One of the things that I have been chanting and saying to myself repeatedly since I got here is, "God's got it!" Remembering that my life is in His hands, and that I have nothing to worry about, because He is looking out for me, has been such a saving grace, and really helped bring me inner peace.
It's really hard to stay calm and not let the anxiety get the best of you when you are in certain situations, but seriously, even if you can't sooth away the fears completely just by reminding yourself of this, the simple action of trying helps.
This morning, I was running a little late. My morning yoga/abs/meditation time ran a little long, which had me running a little behind. (Or maybe it was the fact I snoozed once or twice instead of waking up when my alarm first went off...hmm..) No matter, I was running a little behind this morning. I couldn't have been bothered by it, because I had such a good morning yoga sesh, and a really great devotional, but when I left the house to go to work, my mood shifted a little bit.
There is a city bike system is Sevilla that is really amazing and brilliant, and it allows you to rent a bike from one of these stations (they are literally everywhere in the city), and click the bike back in at any other station. If you ride for less than 30 minutes, it's free, and even if you go over, it's still really cheap. The only problem is, the bikes are really heavy, often times a little broken, and for me, the two stations closest to my home are usually fresh out of bikes, as was the case this morning.
I didn't get too stressed about it, because it's only about a 15-20 minute walk to the metro as is, and there are other Sevici stations along the way. So I decided to speed walk and try to get to the next one. I passed by one, but thought, nah, I'm enjoying this high-speed walk, so I'll just catch one at the next station and be perfect on time. Well, the next station was broken and I couldn't get a bike. This was when a little bit of panic and "oh crap" set in. I knew I could make it, but a fellow educator was picking me up from the metro in Mairena (the village where I teach), and I didn't want to keep him waiting on me. I still thought I could make it and be just fine, until I got to the metro and missed the one I needed to catch by about 30 seconds, leaving me with five minutes to wait.
Now, I know five minutes is a very little amount of time, but when someone is going to be waiting for you that needs the time before class to make copies, five minutes is the difference in someone who's doing you a favor waiting on you, or you waiting on them. Not good to be found in the first scenario. So, I sent a Whatsapp to say that I was running a little bit late, and not to wait for me at the metro. Naturally, I didn't realize until after I had sent it how crucial me getting a ride was.
It takes about 15-20 min for me to walk from the metro to the school, and if I was already going to be a little late to catch a ride at 8:00, I was definitely going to be late to work if I had to get off the metro with less time than I can make it there on foot. So, I did what any reasonable person would do, I started to prepare myself mentally for the run I was about to take, in a giant, white puffer jacket, with a backpack on, and in shoes that can't exactly be called comfortable. It was my only option.
But more than start to prep myself to run to work and likely pass out from a heat stroke, I started to worry. I started to get anxious, fearful, and let the panic set in about being late, not making it, and looking like a bad auxiliary, when I really want to get accepted to the program again. I replayed the morning and went over the things I should have done differently, or skipped, that would have given me the extra five minutes that I needed. I knew that this would only make it worse, so I turned my attention to God, and just kept repeating to myself that He controls time, He can move events around to make it work out for us in the best way, and He has control over everything. I didn't know how, but I knew I would be okay. I just kept pushing the worries away, and telling myself that somehow, even if I had to run, I would get to work, it wasn't a problem, and in the grand spec of life, it's nothing important at all.
One of the things I've been learning a lot from my daily devotionals is that, of course, God is greater than all things, but even more, that when we can adapt His mentality and look at things in our lives from His perspective, our problems hold absolutely no meaning or relevance. The things that happen in our lives that we consider to be such huge deals, really, are nothing at all. The Universe is so much bigger than our problems, so much greater, and adapting this mentality has helped me remain patient when normally I wouldn't, remain calm when I would freak out, and remain realistic about how important things really are.
And I know, without a doubt, that it is because of this, that Edu did not see my Whatsapp message telling him not to wait for me, and that the metro happened to make it to my stop only three minutes after eight, instead of the five or seven I expected, and that as I was coming off the metro, Edu was sitting there, waiting for me, with no idea I'd told him not to, and that it's because of this mentality, that as I was walking across the street, he started to drive away, but saw me, and I made it to work, in a car, on time.
You may not find this story to be an incredible testimony to the power of faith in God and manifestation, but any victory counts, it doesn't matter where it falls on the scale of grandeur. And I'm not trying to convert everyone and tell you that You have to rely on God and turn to Him, but I am telling You that it helps a whole lot. And it's good to have faith in something and someone who can never let you down, even though to our human hearts, it can feel that way sometimes.
This has been my experience, and it has been phenomenal. I can see, daily, the difference it makes to think positively, and keep the demons at bay. We all have them inside of us, they all want to come out and take over, but we have the power and the control. We can make them run back to where they came from, and stay hidden away, deep inside of us, to a part of us that never sees light or is accessed. Life is beautiful, but you have to decide it is, tell it it is, let it be, and not fret over the little things in life.
Today's Thoughts: Live it, love it, live it in Him!
Blessings to one and all,
Love and light that knows no bounds,
And a life full of joy and precious moments.