Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Part Of Your World

As I walked on my old college campus yesterday (and yes, I fully intend to ignore the fact that it's only been my old campus as of about a month ago:), I felt more nostalgic than I dreamed possible. And to be quite frank, I felt a bit like Ariel from The Little Mermaid. I had "Part of Your World" playing in my head on repeat, much to my own surprise. But before I get on with my point, I will take you on a drift/story-sesh to inform you as to why I was even wandering on the campus in the first place. And so we find ourselves going back to the thing that originally gave me the idea for the title of this blog...

A.D.D. Drift: Yesterday I went out to tea, and when I left my roommate on the couch watching the latest episode of The Bachelor (By the way, Ben F., you're off your rocker if you can't see the Courtney that everyone else does. And if you ever ditch Casey B., I will boycott!!!), I stupidly assumed she would still be there when I returned. Obviously I failed to realize that not everyone is living in the couch-sitting, television-watching, time-wasting period that I currently am, and actually have responsibilities and places to go/things to do, so I didn't grab a house key. So I get back from tea and I am locked out. But not just locked out, I have had to, pardon me but, use the restroom since before going to tea (over an hour by this point). Now I'm not only locked out without my house key, but I've spent the last 1.5hrs on the verge of wetting my army green skinny jeans, have no car key so that I can at least go pick up my laundry, no bike key to bike anywhere to do something in the meantime, but it's also starting to get dark (it's now about 5:30pm), which means I'm starting to get colder. And to top it off, neither of my roomies are answering their phones, and none of my neighbor friends are home, because, as previously mentioned, they have things to do with their time. So I waited outside on the porch diddling around on my phone for about 20-25 minutes before deciding it was time to become proactive. (Translation: I heard from my roomie, Toke and figured out where she was/that she would be in class till almost 9pm.) After much debate between going around the side of the house to "pop a squat," or walking to campus to pick up her key from her/using the facilities there, I finally decided that taking the short walk to campus was the best and most publicly accepted solution. And walk to campus I did! It was during this time that I..........

Can get back on the point of this whole entry :)

I was utterly surprised when I was walking on the campus. It has been just over a month since I completed my undergraduate studies, so it was shocking to be walking on campus and feel that it is still the place I belong, but also a place that I no longer feel I can call my own. I am officially an alumn, which means that while I can always consider Chico my college town, I cannot consider it to be the place where my life takes place (even though it still currently does). While I probably have countless things in common with many of the students, I am not among the student body anymore. Such a mix of emotions came over me, ranging from proud for having graduated, sad for not having more time, and excited to see what would be coming up next.

It was just another little knock on my mental door from the reality I now face. Growing up is weird my friends. It's not as much fun as we think it is when we're 8-years old, wearing our mom's make-up all over our faces, her heels that are 5+ sizes too big, and dresses that could fit us, and all our friends inside. It's messy, it's unpredictable, and all the planning in the world could fail you when the time actually arrives. But I do not say all of this to be disheartening or pessimistic, even if it may come off in that way. I'm just taking you all along on my up and down life ride! So strap in, because it's been, and will continue to be, a wild one :)

Now I will leave you with this little tid-bit. And always remember that no matter how much you may feel like you "want to be a part of their world," chances are that someone is looking in on yours and thinking the exact same thing!

Today's Quote: "He who has a why to live can bear almost any how." -Friedrich Nietzsche

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