I've found it is very easy to feel at peace and adapt these new ways of thinking/accepting at first, but then for some reason, instead of it becoming embedded like a real habit, they often get left behind, forgotten, or given up on in a moment of mental "weakness". And I never really thought about this until right now.
They say that new habits form in 21 days. But what I've witnessed in myself when I implement a new thought pattern, is that it seems to happen, for the most part, very easily. For example, with my recent realization/decision that I need to just accept everything, everything, everything, hold no resistance, and just take it as it is, while trying to infuse it with my love -- in highest regard to my mental/emotional Highs and Lows. So of course, the last couple days I'm feeling good about my new initiative, things are going pretty well, I'm feeling more loving towards my students (in spite of some snappy moments at the high school yesterday), and I'm trying to accept it as it comes, reminding myself to Remain in God's Love. Seems easy enough right now, and it appears as though I should easily be able to maintain this until I pass the point where this New Way of Processing simply becomes How I Process: it'll become a new habit.
So then why, of all the times I've consciously practiced positive thinking in my life over the last four years, do I still find myself laying in bed when my alarm goes off, dreading waking up and walking into high school? How has this not become the habit I practice in the morning yet?
I know that this is incredibly unhealthy and not a conducive thought practice, yet I engage in it most Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday mornings (although I have noticed a strong correlation to this process and the mornings I have to be at the school in the first hour). What changed along the way? When did positive thinking not become a habit, and become forgotten? And will it then happen again, with this Other New Initiative? Or is it simply that it's incredibly hard to be positive about something that you are almost certain will be so trying? (Another topic to be posted on later..)
What I've decided is this:
Yes, new habits form after 21 days, but there comes a point with everything, where we actually make the choice whether we're going to stick to it or not. Kind of like we've made the first choice to make it a habit and stuck with it so long it has the chance to really become one, but then we have to re-decide to make it a habit, just as it's approaching that time where it would become one.
It's like deciding that I'm not going to eat pastries and desserts everyday, making the choice for a week, feeling good about it, then deciding to reward myself for my strength by having one, okay, maybe two, sweet treats. You see what happens there? I form a new habit, but somewhere in my subconscious realms, I have it categorized away as "this is a treat, I deserve this treat," (insert any other unhelpful excuse here) and then the whole thing crumbles.
With each new habit, especially when it deals with our thought processes, it's important to be aware of it the entire time it's happening, because the moment will arrive, when you're tired, external factors are playing against you, possibly your physical strength is low, ladies, we could have just started menstruating, and a million other things could be coming into play, and then it's not going to be so easy to be so strong. It's in this moment that the devil will test and try us, try to catch us up, make us slip and trip, and cause all the hard work we've been putting in to fall away quicker than Simba's father in The Lion King. (But actually much quicker, because they showed us that horrifying moment in slow motion. PS. Thanks, Disney.)
I can be as aware that this moment will come as I want, which is good, and I'm glad to be conscious of it, because then I can prepare myself for it. It will just take extra mental strength right now, to get firm in what I want for myself and my mind later, and then superhero strength in the moment to stick with it. But we can, brothers and sisters of mine, yes we can! We can be victorious and see our new mental patterns become our way of life, and then we will see our lives become Wow. I want a Wow Life. In many ways, I believe and feel I've got one, but I want to know it's in my mind as well as in front of my eyes. (Everything starts inside!) And that's what I'm after! So bring on The Moment I Make Up My Mind, because I've got God, and I'm ready to kick it in it's face and into its grave!
PS. Someone help me. I think I've been surrounded by pre-teen and adolescent energy, emotion and thoughts for too long, and they are infiltrating my subconscious, causing me to make statements like, "I'm ready to kick it in it's face!" something I'm incredibly against, and actually think is one of the worst possible things you could do to another. (DON'T KICK PEOPLE IN THE FACE. Kiss their cheeks softly and whisper loving compliments into their ears. Spread Love:)
Anyways, love you guys! Hope you're feeling mentally strong and ready for whatever is to come your way today! I'm right there with you!
Into the battlefield of life we go, Happy Hump Day!
Blessings, Love & Light