Friday, February 10, 2012

A Pop Song Kinda Life

I never, ever, ever, ever, ever thought that I would be saying something like this, but....
Britney Spears had it right. 

Phew. Just give me a moment to cope with the fact I just thought that for the thousandth time since I graduated before I continue. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Ok, I think I'm ready now...

But seriously, I really never could have imagined that the pop songs I grew up listening to and loving would come back and actually have some relevance in my later years; let alone be on repeat in my jumbled mind day after day! But since I am at this Crossroads in my life, I have found myself thinking that "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman" over and over again. It really is the perfect way to describe where I am.

To emphasize this, here are some facts:
WOMAN: I am now a college grad, which means the next logical step is to begin a career and start the next "adult" chapter of my life.
I cannot hide in the college bubble and just pass off any questions about what I'm doing with my life with the response, "I'm a student." It is no longer a feasible occupation.
Because of this new development in my life (graduating) I am now supposed to be financially responsible for myself and be able to take care of myself.
Before when I would come home for a visit people would ask me how school was going, which turned into questions about if I knew what I wanted to do next, and now, they will be asking what jobs I applied to.

The only problem with all of this is the flip-side...
GIRL: My fingernails are painted three different, neon colors, and my fingers are always decorated with at least 3 or 4 rings.
I still have on my SnowGlobe wristband from new year's weekend, as well as other "hippie" bracelets.
It is impossible for me to make a decision and stick to it, so how the heck am I supposed to settle on a career FOR LIFE!?!
I recently bought some collared, button-up shirts. Step in the right direction? Hah, you would think so! One is covered in skulls, the other is almost a crop-top.
I live in skinny jeans, and up until today I only had one pair of work pants to my name.

See what I mean? I am so NOT prepared for this thing I am deciding to call "the after life."

I know that technically that is the phase I need to enter, and I know I'm not the only one out there to go through this, but I just don't feel like that's what I am supposed to do with my life yet. The biggest struggle I have been facing is that I need to just get over my ideas and dreams about how my life should be (aka what I want it to be), and GET REAL. The only problem there is that while I have always been a very realistic person, I have also always been a very big dreamer. I believe that I can make a difference in the world and help make people realize that world peace is the only option, and that I can just live my life day to day and let things sort themselves out. But I have got to make myself see that a lot of things, I have to sort out on my own.

The time has come for me to just suck it up and deal with the fact that I can only release my young soul on the weekends, while I use the weeks to bring home the bacon and become the young professional I am possibly destined to become. Big changes are coming my way and all I can do is hope and pray that with each stepping stone I reach, my stiletto doesn't slip off the edge! ;)

Today's Quote: "I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see." -John Burroughs

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