Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Birth Control

Today I am diving into a topic that is very sensitive: birth control.

There are many kinds out there that people use, and generally take advantage of, but there is one that has not yet been put to the test. Now, I realize that this is giving myself a little too much credit, but I think that a pretty solid form of birth control would be: to let me decide.

Yup, that's right, let me choose who is allowed to have babies, and who needs to take a double dose of that BC to avoid populating the world with their nutty little balls of baby.

I would implement this style of controlling birth in a few ways, such as spending some quality time with the people to determine if they would (a) make a reasonable baby (not one that's going to become an abuser, rapist, murderer, or overall bad person to the environment and others), (b) make good parents, and (c) be able to actually take care of the thing. Too many people are running around having kids that they can't afford. I realize that that negates the importance of a child by referring to it as a "thing," but since I am not being gender specific, you'll have to get over it. Back to what I was saying... So many people are popping babies out of their uh-huhs that they really have no business having in the first place. It seems like there are a number of cases of people having children just because they want something to love and to love them back. As a HUGE supporter of love, I can generally see where they are coming from, but as an even bigger supporter of not taking on more than you can handle, I cannot agree with their decision to reproduce just for the sake of having a love ball. (Note: "Ball," "ball of," or "nugget" are referring to the fact that babies are so tiny, and essentially, balls, especially of something [mucous, pee, poop, cries, cuteness].)

Of course I would enlist some help in this, because I am not in the mood to sit behind a desk and talk to the ~7 billion people of the world. Nor can I communicate in any other language than English, Spanglish, some Spanish, and love, sooo that pretty much just leaves me with the U.S. Great.

Ok, so I don't actually think that I should become the latest trend in birth control (even though if I did the world would be populated with the most loving, caring, giving, peace-making people ever... wait, why am I not everyone's BC again??), I just really think that either some people need to learn how to properly use it and stop overpopulating the world with slime balls that grow up to be total jack-offs, or they need to have a child for a better reason, or not on accident (I realize that if it's an accident it wasn't intended, but there are plenty of "accidents" that could have been avoided. Yes, I'm talking to you, girl who stopped taking your pills so you would get PG.). We are in a complete state of crisis (please note slight over-dramatization and exaggeration), the world is about to implode, or explode, or do something and barf us all off of it, and it is time that we start raising people to be a little more conscious of the bigger picture. (Starvation, thirst, AIDS/HIV, other diseases, people living in squalor, people [*cough*President Dilma*cough*] deciding to ruin the home of thousands of other people, and other more pressing issues than, "OH EM GEE! Like, which overly-priced hand bag should I, like, use today... and will my unnecessary baby fit in it?")

More stuff to think about. And even more stuff to think about: Are you really ready to have that baby that you want so badly? Think about it, and if the answer to any of the following questions is "yes," dose up, baby (on that BC / no pun intended)!

1. Have you let a bill go unpaid for more than two months, in the last year?
2. Have you skipped eating a healthy meal and instead eaten some garbage like McDonald's because it was more cost-effective, in the last month?
3. Is your relationship falling apart, been apart, or not in a very good place, nor has it been for the last year?
4. Did you think of yourself at any point in this post because you don't know if you are really ready?

Happy Tuesday! ;)

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