Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Where Is The Love?

Every single one of us is born with certain desires and questions. The desire to love and be loved is one, and the never-ending question and exploration about what our purpose is in life is another. Both of these are things I have struggled with for my entire life in one way or another.

I remember being in the first and second grades. There was a group of us girls that were "BFF's" and always "stuck together." We always fought over one of the girls, Michelle, and for some reason had decided that she was the ultimate BFF, the one we all wanted to share our friendship necklaces and secrets with. Now, I'm not sure how this cruel game came to be, but I distinctly remember that we would alternate excluding one of the girls. A few of us would completely exclude her and make her feel like she wasn't part of the group anymore. We would walk past whoever was out of the group for the week and say things like, "I can't wait to spend the night at your house tonight! It's going to be so much fun!" We would say it loud enough, and deliberately enough that whoever we were shunning that week would hear, feel sad and jealous, and know that she was missing out on something, even though no sleep overs were ever actually planned. And one thing I remember more than any of it, was how it felt to be the girl sitting against the cement building, watching as my so-called "best friends" walked by, bragging about the plans they were making, and excluding me from. Even though I was part of doing that to others, I felt like I was on the outside more than the inside. It brings tears to my eyes and pain to my heart to recall these times.

I don't know how or why girls are so viscous, and why when we are young we feel the need to prove "how cool we are" by completely bringing down other people. And the fact that we never were really planning a sleep over, just means that we premeditated the pain we were inflicting. How sad and gross. When we are that young, we do not realize the psychological damage that we are inflicting on our fellow lady friends, and it's no wonder so many grow up to be depressed adults, constantly seeking the attention, approval, and acceptance of others, and generally finding it in the company of men. And if this is the kind of thing that was going on back in 1996, I can't even imagine what goes on today now that kids are exposed to so much more violence and hardship.

Our society is full of problems, but one of the greatest, by far, is our inability to simply give into, accept, and go with one of our only desires -- to love and be loved. If all we want from the time we are born is to feel loved, then why do we waste so much energy and time doing exactly the opposite to those around us? Why not just give in to the fact that we want to be loved, and realize that in order to be loved, we must also love?

There's a real problem these days, and as I've demonstrated, it's been going on for years, more likely decades and centuries, with people and the way we treat one another. If we weren't put on this earth to take care of each other, then why are there so many of us? So many people have children and pets because they want that bundle of joy that validates them. A baby or pet loves you, needs you, adores you, and is there for you. What else feels as good as a baby looking up at you, smiling, with its arms outstretched for you to hold it? Or a dog that gets excited and races up to you for love when it sees you? And what feels worse than being dissed by a baby or dog? Very little. This innate need to love and be loved is something we all have, so why don't we express it more?

I believe that we can see changes in the world. But I also know for a fact that the only way to see these changes are to love and be loved. We can't keep closing ourselves off to the possibility of great love, refusing to give it, and hope that things will get better. It's impossible, and I don't need to be a poli sci major or politician to know it.

Let's work on loving each other, unconditionally. :)

Today's Thought: If every person gave as much love as they had, and every person received all the love that was offered to them (not meaning sex), then the world would be the most beautiful place. But maybe that's not the point. Maybe earth isn't supposed to be that happy, because then what desire would any of us have to move onto Heaven (whatever your idea of heaven/after life might be)?

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