Friday, April 27, 2012

Ponder, Plot, and Pray.

Ever since graduating I get hit sometimes with these very strange mental moods. The kind that leaves me feeling a little lost in the world, a little unsure if I'm on the right path, a little frustrated that what I really want always seems to be a little out of reach, and a little restless with where I'm at. I am comforted in knowing that I am not alone in these feelings, nor will I be the last person to face them. And while sometimes they may cause me to slip into a place with a little too much anxiety, I ultimately am grateful for them. They allow me to examine my life, my values, my goals, my hopes and dreams, and cause me to ponder, plot, and pray.

This is the natural progression of life. The crossroads we all come to at some point. On the one hand is the corporate mentality, ready to start the next chapter and begin to grow into the intended adult. The other, the rebelling youth, wanting to hold onto the spontaneous and wild ways.

I have always prided myself on being the kind of person to recognize "the time and the place" and act accordingly. But now, as I am presented with my greatest opportunity to do so, I find myself fighting against it very often with everything that is within me. One half tells me that I am young, 23-years young. Full of life, love, curiosity, and desire. I want to explore every surface of the Earth, know its every mountain range, river, and people. Then there is the other half that tells me to grow up, that I am 23-years old. Graduated from college and working 40 hours a week in a corporate job. Presented with a rare, incredible opportunity that can set my life in motion. I have big plans of achievement, and this is a great place to start them. These two halves collide constantly, presenting the most difficult battle a person can face -- one that takes place within.

But when I think about it, it always has been, and always will be, about balance. Finding the balance between that wild, free spirit that fills you, and that focused, ambitious spirit that drives you. Finding a balance that will enable you to apply the untamed and unwilling part of yourself, without letting it take over, and apply the realistic and knowledgeable part of yourself, without fully conforming to its structure.

Life is about embracing who and what you are, and applying every ounce of it to everything you do, so you may do it as best you can.


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