For the last 3-4 weeks, I've been having some troubles with my debit cards and accessing my money. It's caused some really uneasy feelings in me, the same ones that always arise when I'm having money trouble or a hard time getting to my money/am in a situation where I feel I don't have enough on me. And it's making me think just how big a source of stress money is, even though I've got it. So if it causes this much inner tension and bad attitude in me because I feel a little helpless, someone who actually can afford to live, I can't even begin to fathom the stress most people are under when they can't afford clean water or proper food or medicine for any part of their families. My gosh, it makes me sick, and so ashamed of how I've been sitting here feeling!
How is it possible that we've allowed our society to come to this? This place, where we are so dependent on money and it's buying power, that we have forgotten that all we need is inside of us, and we shouldn't let lack of money or financial troubles throw us completely off. Yet, we do. Yet, we are. Yet, we have.
It is a very, very sad truth that in our "first world, advanced, western society,"
"Money Is Power!"
They slam it down our throats from the moment we're born, showing us endless commercials of what we need and want, always in order to be happy, look better, feel better, be better. They make us feel inadequate and weak if we don't have the latest this or the most expensive that. And they make us very, very aware of the fact that we cannot really participate in their society if we don't have enough paper in the pocket. And it's disgusting, because it's just that: paper. And especially those who are on the dollar, it's value-less paper. Even better.
It's perfect that we let ourselves become slaves to this slip that has no value. It's amazing how we kill over these printed pieces. It's mind-blowing how happiness and status have somehow become synonymous with what you do, drive, and have in your accounts. And it's out of control the lengths we go to and the sacrifices we make, just so we can earn enough to get us to the next check. And credit cards? Oh yeah, you must be a major player then if you've got one of those! Platnium? Gold? Black? Oh my gosh, you must be the King of the Earth with those words surrounding your name! Congratulations, you have conquered.
So we can go on buying things that don't really make us happy, don't really make us better, and definitely don't contribute to a better quality of life? So we can contribute to the spending society, and be so busy being caught up on the latest iPhone, Audi, system, size, and symbol, that we forget to contribute to the Universal Society of Being [happy]?
As soon as I felt how my entire Being shifted entirely and completely simply because I am couchsurfing at someone's house I have to leave tomorrow and have no apartment yet, but need one, and need to get and pay for one, but only have 20 euros in cash, another 20 in my account, and money in a place I can't access from here because I only have a temporary, 30-day debit card attached to it that expired at least 60 days ago, and clearly I'm out of the country, so it makes it a little bit more complicated to sort, I became so angry at myself and the way I was letting this affect me. Because I know that it's all going to work out. I know that it's all going to be perfectly fine. I know there's absolutely no reason to permit this tension to rise inside me and hang out in my chest. Because it's always fine, and it always works out, and the tension is always useless.
And then, after realizing all of this, and reminding myself to breath deeply, because I was being a completely faithless little fool, I became so angry at money, and so overwhelmed by what it does to us, what it's done to us. And I became so embarrassed that, in the middle of all these insane blessings that are being dumped on me -- finding out on the very last day, that there is one spot that opened up in the Integrated Kinesiology course I really, really wanted to take in Sevilla this year, meaning I can start studying things that I want to apply to my future, practices I want to practice for the rest of my life, things that will fulfill me and help others in a natural, pure way; or pulling out my "Play Banjo" DVD out so I can start learning to play a beautiful instrument that was gifted to me by such an incredible human, and use a-whole-nother bit of my brain, aiding me in expanding and entering the next level of living and Being; or being offered a place to stay, even though family members start coming for the wedding tomorrow, but I'm still here; or uploading all the hundreds of pictures I've taken over the last three months, spread out in seven countries, that are filled with love and smiling faces and new sights, all reminders of all the blessings I've received this summer -- I could even have the capacity to be stressed or ungrateful.
How shameful. How sad.
But I refuse to give in, give up, and let all this get me down.
Because I am aware. I am conscious. And I am fully and consciously aware that I. want. more!
I want more than a life dependent on other people paying me! I want more than an existence that is reliant on energy grids and government supplements! And I want more than to play along with it all and act like it's ok, because the space inside my head is pretty and positive! No, that's no longer enough! It's time to activate!
So I hereby vow, to do all that I possibly can, to support local farmers, local businesses, and be an economic and environmental spender. Because as long as I live in a society where my money is my power, I want to invest it well, in companies who are looking out for the planet and all her inhabitants. I vow to research and learn what I can, so that I can work towards an independent existence, and one that contributes to improving the quality of life for all Beings, energetically and physically. And I promise, to continue these conscious practices, so I can never again get so worked up over money, that I write some twisted remix version of slam poetry. Because I know better than to give energy to what I don't want. So here and now, I will tell you what I do:
Equality for all Beings! Clean drinking water for all! Good, healthy, organic food for all! Natural healing and organic medicine for all! A sense of contentment for all! Knowledge that YOU ARE LOVE, for all! To remind all of us, that we are stronger than they want us to think, and far more powerful than our bank accounts might tell us we are and the mirror might make us feel! That we are one, we are a unite, and while our hearts may beat inside each of our own chests, they beat together, as one, creating a Universal Heartbeat (and that sh-- is powerful)! We are the Source, and the Source is Us! And it's our world, our lives, so let's live them joyfully, and not sacrifice our eternal happiness for the sake of filling someone else's pockets!
We band together,
and we stand as one!
Because we are all connected,
and that can never be undone!