Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Love Too Much

I am so unmotivated right now.

I cannot think of what to write about, because the topics that I have on my "to-write about" slate are lacking all appeal in the current moment, and honestly, I think everything is.

The only things that I really want to do right now are (1) go home, (2) cuddle, and (3) sleep. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I have been waking up at 5:15am each morning this week to go to Runyon and walk/jog/run, and my body hasn't yet adjusted to start letting me fall asleep before 10:45, which translates to not enough sleep, and a semi-grouchy, tired, unmotivated, and careless Allison (in the sense that I literally don't care about much right now other than getting and giving love). 

It's times like these that I think to myself how much I "need" my A.D.D. medicine back in my life, and then that thought makes me mad because I do not ever want to think to myself that a pharmaceutical is what I need to feel better, when in fact, all I need is a good hug. 

I am becoming increasingly aware of how needy I am when it comes to affection, and how much love I have in my heart. I have a constant need to be in loving contact with people, whether it be touching, smiling, laughing, or having some sort of uplifting conversation, I need that all. the. time. It becomes quite a hassle when I live alone, having all these needs for affection and love, and an even bigger hassle considering that my man lives an hour away, on a good traffic day. 

Because I am constantly over-flowing with love for people, I often find myself looking at people I don't even know, but am drawn to, wanting to walk up to them and just wrap my arms around them. I think that's what I like so much about festivals: that's completely acceptable behavior. I tried it at the club I went to in Hollywood on Friday night to see Pleasurekraft (a GREAT show I might add), and it was received with a bit of shock. Although they handled my random passing-of-energy better than I would have expected in that setting. At a festival, anytime you bend down to stretch, you are suddenly feeling hands on you rubbing you out. And usually, when you stand up and look to your friend to say "thanks," there's some random person walking away from you -- it's amazing. 

Yep, I think I shall become a gypsy soon. Living with very little life-plan other than to love and be loved. I honestly don't need much else other than produce, water, and protein in my life, so why not? ;) 

Today's Thought/Question: Consider becoming a traveler and a gypsy -- what are the four things in life you feel you could not live without? 

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