Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Introspection Time

This morning I watched a sermon from Elevation Church in North Carolina. I became obsessed with this church sometime back in October or November, and frequent the website and YouTube channels to watch sermons and listen to worship music. And now, one of the top items on my To Hit List, is an eight day trip to NC, so I can go to Elevation... twice.

I'm going to take a moment to digress, just to address something that tends to be an eyebrow raiser for people. And that is, my religion.

If it hasn't been made apparent in my previous posts, I am here to tell you now, I am a practicing, worshiping, singing, loving, and spreading-the-word kind of Christian. There was an elongated period of time in which religion and my relationship with God were the furthest things from my radar, but in the last three years, I have been regressing -- and of the good kind, to the proper good stuff this time! The last four months have been especially revealing and impactful for me, and I decided that I want to dedicate my life to Christ, and construct my life around Him and what He wants for me. It has definitely not been easy, with all my former habits being generally unaligned with what this relationship requests of me, but I'm persevering in my pursuits of becoming a woman of God. I'm not saying I'm a poster child for Christianity or anything, oh no, no. I've got about a decade's worth of bad habits to overcome, this process takes time. But, I am on my way, and that's what counts. And I'm learning A LOT about myself in the process.

But back to "the point". . . . .

In the sermon, Pastor Steven (whom I recommend all of you listen to, because he is fire!) posed two questions to all of us:

  1. What gets your fire going?
  2. What are your core convictions? 
(Trigger deep thought and introspection here)

Now, I have a habit of asking myself, "What do you want to do, Allison?" at various moments during the day/week. I do it so I can stop, check in with myself, and determine what it is I'm in the mood for. I've got a lot of hobbies at my disposal, so there's generally something enhancing to choose from, and yes, of course, sometimes the answer comes up, "Watch a movie on YouTube," so that's what I do. I try to do this often, most especially when I can tell I'm being a little erratic and my energy is just flying all over the place, off-center, and somewhat insane. And these questions, especially #1, I have considered so many times in my growing years, I'm not sure how it still stumps me when it is posed. However, considering that I'm entering a major year of change and doing "investing activities for my future," it's incredibly important that I stop, think, and reconsider the question. (And come up with some answers.)

I've been struggling a bit to determine what really gets my fire going, because for some reason, travel, loving people, interacting with people, being and feeling Spiritually liberated, and doing what I feel like doing in the moment, don't seem like good enough answers. Ok, let me rephrase that, they don't seem like inadequate answers, but are they ones that can support me throughout my life and be what I build it up around?  

Travel has always been the thing that I know gets my fire burning the hottest. Travel, and planning things. And while this is all good and great, in life, we tend to have to earn some amount of income in order to make it. So in spite of the fact I'd like to be as sustainable and off-grid as possible, it's still important for me to think about income. To question how I can turn my life into something that centers around travel and planning things, as I should, since it's proven that we are most successful at things when we are passionate about them, but that will also enable me to live without stressing about how I'll get my next meal or flight? (Since this is a question I've often asked myself and the answer always remains the same, I already have lists of things I can do in order to make a life of travel. But that's not really why I am writing this post, so we'll leave it for now.) The next question, "What are your core convictions," is a newer one for me to ask myself. 

There have been many times when I've thought about the kind of person I want to be, which is in essence the same thing, but I'd never heard it said with those words in that order before. So it got me thinking, "What are my core convictions?" And when I ask myself that, the only answer that I can come up with is the following:

I want my life to be an example of what it means to live and love for the Lord, through His love, in His love, and be a beacon of love, light, and positivity wherever I go.
I want people to know me, think of me, and remember me as a happy, loving, kind person, and one with whom the time they spent with me was spent well.
I want to know that when I leave someone's presence, I am leaving it brighter than it was before, and/or have contributed in a positive way to their attitude and time. 

I figure, if I can manage to do that -- live in and spread love, light, gratitude, and positivity -- the rest will fall into place, life will continue to be great, and I'll get to places I didn't even know I wanted to arrive.

I still can't think of anything else I want to do than travel around the world and love them, giving out hugs everywhere I go, and making people feel visible, loved, cherished, and important, while reminding and showing them that yes, there are many reasons to smile and give thanks to God. But I still can't figure out just how that's going to become my full-time occupation. (Although I've already come up with the title/job description: Healing with Hugs Through the Holy Spirit.:) 

One thing I know for sure is, I trust God with all I've got, and I know He'll get me where I'm meant to be, so long as I continue to walk by faith and let the Spirit guide me. And I also know, that since when I close my eyes and think about my future, all I see is me on dirt roads, in crowded places, surrounded by people whose native language is different than mine, bent down, looking into their eyes, and giving them a hug and a big smile because we've shared something special, then that's what will become my reality. It already is in many ways, and I'm grateful for that, but really, really excited to watch my scope grow! 

We've gotta put our energy into making our lives all we want them to be. I know I am not at all keen on spending my Earth Time filling my life with things that don't satisfy and make my soul sing!

So what about you? Have you asked yourself what gets your fire going? Or how about what your core convictions are? What kind of person do you want to be? And what are you doing to be him/her and accomplish all your dreams? 

These are some of the most important questions you or anyone will ever ask in your lifetime, and are meant to be considered and answers honored. We have one shot at life on Earth, one chance to live a life that satisfies our souls, so don't let it go to waste, working for a better future that will give you the time/money/etc you need to do what you want to do now. Opportunities are everywhere, don't let anyone tell you they are scarce. And remember, they're even more prevalent when you're chasing your dreams and living your life passionately. NIKE!

I'm sending you strength, love, light, and everything good and pure in the Universe. I hope it finds you easily, and blesses your days beautifully. 

Blessings, Love & Light
From Above

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