city I'll be living in, getting my visa, and purchasing my ticket ( No big deal right? Some of the only things left for me to figure out and do are the most important and biggest things of all 8-/ ), and, the one I am about to embark on right now... finding the cheapest storage unit that I can! [Suggestions are welcome and accepted in the comment box below.]

Oh, and did I mention that THIS IS MY LAST DAY OF WORK!?! 8-D Well, I mean, obviously I'm going to have another job, but I really don't consider it a job since I'll be living in Spain, on the beach (where I am manifesting myself), and traveling extensively. As much as I love kids and think teaching them could be fun, I've gotta be honest, I'm only doing this so I can become fluent in Spanish and travel around Europe some more. Quite understandable I'd say! But anyways, yes, today is my last day working for Mr. Mickey Mouse! (Didn't you know? He's my direct supervisor!;) If I include the time I spent here as an intern last summer, I have put in 10 months at the Disney/ABC Television Group (DATG), and worked in three different departments in that short amount of time (Media Relations for Daytime & SOAPnet, Communications Administration, and Internal Communications/Events). It has been such a great learning experience for me, and I have many learned many things that will serve me well in my future endeavors. There have been many great people I've met, and I am going to miss their humor quite a lot. I couldn't have been more proud to tell people where I work during my time here, even a little embarrassed at times because it's so awesome!

But now, I will finally be taking my own advice, and setting off to live a life that will bring me more happiness than I can fathom! (Not that I haven't experienced happiness here, it is after all, part of the happiest place on Earth!) Traveling, getting exposed to other cultures, and learning from others unlike myself are my passions, and I will embark on a life full of just that in a few short weeks! It is without a doubt the scariest, riskiest option I could make at this time, but I know that means it's the right one. If it scares you, it's probably meant to be, because nothing good ever came too easy! (Forgive my blending of every quote and cliche into one.)

Today's Thought: I am proud of myself. I made the hard choice, and am actually, finally, really pursuing the life that I have wanted for myself since my return to the U.S. over two years ago. It's scary, it's a mystery, it's going to be nothing that I could begin to expect, but it's going to be worth it, and it's going to be the greatest adventure I've had so far. I encourage you all to do the same! Don't spend time doing things if you don't love them. If you do what you're passionate about, you are bound to be the best you can be, and do it better than anyone else (namely those who don't have a passion for whatever it is). We have grown up in a world that tells us the steps we're supposed to take, what counts and what doesn't, what has worth and what doesn't, and what's acceptable and what's not. Why? Why does it have to be this way? Break the mold, MAKE YOUR OWN REALITY! The path you were on before will always be there when you get back, go live!

That is all. Blessings, love, and light to each one of you!

I'm the A------

Well, I need to issue a huge apology to my management company and landlord. Yesterday I went on a bit of a rant about how frustrated I was that I wasn't hearing back from anyone, and that the clock is ticking. Let me just say this... stressed out and worried is NOT a good look or attitude on me. I get ugly, mean, and hateful, all things that I loathe and never want to be. But, I let my emotions and fears get the best of me, and this morning that all proved to be ridiculous and a bit melodramatic.

I spoke with my landlord this morning, and because of my circumstances, I am getting out exactly as I had hoped. So it goes without saying, that I recommend anyone who can, to use Hoffman Management. They are really great, and generally very responsive (this was a special case, so understandably it took a while longer than I had imagined it would). I feel like a total jerk for getting so worked up and making such a stink about it, but I am here to apologize, and take the slack for my inappropriate behavior and venting to the cyber-world.

With that being said, I would like to brag about the fact I have checked off another item from my to-do list! Yay! And so the forward progress continues!

Today's Thought: Things are going the way they should. I was kicking myself in the face this morning, having a sour mood, and it led to a series of annoying events. But when I got out of my car at work this morning, I told myself, "These things do not, in any way, determine today. They do not mean today will be bad. Today, will be great. I am in charge of how I feel, and today, I'm choosing to be happy!" And what do you know, the moment I pulled out my phone at my desk, my landlord had texted saying to call anytime today. So I called, and the news was better than expected (well, about what I had expected, because I had manifested the results of the call a few days ago:). They keep my deposit, and I'm pro-rating an amount for next month, but under $300... exactly what I spoke out loud was going to happen, and it has! Manifesting your life is so much easier than we think. You just have to think, believe, say, trust, and let it happen! Make your own reality!

ARGGGHafoiajdfaouifhgaifhaen!

Why is it that landlords and management companies (for the most part) make our lives so flipping difficult!? I realize that I am trying to get out of my lease very soon after signing into it, and that I probably should have found a place that was month-to-month, and that this is a really crappy move on my part to back out and leave them high and dry, and that I am signed into an agreement and somewhat bound by it, and everything else that one should and could realize in this situation, I have! But that doesn't change the fact that my circumstances have changed, and I can no longer pay the rent and live in the apartment.

I have been trying everyday since last Thursday to speak to someone about how we can handle me leaving, quiet as a church mouse, and have had no sort of conversation that would enable me to acquire any new knowledge. If you don't want to let me out of my lease, TELL ME, don't ignore my phone calls and texts and attempts to figure this out!

I made a Craigslist posting about the apartment yesterday to get a feel for how easy/difficult it might be to sublet, and had a very strong response. So, luckily, if I cannot be let out of my lease without some incredibly over-the-top fee and am forced to sublet to avoid said fees, it will not be a difficult task. And yes, for all of you (Hello? Are you out there??) wondering how I intend to deal with a sublet when I'm living out of the country, and thinking to yourselves that subletting probably isn't the wisest choice for me since I will be abroad and have difficulty dealing with such things, don't fret -- I've already thought of that too. If I hadn't, I wouldn't be developing new mountain ranges on my forehead with each day that passes, bringing me closer to the ever-dreaded first of the month (rent pay-day). I also wouldn't have reached out to my friends to see if they know anyone who needs a place down here. So cool those jets micro-managers, I've thought of everything....I think.

And that is the update on this situation. I have nothing else completed on my to-do list, but am going to call some storage places now to do some rate-hunting!

Today's Thought: Why do people have to make things so much more complicated than necessary? (And yes, I realize that I am often the difficult one, especially in this situation, but that's not the point.) I find myself making problems that aren't even there, worrying about things that are too far ahead for me to fathom, and generally over-thinking things so much that I make them ten times more complicated than they should be. WHYYYY!?!? We, my humanistic friends, have problems. Loads of em. But I don't say this to make us feel badly, what we realize, we can fix!

Cheers!

Moving

What a weekend! This weekend was "the big move" and my mind and body sure feel it! 

My mom got into LA about 1:15pm on Saturday with the Budget truck holding "all the contents of my life," and we spent almost two hours unloading it. I must have taken trips up and down the flight of stairs at least 25 times, always with something in my hands. We were up until about 2am working on the place -- going to Bed, Bath & Beyond, Ikea (the first time either of us had ever been), unpacking boxes, building furniture, and getting as much done as we could before our bodies gave out. It was the longest day I've had in a while (#firstworldproblems), but we got a good amount done.

Sunday called for another trip to Bed Bath and Ikea, taking mom to the airport, and putting in another 11 hours of work unpacking, organizing, building, and more! It was so exhausting, but all worth it to look around before going to bed last night and see that I only need to put in another few hours tonight! I still have a lot of things I need to purchase to complete the place, but that will come little by little each month as my checks come in. 

Moving is such a process, it takes a lot of time and money, but when I can look around and know I've built (quite literally) a place for myself to call home, it feels so great. I look forward to the memories I will make in this place, and praise God for the blessings he lays upon me regularly. 

From this. . .

To this. . .

 Turning a studio into a 1br is doable! 

Built this myself, thank you, Ikea!

And now I conclude, because my brain is so tired and doesn't feel like being artistic in a written sort of way, and my lunch period is coming to a close. :) 

Today's Thought: You can do whatever you put your mind to! Don't give up, work hard, and when things seem too tough and overwhelming, take a step back, a deep breath, and tell yourself, "I can do it." Take things step by step, and eventually you'll meet the end of the path!

The Next Chapter Begins Now

As I sit here in my room at my uncles' house surrounded by the rest of my things all packed up, I am struck by such a cocktail of feelings. I have been living here now for *cough cough* three months *cough cough,* and while it is probably at least a month and a half longer than any of us anticipated, it went by faster than a speeding bullet.

I have never lived alone before, and while I am excited about reclaiming my independence and getting back into the world as a strong woman, I am also frightened. I can say without a reasonable doubt that I have taken advantage of my time living here in this paradise, and I am going to miss very much coming home to family and Sunshine (the cutest dog ever). I take comfort in knowing I am a mere five minutes away from them, but I still can't help but wonder if I'm really ready for this next chapter.

Adventures aren't something I run from, so I am prepared to take on this journey full-force, but it's going to be quite a change of pace from being mothered and fathered, to returning to a way of life that requires me to be almost solely dependent on myself. My eyes are starting to glisten as I look around the room I have called mine for so many weeks now, but I also know that I am leaving and heading in the direction I am supposed to.

A moment of clarity came to me yesterday, and a voice inside let me know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. The path I am on will take me to where I want to be in life and what I should be doing, even if I am unaware of where and what that might be at the current time. Since graduating college I've always said, "life's a ride, and I'm along for it." Let the next adventure begin, and let you grow with me as I grow in it.

Today's Thought comes from something that Kate said over the weekend at LiB. She said, "wherever you are, is perfect." Embrace every moment, take what comes, and seize all opportunities, because they don't go away, they just move onto the next person. P&L

DISGUSTED.

Ok, this is not going to be the nicest entry that I have ever written, but I am all about the honesty here, and that's what you're going to get!

I have been in a really great mood all day, and all week for that matter. I think that knowing that Lightning in a Bottle is this weekend, and that I get to spend it with two of my favorite people in the world, and then see my boo thing to cap off the long weekend, in combination with the fact I have been listening to Christian music all week, has really kept my spirits high and soaring. I've been smiling a lot, work has been going so well, and I feel as though my life is moving in a positive direction.

But then, I got off work and went to my apartment. I needed to take some measurements so I know what size rugs, curtains, and etc I am going to need, and after taking all the necessary measurements, I also took a better look at the place. What I realized... it was FILTHY. And that's after I went there on and swiffered and scrubbed it down. I don't think it had had a professional cleaning since God knows when, which I'd say should absolutely happen in between tenants. I realize it is standard for the former tenant to clean the place before the new one moves in, but to leave goopy stuff in one of the closets, dust and grime all over the counters, sink, tub, and floor, a Q-Tip in the restroom, AND FRESHLY SHAVED HAIR ALL OVER THE BATHROOM FLOOR!?!?!?! ARE YOU KIDDING!?

Maybe it's just because I am a total neat-freak and do not shave over a sink and leave it all over the place (especially if I'm moving out and someone new is moving in), but that is SO DISGUSTING. So many people have completely forgone their ability to be considerate to others, and it is such a disappointment. So now, on Tuesday when I was planning to start taking over my things and my feelings were revolving between excitement, joy, and happiness about making a new home, I will instead be on my hands and knees scrubbing the hell out of my soon-to-be-place, that in the current hour, I hate. I will take photos and post them before I clean it just so you can see what I'm talking about.

There you have it. One more story from the moving diaries. Many more to come!

Today's Thought: Fact: Treat others how you want to be treated.

Not saying that I hope that Alexis' (as I found out from an old bill in the mail) new apartment was covered in some guy's facial hair, but if it was, I wouldn't be the last to say, "Karma's a ...................!"

Ya Never Realize

Flaming fireballs it takes a lot of work to move into a new place! You never even think about all the basic necessities that you are going to need in your daily life until you have to start from the ground up. I feel especially empathetic towards people who have lost everything to a fire or robbery, because that would be even harder.

I am fully aware that it's "just stuff," and that material items hold no real value in life because the true value in life comes after death, but still. I appreciate nice things, have expensive taste without even trying, and tend to be a bit of a pack-rat. But I'm not talking about "things" right now, what I'm talking about are the basics like toilet paper, Comet, bleach, Shout, sponges, salt, pepper, and a dust pan.

For the last 4.5 years I have lived with these things, not even thinking about buying them in a situation other than because the other ran out or got too old. Now I am starting all over in a new place, by myself, and every day leading up to my official move-in, find myself thinking of a this or that that I am going to undoubtedly need. I am glad these things are coming to mind now before I go and blow all my money on fun though. I've got a lot of expenses coming up with this move, so prioritizing begins now!

The first items that I need to get are rugs. My floors are hardwood, and I'm in the upstairs studio. I do not want to infuriate the people below me with my sauntering, shuffling, zombie walk and heavy steps, or my questionably-loud music, so rugs must go down first! I will be sure to include photos and updates with each phase of this process, and am always open to suggestions. :)

Today's Thought: You can attract more bees with honey than vinegar, so don't romp around on your hardwood in heels, without first putting down a rug.

Work/Life Balance

Today I officially began the process of moving into my new place. Well, I guess if we want to be technical about it, I got the keys a week ago today, but I haven't been back since or put in any work moving, so I'm starting this blogairy (blog/diary). I went over tonight when I got off work so I could Swiffer/sweep/scrub the place down before I begin to take over my belongings. Since there isn't any electricity, gas, or water, I was limited on what I could do, but not mentally. The OCD in me popped out as I began to envision where everything would go and how I would set the place up. I absolutely intend to take it from a studio to a one bedroom, but it's going to take some time. Since I have such extravagant plans for the next month, I will have to really figure out my budget so I can buy the apartment amenities that I absolutely need (ie. floor lamp, white Xmas lights, and rugs). I am thrilled about the idea of my new place, and can't wait to see how it turns out after it's gotten some TLC and a nice stylish touch.

This was quite a remarkable Monday for one other reason though.. Today, I LOVED my job. I was sent with one of my colleagues to a press junket for ABC Family's upcoming comedy, "Baby Daddy." My co-worker and I went so we could interview the talent and the show creator/runner/writer for an article for our employee webpage. He told me that he would interview the creator, but that I would be left to interview the talent. Mind you, I've never really interviewed anyone for anything, so I had a quick moment of "Oh my gosh, what!?" Luckily I am not a very intimidated person, don't tend to get star-struck, and am not otherwise socially inept, so it was really not bad, and the cast members were great. The guys (Jean-Luc Bilodeau, Derek Theler, and Tahj Mowry) were all very easy-going (and so very attractive) and had amazing chemistry, and Melissa Peterman and Chelsea Kane were charming as could be. But I will say, they were taking cast photos before they started the interviews, and sure the guys were nice to look at, but as soon as they brought out that baby, the guys disappeared and I was all-eyes-on-her. Talk about a precious bundle of joy, love, and adorable-ness! (Dear friends, please someone have a baby soon so I can love it, without holding any responsibility:) It was one of those days that makes me say, "I really love my job." And the kind of day that reminds me why I am doing what I do. I am looking forward to more exciting days!

Today's Thought: Never underestimate the power of positive thought and perseverance. If you let the negative and bad infiltrate your mind, body, and soul, then that is all that will come out and surround you. Channel the positive and the good, and everything around you improves and falls into place. :)

House Hunter Rationale

I can't begin to guess how many times a person will move in their life, but I think it's safe to say the average person will likely move 3-5 times in their life. I always used to count the move from the hospital home post-birth as one, but now I think that's a little ridiculous. The basic moves that I think most people will face in their lives are the following:

1. Perhaps sometime before college 
2. To college (I realize many stay at home and go to a junior college, but still...)
3. Either back home, or to a new place post-college (again, I realize, not everyone)
4. Post-college
5. Another after college
6. Time to start your own family and move

This is 100% a generalization, and doesn't even apply to my life. In my life I have had the following moves:

1. 7th or 8th grade my family moved into a new home
2. August 2007 - moved from Stockton to a dorm in Chico for college
3. May 2008 - moved back home for summer
4. August 2008 - moved into a house in Chico
5. May 2009 - moved back home for summer/my things into a storage unit
6. September 2009 - moved to Spain to study abroad
7. December 2009 - moved into a different apartment in Spain (new area, new roomies)
8. May 2010 - moved back to the United States, Chico, new college house --> worst experience ever!
9. June 2011 - moved to LA for the summer (internship w/ Disney/ABC)
10. August 2011 - moved back up to Chico
11. February 2012 - half-moved back to LA into my uncles' house / all my "stuff" into a storage unit

So as you can see, this, like most things in my life, has been done to an extreme that most people will not endure. Eleven moves in 23 years, most taking place in the last six. How horrifying, and fortunate. :) So when I say, "I am so tired of moving," do not think that I am simply talking about your basic college-moves. The ones abroad, namely the one returning, were total havoc. 

And now, it is time for me to move once more. All of my belongings are back in a storage unit, and the time has come that I find a place in LA that I can call my own. This weekend I am hitting the pavement hard, literally, with my happy feet, to knock on those complex doors and get myself a place! What an adventure it will be, especially considering that the last 2 months have severely raised my standards. 8X But like anything in life, it is a challenge and adventure that I look forward to conquering! Game on!

Today's Poetic Snippet: This life is a ride, a roller coaster of sorts. And this weekend I'm taking on the apartment hunt, in my short shorts! ;)